Beyond Brokenness
by GinjaSnap
Summary: Jasper made the rash decision to walk out the door of the Hale household one day, sure he would be better off without family and friends. Having reached the end of the line, he drags himself back not looking for redemption, but desperate for food and shelter. Can healing find you when you've decided you don't deserve it? AU, Non-canon, J/B in time
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**If you want to know a little bit about where I got the inspiration for this story, it comes from the song "Bloodstream" by Ed Sheerhan. "**_**Lord, forgive me for the things I've done, I was never meant to hurt no one"**_** I just kept imagining the person what type of place a person must be in to speak those words – the regret, the pain, someone who had hit the bottom. **

_*** Chapter 1 – Fallen from Grace ***_

Light pushed its way through the skin of his eyelids and his brain cringed from the assault even before he had the chance to open his eyes. He could feel tiny crumbs of asphalt making an imprint in the side of his face, and even though the ground was very solid beneath his body, it still seemed to be rocking him back and forth creating a nauseous sensation. He was forced from the refuge of unconsciousness by the feeling, and picked his head up from the ground just enough to twist his neck and gag. Stomach muscles clenching and heaving, there was no relief to be found in emptying an empty vessel, it was just wretched dry heaving. The sticky remains of last night's liquor had already been expelled, creating a pillow for his head once he had passed out in the alley around 3 in the morning.

Once Jasper got his stomach to stop protesting last night's activities, he coerced his body into an upright position long enough to lean back against the brick exterior of the building he had been lying next to. Every muscle screamed in response to the movement, pain shooting up arms and legs, ribs aching and sore with every breathe he managed to suck in between chapped lips . One eye was swollen shut, and just beneath sand-colored lashes the skin purpled and split open into a gash that had stopped leaking blood, but had turned into a congealed mess of dirt and fluid. Cool morning air crept through the thin material of his flannel shirt and a layer of dew left every inch of his body that had been exposed to the night air slightly damp.

Jasper looked across the alleyway to see a homeless man searching through the dumpster till he found a pizza box, which he promptly opened and began to devour the scraps of crusty bread and cold sauce. He was jealous of the man's find, seeing as it had been a day or two since he'd eaten anything solid. Had he any energy left in his beaten down frame, Jasper may have even tried to steal the treasure away from the man. But as it was, breathing and preventing another round of getting sick were taking up all the efforts he had left.

This was hell.

Scratch that, this was his own personal hell. The one he created with his own two hands, the responsibility for his residency there 100% his.

_Alice sat on the leather couch in his father's study, examining her nails and pretending not to pay attention to the words being tossed back and forth between the men of the room. _

_ Jasper had planted both fists against the surface of his father's large desk, leaning forward to look the man in the eyes, "Come on, dad, you know I'm never going to follow you into this business. We have argued and fought almost every moment that I have worked for you. Get over it, I'm not the golden child you've always prayed I would turn out to be, no, I'm just the fuck up that you spend your days having to clean up after. You've got Emmett now, just write the damn check and let me go."_

_ "Jasper, I know I've been a little harsh at times, son, but please, don't do this. Don't leave your family behind. Let us try and work through this," pleading blue eyes that matched the steel blue eyes cutting into the speaker voiced one more plea, "This will break Rose's heart if you leave, please, think about what you're doing."_

_ "The check, dad. Just advance me the money remaining in my trust," Jasper demanded, ignoring the man's appeals, "I'm leaving with or without the cash, but if you ever loved me, you can show it by giving me something to live on till I make my own way."_

_ Silence stretched between the two men. One hoping that if he refused to move in acquiescence, his wayward son might see the folly of his plan, and the other rigid and unbending to any request made of him. After a few minutes of staring at each other, Alice keenly watching Jasper to make sure he didn't cave under daddy's begging, Alex Hale pulled out a ledger from his desk drawer and wrote a check out to his only son. He'd barely moved his hand to give it to his child before Jasper snatched it from his fingers and turned to make his way out of the home office._

_ Alex was frozen in his chair, watching Jasper's form retreat from the room. Alice placed the emery board she'd been toying with back into her bag and got up from her seat. Giving the broken man a smile of victory, she turned and followed J's form out into the hallway and towards the front door._

_ In a moment of perfect timing, Rosalie was descending the stairs as Jasper reached the entrance to the Hale home._

_ "Jasper? Are you and Alice not having dinner with us?" The beautiful blonde questioned a brother who had once been so close people thought they had to be twins, the bond between the two having fused them together to the point that their beginnings seemed intertwined. That was until Alice came into the picture…_

_ Jasper stopped, but didn't have the courage to turn and meet his sister's gaze, "I'm leaving Rose. Give Emmett my regards. I'll send you a message when I get to wherever I'm going."_

_ "What? What do you mean you're leaving?" Rosalie descended the stairs and grabbed her brother's arm forcing him to face her, but he kept his eyes trained on a spot over her shoulder, never meeting her eyes, "This is Alice's doing, Jazz, don't let her take you from us."  
"Oh, Rose, I'm not your brother's master. He's his own man," Alice sneered, "and he's just realized that there's no future for him if he stays here. He'll never be good enough for you people."_

_ Rosalie looked hurt, "That's not true, J, we love you," her voice dropped to a whisper, "please, please, don't do this."_

_ Jasper gritted his teeth and hardened his jaw, "I love you too, Rose, but I've got to go."_

_ Placing a short kiss on her forehead, the man turned and walked out the door, ignoring the sobs of the woman who was once his other half._

Salt found its way into the cut under his eyes as tears slid silently down Jasper's face. He'd been so foolish in thinking he'd known what was best, that he would be better off without their interference in his life, that he could go so much further if he left his home and ventured off on his own. The mantel of guilt and shame freshly spun and placed upon his shoulders bent his spine over until his forehead touched his knees, and he wept from the grief of his cruel treatment of the sister who loved him.

Now he was penniless, homeless, beaten up and hung over from another drinking binge wishing he had enough energy to take the trash that was another beggar's breakfast.

Yeah, he'd gone real far on his own. If his father had been disappointed by the mistakes of his past when he had lived at home, he probably wouldn't even bother claiming the man Jasper had become as his son. Less than two years and the money gone, he was a dirty, filthy scrap of something less than human. Even the lowest paid worker in the Hale Construction company was better off than Jasper. Hell, he'd have a better life if he was just picking up trash on job sites.

Another gurgling complaint of his empty stomach fueled Jasper's desperate thoughts.

_I could go back. I could beg and plead for anything, any job at all. _

Pride had abandoned him along with Alice and the last of the cash. Hunger, pain, survival instincts were now driving the wheel, and Jasper came to the decision that getting out of this pit was worth groveling and pleading.

Grimacing through the pain, Jasper made himself stand and start to move to the mouth of the alleyway, one step closer to home.

**A/N: Someone previously commented that they hoped I would continue writing Jasper stories, and I found that I did have another tale to place him in. This time our journey is going to follow him as he tries to come back home once life has left him broken, hence the title, "Beyond Brokenness." **

**True to my previous writing, I'm not an Alice fan and I tend not to write her in a positive light. She'll be a villain in this piece as well. **

**This is just the beginning, and I welcome feedback, thoughts, compliments and complaints. - Ginja**


	2. Chapter 2: Reunion

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight complete with a set of over-sized canines and sparkly blood suckers. Me? Just borrowing names and basic structure to carry out an all human tale of everyday life.**

_*** Chapter 2: Reunion ***_

The sky was a cool, crisp blue, the grass a brilliant shade of green, and the man standing on the front doorstep a nervous mess as he stood there, staring at the solid oak door and making no move to apply his hand to its surface, alerting the people within the home to his presence. His breathing was shallow as Jasper stood there, staring at the patterned cement of the stairs leading up to the entrance, bony shoulders going up and down in a quick staccato of movement. Heart racing, palms sweaty, and a brain that was conducting an internal argument as to whether this was a good idea meant that the young man standing in front of his father's home was on the verge of passing out.

_There's nowhere else for you to go, you've lost everything, you have no choice._

_ You're a fool if you think he'll take you back after you turned your back on this family._

_ You can beg him for forgiveness. He's always been kind to a person in need; surely he would treat his son no differently._

_ Son? Ha, ha, ha. Who would want to call you their "son?" No one is so desperate that they would want a pathetic loser as their child. _

Back and forth it went, hopelessness warred with shame, and the weight of the battle pushed all courage the man possessed into blackness, suffocating it, willing it to die.

Jasper gasped in a ragged breath and with one final push, he stabbed the doorbell before returning to his defeated stance.

Inside the home, the conversation was sprinkled with laughter as family and friends prepared to share a Sunday afternoon meal. Bella, Rosalie, and Esme were bringing various serving plates of food into the dining room. Emmett and Edward were watching a game on the flat screen in the living room, while Carlisle and Alex conversed on the back porch while monitoring the chicken on the grill.

The women had separated, Esme to retrieve the elder family members and the main dish for lunch, while Bella and Rosalie attempted to sever the other men from their beloved game in hopes of eating before the sun went down. The doorbell interrupted Rosalie's threat to dump her glass of iced tea on Emmett's head if he didn't get up off the couch. She left the hulking man sitting on the cushions with a nasty glare and a promise to return and make good on her words.

When Rose opened the door and saw the ragged man who resembled her long lost brother, the shock hit her like a punch to the gut and she dropped the cup she had been holding. Staring open mouthed and wordless at Jasper, she didn't move when the glass hit the tile floor and shattered, pieces scattering in every direction.

"Jasper? Is that you?"

Upon hearing the noise, Bella, Emmett and Edward came running to the front door, concern etched onto their faces. Emmett looked past Rosalie, seeing Jasper standing motionless on the front step and immediately went to her side, placing an arm around her shoulder and drawing her body into his for support. Bella had no idea who the homeless guy on the front porch was, but she was enraptured by the non-verbal exchange going on between him and Rose. Rose had silent tears running down her cheeks, trying to decide whether to allow her hands to reach out to this stranger or to put them back at her side. The man in question's gaze was on Rose's face for just a moment, his pain gauging lines into his features before looking down to the ground and refusing to meet her eyes any longer. Edward had exited the group, in search of a broom and the other member of Rose's family.

Quiet seconds passed before Alex arrived on the scene. He stopped for just a heartbeat, taking in the broken remnant of his child before he pushed past Rose and Emmett and embraced Jasper in a tight hug. Jasper remained unmoving until Alex released his grip and took a step back.

"Jasper? My God, son, what has happened to you?" Alex searched Jasper, taking in the dirty hair, blackened eye, ratty t-shirt under a threadbare flannel, jeans with holes in the knees and a pair of shoes with soles held in place by a duct tape wrap job.

Carlisle had followed his friend to the front door and whispered something in Esme's ear before she turned from the heart wrenching sight and disappeared into the house.

Breaking Alex's inspection, Carlisle extended a hand in Jasper's direction, "Jasper, why don't you come inside and let me take a look at that cut? Bella, Esme's gone to get my bag, but do you think you could help me out?"

"Of course, Carlisle," Bella replied, and Jasper broke his stagnant pose to glance at the one person in the picture that he didn't know. The two locked eyes and Bella's intake of air came to a screeching halt. Those blue eyes were void and empty, as if no one was home, and the man standing in front of them was just a shell moving on autopilot. Memories came rushing forward and Bella recognized that look as the same one she used to wear when she bothered to look in a mirror.

Jasper blinked and looked back down to the floor, following Carlisle's guidance, as the man pulled him into the house and down the hall towards the library. Emmett pulled his wife towards the living room, and Edward continued to sweep up broken pieces on the floor. Esme returned to the foyer and handed the bag to Bella.

"So, that's Jasper…" Bella looked at Esme for confirmation.

"Yes, though I can't imagine what has left him looking like that," Esme's glance turned worriedly towards Alex who was closing the front door, the man stopping to rest his forehead on the wood frame, "Alex? Why don't you come with me?"

Alex turned around and Bella could see the tears that were trying to escape, "I need to go see if he's okay, Esme. Who did that to his face? What happened to him?"

Esme placed a hand on Alex's arm, "Carlisle will take care of him, and right now, I don't think Jasper needs an audience. Why don't we go check on Rose, make sure she didn't get any cuts when that glass broke."

Alex turned to stare down the hall Carlisle had taken with his child, "Yeah, yeah, okay…."

Bella watched them walk away, catching Edward's eyes as he turned from the retreating pair and shrugged as if to say he didn't have the answers either. Slowly, she made her way to the library, bag in hand.

Opening the door to the room, Bella saw that Carlisle had shifted the neck of the desk lamp so the light shone directly onto Jasper's face. The effect was that every dip and shadow beneath his eyes and hollow cheeks were magnified as Carlisle examined the split skin beneath Jasper's left eye.

"How many days since you were injured?" Carlisle questioned in his clinical manner as he turned Jasper's chin to allow the light to reach the wound.

"Um, I don't know…two or three?"

"Well, it isn't going to be fun cleaning out that cut. You've gotten some dirt and debris in it, leaving it open as long as you have. I can give you some local anesthetic, but we're going to have to wash it out thoroughly before I can stitch it closed, and we've passed the point where a scar is avoidable."

"I don't care what I look like. Just do what you need to do."

Jasper's voice was like muted sandpaper. Rough, almost like a man who had gone without water for days, and you had to strain to hear the words. He cooperated with Carlisle's inspection, but when the doctor turned from his patient, Bella watched his spine curve as he once again closed in on himself. She could tell that he was quite a bit taller than she, and having spent time with Alex and Rose, she knew he wouldn't have the same broad build as Emmett, but he was far too skinny at the moment. As if his body could hear her thoughts, Jasper's stomach growled loudly.

"I'm sure you could use some food, but I'd rather get this stitched up before you try putting something on an empty stomach, just in case you get a little nauseous," Carlisle pulled on gloves and Bella did the same before handing him a bottle of antiseptic wash for the cut.

The quiet voice replied, "It's fine."

They worked silently, Carlisle asking for one item or another as he stitched the torn edges of flesh together and Bella responding in tandem. She tried to focus on the process and not on the patient, not wanting to make him feel any more awkward than what he must already be suffering. Jasper in response barely flinched under the needle prick of Lidocaine Carlisle pushed into his skin, and continued to breathe slowly through his nose as Carlisle worked on his face.

When they had finished with the minor procedure, Bella busied herself by cleaning up the trash and replacing Carlisle's medical tools in his bag. Carlisle had moved on to giving the rest of Jasper's form an examination, and when he asked the man to remove his shirt, Bella took it as her cue to leave the room.

Silently making her way to the kitchen, she fixed a plate of food for the patient.

"Is he okay?"

Rosalie's question came from the doorway, and Bella looked up to see her and Emmett standing there, watching her place some chicken beside the mound of potato salad she had scooped onto the dish.

"Physically?" Bella asked in return, "He isn't the worst I've ever seen walk into the clinic, so yeah, he should heal in a few weeks. He could stand to put on a few pounds though. I don't know how many days it's been since he had a decent meal."  
"And, what about the rest, Bella? Did he say anything? That's not the brother that left this house," Rosalie's voice started to break as she thought about the stranger that had interrupted their afternoon.

Bella sighed and turned towards her best friend, "Rose, do you remember how you found me?"

Rosalie wiped her eyes and nodded.

"He looks just like me. He's broken, Rose, surely you can see that," Bella grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"He won't look at me. He won't look at any of us! Did you see when dad tried to hug him? He just stares at the ground."

"Right now, he's not your brother, Rose. Whatever happened when he left this house, it's made him someone else, and for now you need to accept that," Bella crossed the room to her friend and looked her in the eye, pleading, "Give him time, and give him the space he needs. I know you love him, but you cannot force his healing. Okay?"

Rosalie nodded her head and turned around into her husband's embrace. Emmett kissed the top of her head and looked overtop of his wife, meeting Bella's gaze. Giving her a nod to let his friend know that he could handle the upset woman in his arms, Bella left the kitchen, making her way back to the library.

Knocking on the door, Carlisle responded with an, "enter."

Bella came in to find Jasper sitting on the edge of the leather loveseat, his rigid frame refusing to sink into the comfort of the furniture. She placed the bottle of water on the coffee table in front of him along with the plate of food. Jasper's eyes glazed over with hunger, but he refrained from touching the food and looked between Carlisle and Bella as if he felt uncomfortable eating in front of them.

"Why don't I go find Alex and let him know what's going on?" Carlisle tried to send a small smile Jasper's direction, but he had once again returned to his customary downward gaze, "Bella, if you look in my bag, I think you'll find some Motrin. Why don't you get a couple of those for Jasper's pain? And Jasper, once you've gotten some of that food down, you can take those for when the local anesthetic wears off."

Bella made her way over to Carlisle's things, and Carlisle got up from his seat to leave the room.

"Thank you."

Bella turned towards the sound of Jasper's voice, but he wasn't looking towards Carlisle or her, merely chewing a bite of chicken, as if he hadn't said anything. Carlisle looked at Bella, both of them mystified by the gratitude, and the left the library.

Bella retrieved a small plastic pill cup and placed three of the Motrin Carlisle had recommended. Taking her time to place the medicine back in its pocket, she couldn't hear a single sound from Jasper's direction, but she turned to find he had already eaten half the food on the plate. He was cutting another bite of chicken, but stilled his hands when hers came into view next to the water bottle, setting down the little cup of pills. He nodded his head mutely in thanks.

Turning to leave, her exit was blocked when Alex pushed into the room, Carlisle behind him.

"So, Carlisle says you'll be fine," the man shifted from one leg to the other.

Jasper took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before speaking, "I was wondering if I could have a job?"

"I'm sorry? I couldn't hear you?"

Bella watched the man's Adam's apple bob in his throat as he looked at his father for a moment before fixing his eyes on a point over the man's shoulder, "I need a job. I'll do anything you need – cleaning, hauling, tool work. So, please, if you can spare me anything, I'd appreciate it."

Having finished his speech, he placed his hands on his knees and looked back at the half-cleared plate.

Alex appeared taken back by the request, "A job? Of course you can have a job, son, but Carlisle says you need rest. Your room is still like you left it…"  
"No!"

Bella had tried to blend in with the walls, unable to escape the exchange between father and child, but everyone's attention turned towards the man on the couch with his exclamation.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't live here," Jasper tried to explain.

"What? Why not?" Alex questioned.

Bella looked at Jasper and once again found a kindred spirit.

_He can't stay here because his shame won't let him, he doesn't think he's worth being in this house anymore._

"He can stay with me."

Everyone, including the one she had never seen in person before today, turned at the sound of her voice.

"He can stay in the garage behind my house. You know, it's got that futon out there. It won't be any trouble, Alex," Bella continued trying to convince the older man, "Let me do this, please."

For a second she caught Jasper's eyes and thought she saw him sigh in relief.

"Alex, I think Bella's suggestion might work out best for everyone right now," Carlisle offered in support.

Alex looked back at his son, then to Carlisle, and finally back to Bella, "Are you sure? Jasper, you know you're welcome here."

"Please, sir, I just…"Jasper couldn't finish his sentence but shook his head in the negative.

"Why don't you go pack a bag of your clothes?" Carlisle suggested.

Jasper started to stand and Bella rushed over to grab his abandoned plates, looking for an excuse to grant her a ticket away from the tension that hung in the air. Jasper made his way to the door and she followed behind him. Carlisle laid a hand on his friend's shoulder while Alex watched Jasper leave the room, speechless.

Making her way into the kitchen, Bella packed some more food into Tupperware containers, knowing that it might be best if she allow Jasper the retreat from his family that he wanted. Everyone had experienced enough for one afternoon. Esme joined her efforts and placed a few slices of cake onto a plate that she covered in plastic.

Retrieving a bag to carry the food from under the counter, she turned to Bella, "Are you sure?"

Bella smiled at the motherly concern, "Yes, I'm sure. I'll call one of you if he becomes a problem, though I think he's so weak right now, it wouldn't take much effort for me to take him down, should he decide to attack."

Esme grabbed her in a hug and Bella returned the gesture, letting some of the day's stress flow from her muscles.

Making her way to the front door, Bella stopped in the living room to plant a kiss on Rose's cheek before promising to call her the next day, "You take care of her, Em?"

Emmett nodded and Bella went to the door, finding Jasper had already left the house and was standing out front on the walk with a duffel bag in his hand. She walked past him, not bothering to stop and called over her shoulder, "It's the red truck."

Jasper followed, stepping in front of Bella in time to open her driver's side door. Bella looked quizzically at him, but found he was staring at the trees. Rolling her eyes, she climbed in while he threw his bag in the back and settled into the passenger seat.

Not surprisingly, the drive home was silent except for the radio. Bella pulled into her the driveway of her little home, stopping the truck in front of the detached garage. She left Jasper to gather his things and made her way into the house, stepping back outside after she had placed the food on the counter.

"The shower is the first door on the left down the hall," Bella explained, "You'll find towels and whatever else you need in the closet."

"I'm fine."

Bella sighed, "Well that's going to get old. You may be many things, Mr. Hale, but fine is not one of them. And hate to burst your bubble, but you stink. Your family may have been nice enough not to mention it, but it was a chore sharing that truck with you."  
Blue eyes flashed hot for a moment and nostrils flared before Jasper replied, "Fine."

Bella chuckled, "Well, well, you might have some fight left in you after all. Anyhow, futon's in the garage. You'll find some shelves where you can put your things, but I don't have a proper dresser. Help yourself to the stuff in the kitchen, if you can't find something, just ask. There are plenty of books to read in the living room, if you're looking for something to do. I don't have cable or satellite, as I tend to stick with music. My studio is the first door on the right, across from the bathroom, and my bedroom is just past that. The house is small, but I think we can manage sharing space for however long you need. I'll grab some blankets and pillows for you while you shower."

Bella turned and went back inside, leaving Jasper in the driveway. The blonde looked around the property, taking in the tree line along the back with a small path that led into the woods. He looked up at the sky and inhaled, wincing as the skin on his face protested the movement. His stomach was still hungry for more, but the acidic ache that he had carried for days had disappeared. The adrenaline that had fueled the afternoon's events vacated his body and he was left with wobbly legs and a feeling of relief that seeing his family again was over. Continuing to stand there and just breathe as the sun started to make its descent, Bella watched him from the kitchen window.

Jasper made his way into the garage and dropped his bag onto the wooden framed couch that was now his bed. There was a little radio on one of the shelves and some buckets of paint. A midnight blue motorcycle was parked in the corner and a free standing metal tool box was perched against the wall beside it.

He had no clue who this woman was as she wasn't around when he had left town, but she seemed rather close to his family. He wondered just what relationship ties were there, and finally decided that she must be Emmett's brother Edward's girlfriend. Honestly, he was surprised that Edward hadn't voiced his protest when Bella? _(Was that her name? That sounded right, didn't it?) _Anyhow, why hadn't Edward spoken up and offered his house instead? Maybe they had just recently started dating and it wasn't serious. She seemed comfortable working alongside Carlisle, so maybe she was a nurse at his office.

Grabbing clean clothes, Jasper made his way to the backdoor and knocked.

Bella was placing something in the fridge, "It's open and this is your house now, so, no need to knock."

Jasper nodded and moved past her to the bathroom to wash the "stink" off his skin. The hot water was heavenly and long after he had washed his hair and scrubbed the dirt from his body, he just stood there and let the drops pound into his muscles, steam filling the room.

Freshly clothed and hair wet, he made his way back into the kitchen to find a plate with a large slice of cake and a glass of milk beside it. Bella was nowhere to be seen but he could hear music coming from the hallway, so Jasper quickly devoured the chocolate frosted sweetness like a ravenous wolf. Taking the time to wash his dishes, he placed them in the drying rack before moving into the living room. One wall was completely occupied with rows and rows of books.

Romance, science fiction, historical fiction, art books, books on various foreign destinations, even a few children's books filled the shelves. He stopped in front of several titles that were related to the civil war and read the back covers of each before deciding on one.

The house had grown darker with the setting of the sun, and a light from the hallway caught his eye. Walking towards it, the music grew louder as he came to an open doorway and he quickly peeked around the frame. Bella had her back to him, hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, wearing slouchy jeans and a black tank top. He watched her mix paint with the brush in her hand as she applied line after line to the canvas in front of her. Capturing his attention were the frilled lines of a tattoo that barely touched the base of her neck and continued down into her shirt, and also stretched part of the way down her exposed arm.

_Tattooed girl with a motorcycle that spends her Sunday afternoons with the very proper Cullen and Hale family, what a mystery indeed._

He cleared his throat to let her know he was there, and she jumped slightly but turned to face him.

"Emmett called while you were in the shower," Bella explained, "You'll be working on his crew, so the boys will be by to pick you up in the morning at 7:00. I won't be here, but I've left you an alarm clock by the back door that you can use while you're here. It's next to the pack of cigarettes. You can help yourself to those as well."

"Thanks, but I don't smoke."

Bella cocked her head to one side, before remarking, "Some of that stink you brought with you was only found at the bottom of the bottle. Now, I'm not going to assume you have some sort of drinking problem, but you won't find anything in my cabinets and you're sitting in a dry county. No late night runs to the corner gas station."

Jasper started to bristle from her accusations. They might be true, but she didn't know him, and she sure as hell didn't have the right to label him with a drinking habit.

Bella brushed off his negative posture and continued, "Look, all I'm saying is, some nights I can't sleep. My thoughts wreak havoc and have an all night rave in my head. So, I sit out under the stars and have a smoke until I can think straight again. Not your thing? Don't smoke them."

She turned from the man in her doorway, returning her attention to the mixture of blues and purples that had been her focus prior to his interruption. Jasper took that as her way of saying 'good night' and made his way back out to the garage, stopping by the door to grab the clock and snort at the red pack of smokes laying beside it.

The futon had been made up with blankets and a couple of pillows, and a lamp had found its way into the mix as well. Looking for a plug for the clock, he happened upon a bottle of water and a container of Motrin that his hostess must have thought he would need. Turning on the light and settling down with his book, Jasper found his thoughts would drift to his family and the short-lived reunion earlier in the day, but also to the brunette who was now not only a nurse biker chic, but an artist as well.

**A/N: Always interesting when I start a chapter and begin to panic that it will be too short, and then it just keeps getting longer and longer as I type. I think I could have added even more to this, but I cut myself off. **

**Thanks for you fledgling followers of BB. I love getting little emails notices with your names, and I'm thankful to have you along for the ride! - Ginja**


	3. Chapter 3: A Little TLC

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

_*** Chapter 3: A Little TLC ***_

Sometimes exhaustion is a blessing.

To be so tired that your brain has no choice but to cave under the weight of heavy eyelids is a gift that puts the replay of every bad decision on hold and allows you a moment's rest from the burden of constant regret. Lying on a mattress, not a scrap of cardboard in an alley or behind a bush in the park, surrounded by four walls that promised safety from the outside world, Jasper gave in to the weariness held captive in his bones and drifted to sleep within minutes of closing his eyes. The demons would wait to launch a new attack another night, but for one night, he slept unburdened.

The sky was barely shedding its velvet blackness in exchange for a pastel cloak when the alarm started to ring on the table beside Jasper's head. After smacking it into silence, natural instinct kicked in and Jasper went to wipe the sleep from his eyes before forcing them open, but was met with instant pain when his palm tugged at the fresh stitches from the day before. Gritting his teeth, he sat up only to find that every muscle protested the action and every inch of his body seemed to ache.

Turning on the bedside lamp, his movements were slow and purposeful as Jasper dragged himself over to his duffle to remove jeans and a white tank along with a red flannel. He pulled clothing over bruised skin and ended with a pair of worn leather work boots that had still been in his closet from the many hours he had spent on various worksites in the past with his father's company. Tossing a couple of pain pills into his mouth, Jasper decided that he would risk the possibility of waking Bella up before the sun in hopes of finding a cup of coffee in the kitchen.

Surprisingly, the house was empty and his landlord was nowhere to be found. Her truck was missing, but the back door was unlocked. A pot of coffee, warm and welcoming, sat on the counter and it didn't take many tries for Jasper to locate a mug and fill it to the brim, taking a long drink of the caffeine-laced beverage before wandering down the darkened hallway. He found the door to her room open and the bed a twisted mess of blankets and sheets.

He peeked in her art studio to examine the piece she had been working on the night before. The canvas was a muted gray and upon closer look it appeared that beneath the paint were layers of pages from a book. Splatters of white speckled the background and a crimson flower spread its petals from the bottom of the painting, reaching towards the top of the frame. The image contained messy strokes of every shade of red the artist was able to get her hands on, vibrant color trying to push against the background, straining to be noticed. He stared at the work wondering if she was the flower trying to live, blood trying to rush beneath skin in a world that seemed to be cold and without color.

Making his way back through the quiet home into the kitchen, Jasper placed his empty cup in the sink next to another empty mug. He quickly washed them both and placed them in the drying rack, looking around for a clock to tell him what time it was. Noting the hour on the microwave, he realized Emmett would be there any minute to pick him up.

On the table was a piece of paper and a key on what appeared to be a long black shoelace. Picking up the paper, Jasper read:

_J-_

_Most days, I'll be out of here before you get up. Hopefully the truck didn't interrupt your sleep. Here's a key to the house, please lock up before you go. If you need to reach me, my cell is 526-348-9456. Have a good first day on the job!_

_-B_

Knowing he didn't have a keychain to put the key on, he tied the string around his neck and tucked the key under his tank. He folded the note and slid it into his wallet as he didn't have a cell phone that he could program her number into. Headlights flashed on the garage door and Jasper locked the back door as he left Bella's house and climbed into the back seat of Emmett's extended cab pick-up that was already housing several of the other crew members.

Feeling the truck come to a halt, Jasper opened his eyes to take in the fact that the group hadn't stopped at a building site, but they were parked in front of the local diner. The rest of the group started to exit the vehicle and Jasper decided he would just continue his cat nap in the truck, but Emmett had other plans.

Yanking open the door and catching Jasper before he fell out, Emmett said, "Come on, man, let's get some breakfast. You won't make it to lunch on an empty stomach."

Emmett didn't wait for his brother-in-law to agree or disagree, but merely turned around and headed inside with the rest of the group. Jasper huffed his irritation at being ordered around like a child before following.

The diner was already starting to do a steady amount of business as early morning, every day blue collar workers stopped in to get a bite before dispersing to the local factories and work places. The construction crew took up a long table in the back, and the boys turned over their coffee mugs in anticipation of a fill up. Jasper had barely made his way into the last chair when a familiar voice came from behind.

"Morning, boys," Bella greeted, "Everyone want their usual?"

'Yes m'am' echoed around him as Bella filled the waiting cups with liquid caffeine. She filled Jasper's cup before asking, "Do you need a menu, J?"

He stared at the woman beside him, "Is there _anywhere_ in this town that I'm going to go that you won't be?"

Bella smiled politely, "Well someone's charming first thing in the morning."

"Hey, man," the man across the table cracked a smile and joked, "Be nice or she'll poison your food, and you don't want to miss out on Bella's blueberry pancakes."

Bella leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her defender's cheek, "Thanks, Seth. Don't you worry; I can take care of him, though I do think he may give Paul a run for his money at being the grouchiest member of the team." She winked at Jasper before moving on to Emmett at the head of the table.

"Rosalie has her ultrasound this afternoon?"

"She sure does! I keep begging her to let me find out if it's a boy or girl, Bells, but she won't cave," Emmett made a prayerful hand gesture and pleaded, "Please, talk some sense into her, Bella, make her change her mind."

Bella giggled at the man and arched an eyebrow, "Seriously, Em? You think _I _could change the unmovable Rosalie Hale? I'd have better luck building one of your houses with just my own two hands."

She left the group laughing as she made her way onto the next table for refills. Jasper sat there shocked. _Ultrasound? Baby? His sister was pregnant?_ Conversation continued around the table, idle talk about sports while Emmett discussed the day's projects with his right hand man, Paul. Jasper chose not to participate, but continued to sip his coffee.

He watched Bella visit one table after the other, always with coffee pot in hand and a friendly smile on her face. The long brown hair from the day before was twisted into a bun at the nape of neck, and she was simply dressed in a faded green t-shirt and soft denim that hugged curvy hips. Little turquoise studs sparked from her ears and a thin chain with a small brass feather hung from the shell of her right ear. A wide leather strap and a few bangles circled her left wrist, but her hands were free of rings and nail polish. She was like a bohemian fairy, and even the sleepiest customer seemed to perk up with her words of greeting, like she was a splash of sunshine after a rain shower. It seemed everyone knew Bella, but Jasper couldn't recall a single memory of her in all the years he had spent growing up in this small town.

Exiting the kitchen with a large tray perched on her shoulder, Bella made her way through the group, depositing plates of bacon and eggs, toast and hashbrowns before the men. Stopping beside Jasper, she placed a mound of pancakes in front of him with an order of sausage links on the side.

"But, I didn't…" Jasper began.

"_**Eat.**_" Bella moved on without waiting for his argument, and Jasper shot her a disgruntled glare as he picked up his fork and knife and cut into the stack before drizzling warm syrup across the top. He popped the first bite into his mouth and immediately closed his eyes as butter, syrup, fluffy batter and soft blueberries danced across his tongue.

_Damn, that's delicious._

Across from him, Seth laughed at Jasper's reaction, "Didn't I tell you? Are those not the best pancakes you've ever eaten? It's a good thing we spend our days working off everything that girl feeds us, or we'd all be big as houses. Well Em is as big as house, but you just can't turn down Bella's food."

Jasper grunted his agreement and continued to plow through the food on his plate, scooping up any last drops of syrup with his sausage.

The group finished their food and immediately started to get up from the table. Jasper noticed that no one threw any money down, thinking it wasn't like he had anything to chip in anyhow. Seth caught his questioning look and explained that the company had a running tab with the diner and most days the guys stopped in to grab a bite before starting their day.

"Helps foster team unity or something," Seth laughed and rolled his eyes, "But hey, I'm not complaining, the food's good and we're all friends here."

Bella spotted them leaving and walked over to say something to Emmett before the giant placed a kiss on her cheek. Paul nodded without saying a word and the other guys gave a few quick thank you's.

"Bella, sweetheart, marry me, please?" Seth batted his eyelashes adoringly while he proposed.

"Seth, not only are you just like some annoying kid brother, but I know you only love me for my cooking and I will take nothing less than a man who wants the whole package," she hip checked him as he walked past.

Jasper watched the interchange before Bella turned her eyes towards him, "Did you put something on those stitches this morning?"

"Huh? What?" Jasper touched the area under his eye.

Bella tilted her head, standing on her toes to take a closer look at his wound, "Have a seat, I'll grab something from the back."

"Emmett's waiting, I gotta go," Jasper explained.

Bella called over her shoulder, "Seth, tell Em I have to take care of Jasper's stitches and he'll be right out."

"Yes, m'am."

"Now, wait a minute, you aren't my mother or my boss…"Jasper had had just enough of everyone this morning.

"Look Mr. Hard Head, your skin is dry and those stitches are going to start to pull which will be irritating as hell and leave a scar, not to mention, you're getting ready to go slave in the sun and the dirt, and we don't want that getting infected, so sit your ass down and let me get something to put on it."

Seth had stopped midway out the door to watch the exchange. Jasper's nostrils were flaring a little as he stared daggers at the brunette, and Bella had placed her fists on her hips and was returning his glare with full force. The two continued to stare at each other, neither bending until Jasper finally rolled his eyes and muttered, "Fine." Seth started to snicker, but Jasper quickly gave him a look meant to kill and Seth held his hands up in apology before walking out to the truck.

He took a seat on one of the counter stools and Bella returned to his side with a tube of cream and a q-tip.

Leaning over his face, Bella started to dab at the stitches before asking, "You bring some Motrin with you to get you through the day?"

"You know, you're a pest."

"And you're a stubborn ass. Glad we've had our exchange of obvious statements this morning," Bella placed the cap back on the tube, examined her handiwork and stood back up.

Jasper started to make his way to the door.

"Jasper?"

He turned as she pushed a cylinder of extra strength pain medication into his hand, "Have a lovely day."

Turning around and making her way back to the kitchen, Jasper watched her hips sway as she left and stuffed the pills into his pocket before heading outside.

Jasper's skin was salty with sweat and smeared with dirt as he exited the truck, grabbing his shirt that was crumpled into a ball on the seat next to him. Emmett had dropped him off last.

"Good job today, man. See you in the morning," Emmett held a fist out to the man in the passenger seat.

Jasper rolled his eyes but bumped the offered fist and jumped out of the cab, "Yeah, tomorrow."

He made his way towards the garage as Bella poked her head out the back door to wave to Emmett and called towards her housemate, "Dinner in fifteen!"

Jasper had given up trying to argue with the woman and merely nodded his head, before going into the garage and gathering some clean clothes.

Bella admired the lean muscles that stretched across his shoulders and tan arms that had a light coloring of blonde arms. He could still use a few more pounds on his frame, but the man had inherited the Hale good looks and mesmerizing blue eyes. She head checked herself for entertaining thoughts of Jasper in that way, and mentally gave herself a reminder that the man was in no position to start a relationship at the moment. He just needed a safe place to land for now. She returned to her cooking.

Jasper finished his shower and threw a black t-shirt on over his faded grey sweats. He didn't bother throwing on shoes, but padded barefoot through the house to take his dirty clothes out to the garage.

"Just drop the clothes outside the door. Dinner's ready. What would you like to drink? Iced tea? Milk? Water?" Bella had her back turned to him and was retrieving glasses from the cabinet.

The kitchen smelled like home-cooked heaven and Jasper's stomach rumbled in response, "Tea's good."

He dropped the clothes on the back porch next to his dirt caked boots he'd removed before coming in earlier and returned to the kitchen table to take a seat at one of the empty plates. He watched with interest as Bella placed the glass of tea beside his plate before taking a seat for herself and bowing her head to say a silent prayer.

She looked up at him and said, "Dig in."

Jasper placed a large mound of mashed potatoes next to a slice of meatloaf that had a thick layer of ketchup-type sauce on top, grabbed a biscuit and finished the plate with a helping of green beans.

"I figured you could use some comfort food that might stick to your ribs"

Jasper finished chewing the food in his mouth before answering, "You know, I don't need a nurse or a mother or a babysitter. I'm quite capable of surviving on my own."

Bella sighed before putting her fork down, "Capable of surviving, huh? Yeah, I suppose that's one way of putting it, you were surviving out there on the streets…"

Jasper's shoulders tensed with her comment and he concentrated on the food on his plate.

"Look, I know I'm bossy and you might not like me watching over you like I have been. I get it, I've been there, just trying to keep to yourself and not get involved with anyone else. But, what could it hurt, right? How about, just for a little while, you let me do a few nice things for you. You drop the defenses, concentrate on healing from those injuries, and humor me and my need to smother you, please?"

Jasper sighed before blue eyes looked up to find honest brown ones that were asking him to agree, "Do I have a choice? Does anyone not give you your way?"

"Yeah, my dad," Bella snorted, "He lays down the law and doesn't budge, literally."

"Your dad?"

"Charlie Swan, I think you two may know each other."

"Wait, your Chief Swan's daughter?" Jasper questioned, "How have we never met?"

"You were already out of school when I showed up from living with my mom in Phoenix. I kept to myself mostly, and Rosalie and I didn't become friends till after you left," Bella explained.

Jasper whistled, "Wow, your dad is the chief of police. He must love me living here."

"Given your past encounters, he advised me against it, but I get my stubborn streak from him and I won the stand-off this time," Bella smiled, "Not to mention, I am an adult, capable of making my own decisions."

They continued to eat while Jasper mulled over this little bit of information she shared. He stopped eating, staring across the table, and Bella looked at him in askance. "What?"

"Um, I heard you talking to Emmett this morning…about my sister…and…uh, I was wondering…anyways, she's pregnant?"  
Bella grinned brightly, "She is. You probably didn't notice yesterday in all the chaos, but she's about 5 months along now."

"That's good?"

Jasper hated that he had to question an almost stranger about his little sister's life.

"Oh, yeah, they're both super excited. Rosalie had a little trouble getting pregnant at first, but the specialist was able to help them out, and everything seems to be going well. Though, if you ask Emmett, he'll complain to you about Rose not giving in to him needing to know the sex of the baby before he or she gets here," Bella rambled on, "Rose insists on having the fun of it being a surprise. I'm sure she's excited that the little one will now have an uncle in the picture as well."

Jasper looked back at his plate, pushing the almost empty disc away from him, "Yeah, I don't know about that."

Bella took a risk and reached over to place her hand on Jasper's. He tensed from the contact but didn't pull away and she whispered, "Hey, she's missed you. I'm sure she's happy you're home. Just give them a chance."

"Give them a chance?" Jasper jerked his hand away and got up to put clear his plate, "I'm the one who needs a chance, not them. And they have no reason to give it to me."

"But, they will."  
"Well, I needed food and place to sleep. I'm not going to ask for anything more

than that."

"You won't have to ask for anything else. They'll give it to you anyways."

Jasper stood at the sink, staring out the kitchen window, "I just…I mean…I just can't right now."

"I know."

Jasper looked at Bella and saw that she did seem to understand, but he wasn't much into share time anymore tonight. He didn't say anything, but exited the kitchen and headed back to the garage.

Bella sat at the table and sighed, wondering if she was crazy to try with Jasper or if this was some desperate attempt to repay the universe for what she'd received from others. Either way, she let him go, knowing she couldn't push anymore tonight and cleared away the remains of dinner, giving Jasper the space he was looking for.

_ Rosalie was standing next to Emmett in the living room of his family home and Jasper watched his dad cross the room to stop and coo at the small bundle wrapped in his sister's arms. Rosalie smiled at the baby and up at her dad._

_ Jasper took two steps towards them before Rosalie looked up and saw him coming closer. Panic crossed her features and she pulled the baby inward towards her breast as Emmett huddled his wife into the shelter of strong arms._

_ His dad turned around and took a defensive stance in front of the couple, "This is for family only. You don't belong here."_

_ Jasper felt his eyes start to tear and stammered out, "I'm sorry…I just thought.."_

_ His dad laughed cruelly, "You thought what? We'd take you back in?"_

_ Jasper felt sharp points dig into his arm and looked down to see blood red fingernails digging into his skin. _

_Alice cackled in his ear, pulling him away, "They're not your family anymore, Jasper. No one is."_

Waking up with a gasp, Jasper sat up in the bed, t-shirt sticking to his sweaty frame. His heart was racing and he could feel the tracks of tears that had made their way through his dream and down the side of his face.

He stood up and paced the room before stepping outside into the cool night air. Stripping off the damp shirt, he tossed it back inside and stood in the moonlight trying to slow down his breathing. He glanced over at the chairs sitting on Bella's back porch. On a little table was a pack of cigarettes and a lighter along with jar that seemed to be a makeshift ashtray. He glanced at the back windows along the house and didn't see any lights on.

He had no idea what time it was, but took a seat in the chair and picked up the small red box. Removing one of the cigarettes, he noticed his hand was shaking as he held up the lighter.

_God, I could use a shot of something right about now._

Lighting the end, Jasper inhaled and the sharp tang of smoke filled his mouth and scraped down his throat. The unfamiliar burn wasn't altogether unwelcome as it took his mind off the nightmare. He stared at the stars, refusing to close his eyes lest recent images come back to haunt him. Again and again, he'd bring the paper wrapped tobacco up for a drag until he could feel the heat of the burning embers start to near his fingers. He stubbed the little remnant out and put it in the jar noticing one crushed butt already sitting at the bottom. Looking back in the pack, he noticed now that two cigarettes were missing.

One for him and one for Bella?

He'd never seen her smoke before now and whenever she was close to him, he didn't pick up the remnants of tobacco smoke on her. In fact, she smelled a little like vanilla swirled with some sort of spice. It was a warm, comforting smell.

_Vanilla swirled with spice? Where the hell did that come from?_

Shaking his head, he left the pack where it lay on the table and made his way back to his room, praying that even if he wasn't able to get any more sleep that night, he wouldn't have anymore visits from the demons in his mind either.

**A/N: Just some everyday life with a little tug and pull between B &amp; J. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for those of you who've left me a sweet word or two and those of you who've favorited BB. Every day is better with a little love! - Ginja**


	4. Chapter 4: She Is A Refuge

**Disclaimer: Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's creation. I gain nothing from my writing other than experience and the chance to do what I love.**

_*** Chapter 4 – She Is A Refuge ***_

Thursday morning came clothed in sheets of rain that tap danced across the roof of the garage. When the alarm wailed its shrill intrusion, Jasper knocked it into silence and rubbed his stubbled face deeper into the pillow case searching for a few more moments of sleep. The company phone that Emmett had given him buzzed, and Jasper grabbed it, blinking at the glowing face until the blurry letters came into focus. He had one text message from his brother-in-law.

_E: Rain won't be letting up anytime soon, so we're shut down for the day. If Saturday's nice, we'll try and make up some of the lost hours from today._

_ J: Got it_

Jasper stretched his arms over his head and scratched at the happy trail that drifted down the center of his abdomen. He could easily drift back to sleep, but was worried that Bella had the coffee waiting and he really didn't want the contents to scald the bottom of the carafe. She had continued making dinner for him each evening, and her conversation bounced from music to books to places he'd like to travel, but she was very respectful to keep a comfortable distance from the past and his family.

Not bothering to thrown on a shirt, Jasper made a mad dash to the back door of the house. The cold morning downpour bounced of his skin like an icy shower and he was wide awake when he stepped into the kitchen only to find the coffee pot dormant and empty. Peeking out the window over the sink, he realized that in his hurry to get out of the weather, he failed to notice that Bella's truck was still in the drive.

Taking a few silent steps down the hallway, Jasper found that no other lights were on in the house. He continued his path, the subdued grey light of the morning leaking into the house through the windows. Finding Bella's door open, he peeked into her room.

Bella was sprawled diagonally across the bed, sheets strewn haphazardly across her legs. With one hand tucked under her pillow, her half-buried face remained still and peaceful, lips slightly pouting as she slept. Long lashes rested on cheek bones that were sprinkled with freckles. Her hair was a riot of tangled and twisted strands and she was wearing a faded red t-shirt with a cracked and peeling Coca-Cola design. The shirt had ridden up on one side to reveal white boy shorts with little black polka dots and allowing his gaze to travel a little further, Jasper could see the tiniest line of ink peaking out from the shirt on her side. Jasper's fingers twitched to push the shirt further up, to reveal the design that was permanently emblazoned on her skin. Feeling somewhat like a creepy voyeur, he shifted his body slightly and made his way back towards the kitchen.

Deciding that the idea of returning to sleep was an impossibility, Jasper went about making a pot of coffee as quietly as he could manage. He watched rain drops make random patterns down the window pane while the background turned from dark steel to heather gray. Pouring a cup of fresh-brewed fuel, Jasper wandered into the living room and after pulling a book from the many Bella possessed, he settled onto the couch to read as the silent stillness of the morning hours wrapped around his frame. He drained his cup slowly and allowed his eyes to close, resting the book open on his lap, drifting into a shallow nap.

Bella woke up slowly, rubbing the late night hours of painting out her eyes. She glanced at the bedside clock – 8:30 – and inhaled slowly, listening to the rain fall outside. Wet weather meant that Emmett and his boys wouldn't be heading out today. Her ears reached out for sounds of movement in the house but were unable to locate anything other than the sound of her own breathing. Knowing that she needed to get going, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and grabbed a pair of soft yoga capris before heading to the bathroom.

Finished with her morning rituals and feeling hungry, Bella made her way to the pantry. Passing the living room, she was surprised to find Jasper's sleeping form on her couch, an oversized paperback open on his lap and empty coffee mug on the table. She took advantage of the moment to study him.

Jasper never really stopped moving. If he wasn't fidgeting with his hands, he was trying to figure out how to avoid the eyes of whoever was talking to him. Contrary to the party boy that Rosalie had described her older brother as, this Jasper was quiet, trying to fade into the background. He was considerate enough to thank Bella for every meal she prepared and to clean his coffee mugs and dinner dishes, but he didn't engage in any of the banter that the guys shared at the diner in the mornings. His lips would lift into a smile that wouldn't quite reach his eyes when someone said something humorous, and though she knew from Emmett that the guys respected Jasper's skill with tools and hard work, he remained like a black and white figure that had been taped onto a color photograph. It was there, but you could tell it really didn't belong.

This Jasper laying prone in her living room looked like a wounded angel. His hair was edging closer to brushing his shoulders, the honeyed tones of blonde and brown curling over his ears and falling into his eyes. His square jaw was covered with a shadow of darker hair that remained from the day before. Even in slumber, a crease was present between his eyebrows as if he was overwhelmed by thoughts that wouldn't cease plaguing his mind, even in sleep. She longed to reach out a fingertip and smooth out the lines, to run her fingers through his hair, across the bared planes of his chest. Sighing, she turned from the tempting distraction and went in search of something to eat.

Sitting at the kitchen table, spoon in hand, idly flipping through pages of a catalogue, Bella had just taken a bite of cereal when Jasper walked in. She mentally packed away the image of how his flannel sleep pants had slipped down on his hips an inch or so exposing more of the line of hair trailing towards the drawstring. She didn't try to strike up a conversation, but allowed him to move over to the cabinet and retrieve a bowl uninterrupted. He took the chair to her right and poured cereal into his bowl before covering it with milk.

Looking over at her with an arched eyebrow, Jasper questioned, "Cocoa Pebbles?"

"That would be what the box says."

"Where are the homemade muffins or waffles or omelet?" He further questioned taking a bite of the cold sugary flakes of puffed rice.

"Wait, what are you doing? You can't eat that yet! You have to let the milk soak in just the right amount. It's still crunchy!" Bella accused.

"Soggy cereal? No thanks."

She moved the box away from him, "If you can't eat it properly, you can't have any more."

He stared at her solemn expression, eyes accusing him of committing a cardinal sin and intentionally took a large bite of his breakfast, trying to make the most sound while chewing. In response, Bella gasped her displeasure and began using her own spoon to dunk the remaining cereal under the milk to speed the softening of the dish. Jasper swatted away her utensil and tried guarding his bowl with an arm while sticking another mouthful into his mouth. She dipped her spoon into the cocoa-colored milk of her own bowl before flinging some at him, a few speckles starting to run down his bare chest. Shocked, Jasper looked down at his biceps before looking at the female sitting beside him catching her grin break into laughter. He tried to summon annoyance at her action, but instead found himself laughing as well. When he broke into a "real" grin, Bella stopped her giggling, caught in the beauty of his face when he let go of the pain and actually found joy in a moment of his day. Mercy, he was like a delicious dish waiting to be enjoyed right there at the breakfast table. Jasper caught her look of admiration and busied himself with finishing his food.

"So, was the roof leaking in the garage?"

Jasper looked lost at the question, "What? No, it isn't leaking, why?"

"I just wondered how you ended up on my couch this morning."

"Oh, Em texted to say we wouldn't be working today and I couldn't get back to sleep so I came in search of coffee and dozed off I guess."

"Yes, tales of the ongoing wars between vampires and werewolves can be rather droll and boring," Bella teased, referring to the book he had been reading.

Jasper blushed slightly, "I just didn't want to go back out in the rain to get my book from the garage, so I just pulled something random from the shelf."

"Trashy supernatural romance, what a treat!"

"It's your book."

"Yes, and I probably highlighted all the hot and steamy parts to go back over and read when I'm all alone at night in case you wanted to skip forward to the good stuff" She wiggled her eyebrows in his direction causing him to clear his throat and blush further.

"Um, so, why are you home and not at the diner?" Jasper asked trying to steer the conversation away from "steamy" romance novels.

"It's Thursday." Bella offered as an explanation. Jasper continued to stare at her, waiting for the rest of the answer, "I don't work at the diner on Thursdays. I volunteer at the local clinic with Carlisle."

She glanced at the microwave clock, taking in that it was after 9, "In fact, I need to be leaving in about ten minutes. What are you up to today?"

"I haven't a clue. Without work or a vehicle, I'm kind of stuck here. It sucks actually; I'm not exactly a fan of free time these days. That just leaves me with more time to think and I'd rather not."

Seeing Bella's almost empty bowl, Jasper grabbed it and his own, making his way over to the kitchen sink to wash the dishes and place them in the drainer. Bella frowned at the loss of good mood he had possessed just minutes before.

"You could come with me?"

Jasper turned around and leaned against the counter. Bella busied herself with her coffee mug, avoiding his half naked form that fit easily into some of the scenes in the book he had been reading in her house that morning.

"And do what?"

Bella shrugged, "I don't know, but the clinic can always use help. We'll find something for you to do. Just an option if you didn't want to stick around here."

Jasper thought for a moment, weighing the choice of interacting with strangers versus staying in an empty house with just himself and decided, "Let me go change."

Bella nodded thinking she would miss seeing the way his nipples had hardened in the cool kitchen air and wondering what they would feel like if she traced them with her tongue, as Jasper made his way back to the garage. Huffing out air that caused her bangs to flop on her forehead, she shook off the sexual current that was thrumming beneath her skin, reminding herself _again_ that anything physical between the two of them would be a bad idea. Changing into scrubs, she locked up the house finding Jasper already standing on the driver side of the truck, opening the door for her when approached the vehicle. She looked skeptically at the action, but he merely walked around the bed and climbed in the other side.

Bella took a final inventory of the medicine in the clinic's cabinet at the end of the day. She looked over to where Carlisle was speaking with Jasper, noting how the man had his arm around Jasper's shoulder and a smile on his face. Jasper was holding some tension in his frame, but he didn't shrug the older man's arm away. Progress was progress. She closed the cabinet door and locked it, placing the key in her pocket and making her way over to the pair.

Carlisle saw Bella walking their way and smiled, "Thanks for you hard work today, Bella. You did a great job calming down that last little guy."

"You're good with them," Jasper observed.

Bella looked over at him questioningly.

"Kids," Jasper explained, "You're very comfortable with them and they love you. I'm sure Rosalie and Emmett will be calling on you to baby-sit in the future."

Bella had a slightly pained look in her eyes for a second before nodding, "Thanks."

Jasper watched Carlisle take Bella's hand and give it a squeeze before turning back towards him, "Thanks for helping out today, Jasper. Anytime the clinic's open and you aren't on the job, we could use the volunteers."

"I just followed whatever orders this one gave," he answered tilting his head in Bella's direction.

"Well, Bella's essential to keeping the clinic running."  
"And with that, we are out of here," Bella pulled Jasper by the arm before another compliment could be given, "Night, Carlisle. Send Esme my love."

Sliding into the truck and putting her key in the ignition, Bella looked at Jasper, "I'm beat. How do you feel about pizza and quirky English detectives?"

"Exactly how do those two things fit together?"

"Well, we can stop by the parlor and pick up a pizza on the way home and then veg out in front of the TV to some Sherlock on Netflix," Bella explained.

"Sherlock? As in Holmes?"

"It's fabulous. You'll love it. You couldn't possibly not love it. It's against the laws of nature."

"Do I need any special instructions on how to eat my pizza?" Jasper teased.

Bella rolled her eyes, "No, it's pizza. Surely you can't screw that up like you did the cereal this morning."

Jasper snorted, "Who knew under the façade of the girl next door is some sort of cereal dictator?"

"Shut it, Jaz, or I'm not sharing any of my dinner," she threatened.

"Yes, m'am."

Bella pulled out of the lot, noting that he had tipped his head back and closed his eyes as she drove. He seemed to always be taking advantage of any moments when she was in control to rest, whether it was while she cooked and he sat on the back porch in the setting sunlight or stretched out on her couch. It was as if his body had been looking for a safe haven from the storm of life, and now that he'd found it, Jasper was trying to play catch up on all he'd missed while running on the streets. She smiled at the thought that some small part of him trusted her enough to let go and relax.

Bellies full of various meats and cheeses, Bella sprawled in her oversized chair, letting her legs dangle over the side, wrapped in a fuzzy cornflower blue blanket. Her hair was piled on her head in a messy bun and she had changed from scrubs back into her capris and a t-shirt that had some sort of scrolling floral design.

"Oh, oh, oh, here's come my favorite line!"

Jasper stared at her outburst, "How many times have you watched this?"

Bella met his eyes and replied guiltily, "A few…"

"What is a few? 3? 5?" Jasper questioned and when Bella sunk down in her chair, he continued, "10? Seriously, Bella?"

"Why must you pick on me? I told you I don't have cable, but I do have Netflix. This is one of my faves, that's why I shared it with you. And now, you've missed the line, so we have to go back!"

Jasper sighed as she fiddled with the remote, noticing her lazy posture and before he could question whether it was a good idea, he took her foot in his hand and started massaging the arch.

Bella's eyes closed and she let her head fall back against the side of the chair, "That is lovely. Make all the snide comments you'd like, just don't stop doing that."

"I figured after all the running you did today, hell everyday, you could use it."

"Where did you learn to do that? This is what heaven must feel like."

"I wasn't always a demon, you know. I used to be a decent person capable of doing nice things."

Bella sat up straight, pulling her foot from his hand with the movement, "No one said you were evil, Jasper, and no one here is questioning if you're a nice person or not. Mistakes are mistakes, we all have them and shame on anyone who tries to convince you they're perfect. We deal with the consequences, we move past them, but we don't let our mistakes chain us to the past."

Jasper grabbed her other foot and pulled it towards him forcing Bella to slide in her seat and started working his fingers into the sole, choosing to ignore or make a response to her last statement. Bella watched his careful guard fall back into place and turned back to the TV, starting the show again.

One more episode later and Bella started to yawn. She gathered up the empty plates and glasses while Jasper carried the pizza box out to the trash. He came back in to say goodnight and standing beside her as she washed the dishes, took them one-by-one to dry and put away.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"That statement I made earlier today about you being good with kids, did I miss something?"

Bella stopped moving for a moment before she finished washing the glass in her hands and handing it to his waiting grasp. She sighed as she watched the water swirl down the drain in the sink.

"We've all got our stories, Jasper, even me. But, I'm not really up for sharing them tonight."

He looked at her shoulders that were curled slightly forward like she was trying to fold in on herself, "I can understand that."

Bella offered up a weak smile as she turned to face him, "I thought you probably could. Night."

He watched as she made her way out of the kitchen, pulling her hair out of the bun and letting it spill down her back, wondering how someone so kind could have a past that brought such sadness to her brown eyes.

**A/N: So, another chapter of J &amp; B inching a little closer together. If you happened to read my story "Lessons," you'll note that I'm not a fan of magical get togethers that discard reality for some fluffy, love at first sight, all problems forgotten relationship. I promise, I'm keeping these two together, but it won't happen in a span of a week. I'm in for the long haul. **

**Reviews are truly lovely, and make me feel a little less like I'm writing to an empty universe! Thank you to those who have dropped a kind word or two before now. **

**Xoxo - Ginja**


	5. Chapter 5: Let Me Take Care of You

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight and I make absolutely zero dollars and cents from this writing, but I do get a smile or two when people hit the "follow" button. **

_*** Chapter 5 – Let Me Take Care of You ***_

Saturday morning found Bella sitting across from Rosalie at the diner. Emmett and his crew had started out early for the job site, looking to make up time lost due to the rain, and Rosalie had taken advantage of the free time to catch up with her best friend.

"So, how are you feeling? Did the doctor have anything to say at your appointment?" Bella asked.

"Could you pass me the maple syrup?"

Bella watched in amusement as the usually sophisticated blonde grabbed the bottle from Bella's grasp and proceeded to drizzle the sticky sweetness over her pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs.

"Did you just put syrup on your _scrambled eggs_?"

Rosalie put the cap back on the bottle, licking a drop off the end of her finger before answering, "_What_? Why are you looking at me like that? It's delicious. You should try some. Here."

Bella put a hand up to block the incoming fork full of food, "No thanks, I'm good. Though I must express my concern that your unborn child may end up with cholesterol or diabetes before it's born. Would you like some fresh fruit or something?"

Rosalie placed a finger on her chin, thinking, "Do you think strawberries would taste good dipped in maple syrup?"

Bella chuckled before picking a slice of strawberry off of the top of her fruit, granola, and yogurt parfait and handing it to her friend, "Knock yourself out."

Rosalie ran the sliver through the pooled syrup next to her pancake stack and popped it in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully, "Yep. That's tasty. Can I get some strawberries for my pancakes?"

"Whatever the pregnant princess desires," Bella answered before making her way to the kitchen to retrieve a small bowl of the requested fruit.

Sitting down at the table again, Bella took a bite and watched Rosalie heap the berries on top of the mountain of food before digging in again. It seems the days of morning sickness that had plagued the female for months after the first trimester had passed. After shoving a forkful of food into her mouth, she turned to dig in her purse before pulling out an envelope and handing it to Bella.

"Here, pictures of the baby!"

Bella removed the sonogram photos, seeing tiny hands and feet in shades of black and white, and the distinct outline of a face in one.

Pointing to one of the prints, Bella asked, "Is this a pe-"

"Uh-uh, nope, no speculating," Rosalie looked down her nose at her friend, "You're as bad as Em. We are not finding out if this is a boy or girl, and I will not let you look at my pictures if you try figuring that out."

"Yes, m'am," Bella grinned, "But, I really think this one looks like…"  
The photos were immediately removed from Bella's hands, and she giggled at the huff Rose expressed while putting the pictures back in the envelope.

"Sorry, Rose, really, these are great. He or she looks like a happy, healthy bundle of joy."

Rose beamed, "The doctor said the heartbeat's good and I'm measuring right on time."

"How much longer?"

"Five weeks. He said they're satisfied with the weight I've gained this past month after having so much trouble with nausea," Rosalie explained.

Looking skeptically at her friend's plate, Bella remarked dryly, "I can't imagine how they could ever be concerned with how many calories you're taking in these days."

"Shut it, Swan."

Bella took an extended sip of coffee from her cup, winking at her friend.

Rosalie wistfully sighed, "I miss coffee."

"Hang in there, momma, pretty soon you'll be needing gallons to stay awake after middle of the night feedings."

"No, not until I'm done breast feeding."

"Sure you don't want to try de-caf?"  
"No, no, I've made it this long, I can hang in there. Who knows? Maybe I'll give it up all together."

Bella shuddered, "That is a sad, sad statement. Coffee is my friend."

Rosalie took a bite of syrupy coated sausage and chewed before looking at Bella curiously, "How is he?"

Bella took another drink before setting her mug down on the table.

She looked at a pair of blue eyes that matched the ones that occupied her dinner table each evening. Rose was chomping at the bit to wrap her brother in a big hug and invite him to dinner and Sunday outings with the family. She tried not to forget how difficult it was for her friend to give Jasper the space he needed at the moment.

It wasn't fair to have zero history with the man, but get to spend hours each day sharing life with him while he treated his family as almost strangers. Even though he worked with Emmett, Jasper would choose the chair farthest away from his brother-in-law when the group came into the diner and she knew he refused the man's invitations to have dinner at their house.

"He's good, I suppose. Um, he seems to have settled into the garage okay, and he eats dinner with me every night. I even got him to volunteer at the clinic when it was raining the other day"

"What do you talk about? Does he mention us? Did he tell you what happened with Alice? What he was doing before came back home? What happened to all the money dad gave him?" Rosalie rapid fired questions, picking up speed with each word.

Bella placed a calming hand on her friend, looking sincerely into her expectant eyes, "Rose, sweetie, slow down. I think this may be what he's trying to avoid right now. He doesn't mention much of anything serious other than he thinks he's somehow beyond forgiveness."

"That's ridiculous," Rose stated matter of factly, "He's my brother. I love him."

Bella smiled gently, "I know that. You know that. He doesn't accept that. It doesn't make sense to him."

"I don't know 'past' Jasper. I have no previous memories with him or expectations of how he used to be, and I don't compare him with someone I knew before. I'm like a new relationship, so we talk about mundane things – books we've read, music we like, get to know you stuff."

Bella continued with a grin, "He has impeccable manners, always cleaning up after himself and helping out. I've enjoyed having him around."

Rosalie put down her fork and appraised the woman sitting across from her, "Uh-huh….Bella Swan, you like him. You like-like him!"

"Don't be silly, Rose," Bella tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and spooned some yogurt into her mouth.

Arching a single eyebrow, Rosalie continued, "You don't fool me, Swan. You like my brother. It's all over your face, and I mean, literally, you're full on blushing."

"Oh, this is fabulous! Wait till I tell, Em! You can be our baby's godparents and then some day have babies of your own, and they'll grow up together and be best friends, and we could have the boys build us houses next door to each other…"

Bella shoved fingers in both her ears and closed her eyes, "Geesh, Rose, I am not listening to any of this! La la la la la…"

Rosalie stopped talking and waited for Bella to look at her again. When the brunette finally peeked, the mother-to-be broke into a face-splitting grin. Bella rolled her eyes.

"He's nice. What's not to like? Okay?"  
Rosalie giggled and took another bite, "Think he'll come to dinner Sunday?" she mouthed around her food.

"Honestly? No."

Rose sighed, "Can't you reason with him, convince him?"  
"Please don't put this on me. I'll invite him, but I am not going to try badgering him into coming. I know you're tired of hearing this, but you have to be patient."

"Fine," Rose tried to not allow the water rimming her eyes to escape, "I understand, Bella, I do. I just...just ask him, please?"

Bella hated seeing her friend so heart broken when she was so playful moments earlier, "Of course."

Bella did invite him.

Jasper said no.

They didn't talk about it anymore.

Days blended together and Bella had a mental catalogue of things she knew about Jasper. Like…

He didn't like peas. The night she fixed chicken potpie, he sat at the table and proceeded to pick them out one by one, making a small pile on the side of his plate.

"What?" was his question when she sat there staring at him.

"What do you have against peas?"

"What do you have against eating cocoa pebbles while they're still crispy?"

"Touché."

He had a sweet tooth and preferred pancakes for breakfast or some other baked good, added an extra spoonful of sugar to his sweet iced tea, and usually ended the night by devouring a giant bowl of whatever ice cream he could locate in the freezer while lounging on the couch reading. It was no wonder that his sister put syrup on her scrambled eggs, sugar addiction appeared to be a family trait.

She could tell when he hadn't slept well the night before by the bruised skin under his eyes and the missing cigarettes from the pack she kept by the door. On those days, he seemed to shrink a few inches, didn't say more than a handful of words at the dinner table, avoided sticking around after the dishes were done and she could hear the strains of some screamo band coming from the garage.

When he smiled, really smiled or laughed, he was almost heartbreakingly beautiful. She'd catch herself staring at him and smiling stupidly herself, caught up in his good mood. It was like he was a magnet that dragged you into sharing whatever emotion he was currently experiencing. If he was in one of those lows that had him shutting down and withdrawing, Bella found that she spent the rest of the evening with the window open so she could hear his music while she slashed frustrated strokes across canvas.

As time passed, the pair continued to twist and entwine with each other.

Friday morning, Jasper woke up just moments before the alarm. His body had adapted an internal alarm that made him aware of the morning's arrival before electronic tones could. He grabbed his clothes for the day and made his way over to the house, stopping when he realized that Bella's truck was still there.

Opening the back door, he listened for any sounds of movement and found none. The coffee pot was off and wracking his brain, Jasper couldn't remember Bella mentioning any plans for the day during dinner the night before.

He continued on to the bathroom, coming to a halt in the doorway. There was Bella, on the floor, curled in a ball, sweaty strands of hair sticking to the side of her neck and face. Dropping his clothes in a pile in the hallway, Jasper got down on all fours and reached a hand out to shake her shoulder.

"Bella?"

She mumbled something he couldn't understand while curling tighter in on herself. Laying his palm against the side of her face, he could feel the heat boiling under her skin.

"Bella? Bella, sweetheart, can you look at me?"

She opened unfocused eyes, taking in his face while moaning, "Everything hurts….just kill me now."

"How about we just get you in bed instead?" Jasper suggested, "I'll call Carlisle and see if he knows anything to help you."

Picking her up in his arms, Bella tucked her head under his chin and balled her hands in his t-shirt, trying to get as close to him as possible while she shivered. He crossed the threshold into her room and placed her on the bed. Bella's teeth started chattering as soon as she hit the cold sheets. Jasper quickly covered her with the blanket on her bed and ran down the hallway to get the throw on the back of the couch to add to the layers of insulation.

Grabbing Bella's phone from the charger on her nightstand, Jasper scrolled through her contacts until he found Carlisle's number. He punched send and waited for the man to answer while he paced back and forth across her room.

"Bella?"

"No, Carlisle, it's Jasper. I borrowed Bella's phone. Look, I think she's sick."

"Okay, son, what's going on?"

"From what I can tell, she's running a pretty high fever and she was complaining that 'everything hurts.'"

"Has she been vomiting?"

"Not since I've been awake, but I found her on the bathroom floor, so she may have."

"Could be the flu," Carlisle thought out loud, "Or a virus. I can stop by and take a swab, check and see how she's doing before I head into the office."

Jasper sighed in relief, "That'd be great, sir. I'm sure Bella would appreciate that."

"No need to call me 'sir,' Jasper. It's no problem," Carlisle continued, "Can you stay there with her till I get there?"

Jasper looked at the clock and saw that Em would be there any moment to pick him up, "Um...yeah, yeah, I can do that."

"I'll see you in a few."

Jasper hung up the phone and looked down at Bella who appeared to be sleeping, not that he could see much of her face above all the blankets. Outside, the sound of Emmett's truck pulling into the drive grabbed his attention and he made his way out.

Emmett took one look at Jasper before asking, "Is that what you're planning on wearing to work today?"

"No, I'm sorry, Em, but Bella's sick and I called Carlisle and he asked if I could stay with her till he got here. Maybe someone could come pick me up later?"

"Is she okay?"

"She's got a fever and she's just mumbling and Carlisle mentioned maybe it's flu…"

Emmett watched his brother-in-law ramble as worry etched into his features before stopping the man, "Jaz, it's okay. Take the day and take care of our girl. You can make up the hours later if you need the cash."

Jasper scratched at the back of his neck and took in Emmett's offer, "You sure?"

"No problem, man," Emmett put the truck in reverse, "Call me later and let me know how she's doing, yeah?"

"Sure."

Turning from the truck, Jasper made his way into the house and started a pot of coffee. He peeked into the fridge and spotted some 7-Up. Fixing a glass complete with bendy straw, he returned to Bella and sat on the side of her bed.

"Bella?"

She rolled her frame towards him and peeked over the quilt, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm staying home and looking after you. Carlisle's on his way, but I thought you might like something to drink."

Bella looked at the offered drink before propping herself up on one arm to take a small sip from the straw. Closing her eyes, she started to suck it down quickly.

"Hey, hey, hey, slow down there," Jasper pulled the drink back, "You don't want to get sick, well, technically, you are sick, but you don't want to make it worse."

Looking up at the blonde holding the cup, Bella fell back onto her pillow, "Leave me to die, please."

"No can do, sweetheart. I'm a little too fond of your cooking." Jasper chuckled at her miserable plea.

Bella opened her eyes wider and looked at him, "Did you just call me sweetheart?"

Jasper opened and closed his mouth like a fish before sputtering, "I think I'll just go check and see if Carlisle is here yet."

Carlisle pulled up a few moments later and Jasper let him in the back door before leading him to Bella's room. He made quick work of asking Bella about her symptoms and taking a nasal swab before tucking the woman back in and following Jasper back into the kitchen.

"Would you like some coffee, Carlisle?" Jasper asked the man as he poured a cup for himself.

"Thanks, but, I'll have to pass. I need to get to the office. I'll call and let you know if the test shows positive for flu. For now, I'm going to call in some Zofran for her nausea. Can you pick it up from the pharmacy in an hour or so? It will help her keep some fluids down. Try and keep her hydrated, monitor her fever, and let me know if she gets any worse. Once she's had the Zofran, you can give her some Motrin for the body aches. If you have any questions, just give me a call."

Jasper nodded in understanding and Carlisle smiled at the young man who looked a little like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You sure you're okay with staying with her? I could send Esme over…"  
Jasper shook his head, "No, I'm good. Emmett's giving me the day off. Pick up

the medicine, give her something to drink, Motrin, and rest. I think I've got it all."

Making a mental note to share the boy's heartfelt concern over Bella with Esme later to get her thoughts, Carlisle clapped Jasper on the back before leaving.

The door had been shut for just a moment when Jasper heard Bella crash into the bathroom to get rid of the soda he had given her before Carlisle's visit. Making his way to check on her, he found her leaning with one arm on the edge of the toilet, eyelids drooping shut.

"Come on, Bella, let's get you back to bed. I'll go pick up your medicine, and we'll see if we can't get some liquids to stay down."

Bella was fully aware of Jasper once again lifting her into his arms, only this time she put her head in her hands and started to cry.

"I don't want to throw up any more, and I don't want you to see me like this, and I feel so bad, and I can't stop crying."

"Sshhh…Bella, it's okay. You're just sick. Let's just try and get you better, okay?" He wiped the tears from under her eyes as she continued to sniffle before placing the blankets back over her.

"Do you need anything else?"

Bella shook her head in the negative and Jasper turned to leave the room, "Thank you for taking care of me."

Taking one more look at her pale face and tired eyes, Jasper answered, "Get some sleep."

By the end of the day, Jasper had Bella's fever down and she was able to stomach some Gatorade and crackers. He didn't bother returning to the garage that night but slept on the couch in case Bella needed something during the night.

Saturday he had moved her to the living room so she could watch movies with him, or listen to music while he warmed up soup that Esme had sent over and fixed them grilled cheese sandwiches. Esme had spent a few moments chatting with Bella till she started to get sleepy again, and the motherly female had made sure to stop and place a kiss on Jasper's cheek before she left. Jasper looked questioningly at the gesture, but Esme just smiled brightly at him before heading out the door.

Sunday, he situated her in bed with her sketch pad and pencils so she could draw while he cleaned up around the house.

She never had to ask for a refill in her glass, he always had her medicine ready, and he had patiently sat in the hallway while she showered, just in case she needed help.

Stopping by her room, load of towels in his arms he checked in on the patient, "Need anything?"

Looking up from her book, Bella smiled at his whiskered face that hadn't seen a razor since before she had gotten ill.

"Back rub?"

Laughing at his startled response to her answer, Bella continued, "Well you asked…"

Mentally arguing with himself over whether she was serious or not, Jasper crossed the room and sat down next to where she was propped up on a stack of pillows. Bella, seizing the opportunity, scooted down and wedged a pillow next to him before snuggling into his side, draping an arm over his lap. Looking down at the woman who appeared completely care free as she tucked into his body, he lifted a hand and gently placed it on her back before rubbing across the fabric of her threadbare t-shirt.

"Harder."

Jasper was busy ignoring the lack of a bra beneath said shirt when he responded, "What?"

"You have to rub harder, more like a massage. Otherwise, it almost tickles."

Taking his palm and pushing a little into her muscles, Bella sighed and closed her eyes.

"That feels fabulous," She grinned as he continued and he noticed some of the color had returned to her cheeks, "You've really been great these past few days, Jaz. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I'm sure you would have managed. I didn't really do much…"  
Bella interrupted his words, "Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Jasper looked at her face to see that she was still laying there with that goofy grin

on her face, eyes hidden behind long thick lashes that rested on her cheeks, and he smiled in response.

"Yes, M'am." 

**A/N: Aaaawwww…I'm a little smitten with this pair. Special thanks to those of you who were kind enough to give me the encouragement to allow these two go slow, and for your expressions of love for BB. I have to say, the outside interest in this story helps spark my creative thinking and gets me to typing. Thanks for the support! **

**Xoxo-Ginja**


	6. Chapter 6: Breaking

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

_*** Chapter 6 – Breaking ***_

"So, tomorrow…" Bella hesitantly broke the silence in the kitchen, looking over to where Jasper where was leaning back in one of the chairs at the table, long legs stretched out, slivers of tan skin showing through the various rips and tears in the denim fabric.

Jasper placed a hand on the page he had been reading and looked up to meet her timid gaze.

Bella continued, "Tomorrow we're having a baby shower for Rosalie."  
Jasper smirked at his roommate, "Well I figured you weren't making a cake that large just for me. Not to mention, little yellow ducks and bath-time bubbles isn't exactly a decorating choice I would have gone with, if I was honest."

Rolling her eyes, Bella snapped back, "You would have tried eating every bite of this cake without any second thoughts to the décor if I gave you the chance."  
"I don't know…"

Bella swiped a finger through an almost empty bowl of frosting that she had used to decorate the cake with and approached the doubting male. Holding her finger out to him, she offered, "Go ahead, taste it."

Jasper felt heat rise to his cheeks as he stared at Bella's offering, and as she took in the intense stare in his eyes, she started to shift nervously. He slowly leaned forward, lightly grabbing her wrist and pulled her hand to his mouth, letting his tongue slide along tip of her finger, tasting the mix of butter and sugar and vanilla. Bella's eyelids fluttered at the contact, and she chastised herself for not realizing that her innocent gesture at teasing him could be twisted into something that tugged at desire she hadn't experienced in a long time.

He moaned at the flavor, "Damn, Bella, that is delicious."

Feeling her cheeks flame red, Bella turned quickly from him and busied herself with running cold water over her hand and wrist, hoping maybe it would bring the shock to her system she needed to stop her head from spinning.

"You should probably hide the cake, now that I know just how good it is," he challenged.

Snorting, she turned towards him, "As if I'm not aware of your sugar fiend tendencies."

Moving towards the microwave, she removed a plate of 6 cupcakes. She took them over to her cake stand where Rosalie's adorable confectionary masterpiece was awaiting just one or two more finishing touches. Bella took the piping bag and quickly swirled frosting onto the top of the cupcakes with a twist of her wrist. She placed the plate of treats in front of Jasper, and he looked up at her in askance.

"They're yours. Go on, knock yourself out."

Ripping the wrapper off of the vanilla cake, Jasper immediately sank his teeth into one, devouring the thing in three bites. He jumped up from his seat and grabbed a glass from the cabinet before filling it up with ice-cold milk. Stopping by Bella's decorating station, he placed a kiss on her cheek.

"You spoil me."

Wanting nothing more than to hold onto the brief touch of his lips to her skin, Bella looked over at him and began to snicker.

"You've got a little…"  
Jasper crossed his eyes and looked down to see what she was staring at. His crazed features only made her laugh harder, and she took his chin in her hands, using her dish towel to wipe the smidge of frosting off the tip of his nose that he was unable to see.

"Try to stick with eating them and not wearing them."  
"I can't help it, all that sugar makes me a little crazy, sort of like a feeding frenzy."

"Well, let's hope your sugar-addicted sister can control herself a little better tomorrow or else, we might have quite the mess on our hands."

Jasper sat back down at the table and took a big gulp of his milk before asking, "So, a baby shower? Is she close to having the baby?"  
"She has less than a month, so technically the baby could arrive any day now. It's not a big, formal shower. More like a few of us getting together and having lunch, like a last girl's day out before Rose becomes a mom."

"Mom…my sister's going to be a mom," Jasper said the words a little wistfully.

Inside his heart was a mixture of pride for this new development in his sister's life, and an ache for the fact that he'd been so absent.

Emmett and Rosalie had married before Jasper had jumped ship, and he had been a groomsman at the ceremony. She had squealed and thrown confetti on his head when he had graduated high school, and he had swung her around and around until she demanded her put her down when it was her time to accept the diploma. They'd been there for all the major celebrations in each other's lives, until…..

Jasper could still remember Rosalie pleading for him to stay as he walked out of their home. How she held onto Emmett's shirt, hands twisted in the fabric, tears streaming down her cheeks, how her face twisted in defeat as her pleas fell on deaf ears. He had caused her such pain. The girl who'd baked him cookies on his birthday after their mother had died, the teenager who begged him to teach her to drive, the young woman who'd asked him for his opinion of Emmett when they'd started dating, and had woken him up in the middle of the night to show him her engagement ring.

So much life shared, so much love broken and discarded by his selfish actions.

Bella watched Jasper pick at the discarded wrapper, shredding the paper into a little pile of waxed parchment and crumbs, the storm rolling in with his thoughts, clouding his eyes in shades of grey, the sea of his emotions a choppy mess. _Dangerous waters ahead._

She tried to steer them both clear from the coming rain.

"So, Esme is coming to pick me up tomorrow, would you like use of the truck?"  
"Hmm?"

"I was trying to explain that I don't need my vehicle tomorrow, so maybe you'd like to get out? Do something but sit in my garage, locked away with your books?"

"Where would I go?"  
Bella shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, Jaz, this is the place where you grew

up. Isn't there anywhere you'd like to revisit, maybe an errand you need to run, hell, just take the Beast for a drive. Put on some tunes and let the wind run through your hair."

"Yeah, I guess."

Bella walked over to her purse. Retrieving the keys from the depths of her bag of everything, she threw them Jasper's direction without warning and he still plucked them from the air with ease.

"Could you fill up the gas tank before bringing him home?"

"Are you using me to do your dirty work?"

With an arched brow, Bella countered, "Do you want to keep the rest of those cupcakes?"

"Yes, m'am. I will do as you please." He mock bowed as he shoved another cake into his mouth.

Five women sat chatting on the porch of a little café downtown in the afternoon sun. The table in front of them was littered with brightly colored tissue and bows, a yellow blanket with a cheery teddy bear embroidered on one corner had refused to be contained in the confines of a gift box, but smiled sweetly at the woman as they oohed and aahed as one tiny outfit after another was presented.

Having cut the cake into slices, Bella resumed her position seated to the right of her best friend and looked over the see the woman had balanced the extra large slab of dessert on her belly. Scraping some icing off the edge of her plate, Rosalie looked up to see Bella watch her as she licked the utensil clean. Rolling her eyes at the pregnant woman, Bella laughed while Rose stopped eating and asked, "What?"

Bella waved away her question, "Don't let me interrupt you."

Rose huffed before returning to her cake.

It was a beautiful day, full of laughter and memories, both old and new. Esme had taken the time to ask Alex if he had any pictures of Rose when she was a baby and the two had located the perfect picture of an infant Rose tucked into her mother's side as the young mother napped with her child. She had had the picture framed, and tissues had been passed around to all the women at the table, as Rose was an emotional mess over the gift.

"Hey, isn't that Rosalie's brother?"

Bella had been collecting everyone's empty plates and forks when she felt their friend Angela tug at her shirt. Bella followed the direction of Angela's eyes and saw a familiar mess of curls making its way towards their location.

"Yeah, it is."

Rose had overheard the exchange and looked over as well, "Jasper! Jasper! Over here!"

Lost in his thoughts, Jasper hadn't noticed the group. He stopped abruptly and Bella could see the look of panic cross his face. He was caught in the open air with no where to hide.

"Hey, Rosalie," he awkwardly began, not making any further movement towards the women.

"Would you like some cake? We have plenty and we can fit another chair at the table," his sister suggested hopefully.

Jamming his hands into his pockets, he replied, "No, thanks. I've got to get going actually."  
Bella watched the exchange and realized that while she had thought she had calmed the storm the day before, it had simply fallen dormant waiting for the right moment to return. Now, it crashed in treacherous waves across Jasper's face, tearing and pulling at him. He turned quickly and went back in the direction from whence he had came.

Bella leaned over and placed a kiss on Rosalie's cheek, "Rose, sweetie, hang in there. He's having a rough time of it. I think I need to follow him. I'll call you later, yeah?"  
Rosalie rubbed soothing circles on her belly, "Sure, sure, Bella."

Bella grabbed her bag and raced down the sidewalk.

Finding that he'd parked her truck on the main road downtown, Bella saw Jasper leaning his head against the side of the vehicle, hands still tucked into his pockets while he scuffed the toe of his shoe at the pavement. Every muscle in his arm was straining taut under his skin and his jaw was a hard line of tension.

Deciding that she'd push him a little further, she approached his side and demanded in a no nonsense tone, "Give me the keys and get in."

He stood up and started to walk away, "Bella, I'm in no mood to be around anyone right now."

Gritting her teeth in frustration, she pushed past him and blocked his path, "Give me the keys and get in the truck. _Now._"

Blue eyes warred with brown, but Bella had decided that she wasn't backing down this time. She wasn't granting him space to fester further, no, now was the time to lance the wound, to feel some of the pain. His frame leaned forward and she could feel the cooler air that was created by his shadow.

"_Fine._" His voice was like an ice pick driving into her veins, but she offered her hand and closed fingers around the metal, not breaking away from his hardened stare.

Watching him climb into the truck and wincing slightly at the sound of the heavy metal slamming into place, she sighed and got in the driver's seat.

Heading away from town, Bella covered the distance towards the shore line and took a barely existing path into the tall grass. Jasper held his frame in stasis even as the truck rocked and dipped as it traversed the uneven ground and Bella put her foot to the breaks as she approached the edge of a cliff.

She rolled down her window and threw her keys down onto the bench seat before climbing out.

She approached the edge and took a deep breath in, letting the salt in the air slide down her throat and fill her lungs. A breeze played with the strands of her hair and pushed them across her face to tickle her nose until she grabbed an elastic out of her pocket and bound it into submission. No sound could be heard from the truck once the engine had settled, save for the occasional rattle of a rusty part cooling down.

Looking over her shoulder, she could see Jasper looking blankly out the window like a sullen teenager that had been dragged from his room. Rolling her eyes, she approached his side of the vehicle and opened the door. He glanced out of the corner of his eyes with her and she moved her head to say, "Out." He glared his displeasure and slid from the bench. Letting him pass, Bella closed the door to the truck behind him.

He watched the ocean waves crash in and push outward from the base of the cliff, arms crossed, stubborn.

Bella perused the ground until she found what she was looking for. Picking up a hefty rock that took two hands she brought it to Jasper and offered it up to the man who was acting as if he couldn't see her. Huffing, she blew bangs out of her eyes that she couldn't reach.

He looked at her expression and caved.

"What am I supposed to do with _that_?"

"Throw it."  
"Where?"

"Out there," She pointed with her head.

"Seriously?"  
"Seriously."  
He took the rock from her hands, feeling that it wasn't heavy but still bared weight and looked out across the water. Bella had already turned in search of another.

He threw it outwards and watched the arc of descent until it broke the surface of blue. Bella came up beside him and placed three more rocks at his feet, before leaving him to gather more. He watched her bend to pick up a rather large rock that took a little effort and she raised an eyebrow when she caught his stare.

"Throw."

Rolling his eyes, he picked up a smaller rock and threw it like he was skipping stones across a creek.

"Not like that," Bella explained. She picked up a rock and brought her arm all the way back before launching it forward with a scream.

Jasper jumped at the sound and looked over at her to see if she was okay, but she merely picked up another and did it again. She was raw emotion let loose. In her mind's eye, his presence wasn't even registering, she just pushed everything out with each throw. Placing hands on her hips, she looked over at him.

"I get you have stuff fighting inside you. I've been there, as it claws away at your insides, waiting for you to catch your breath only to tear you apart a little bit more," Bella looked out over the water, "You think you can control it, or you can at least learn to live with it. But, you can't….Jasper, you just can't. It will destroy you. So, throw it away. Let some of it go."

Bending down to pick up a larger rock, she handed it to him. He looked at her honest, caring eyes and saw she meant every word she had spoken, she was trying to hand him the key to unlocking some of the chains that he dragged around behind him.

Taking the course granite chunk from her, he took both hands and forced the boulder away with every ounce of tension he had stored in the fibers of his muscles. A rough guttural sound followed the movement. He erased Bella from the scenery and just started throwing, wild movement that caused his heart to race and his breath to scrape down his throat. Sweat formed, causing the back of his shirt to cling to his shoulders.

"_**Damn it!"**_

Throw. Scream. Anger. Pain. Force. Release. Repeat.

"_**What was I thinking?"**_

The rock pile she had formed disappeared and his eyes raked the ground hungrily looking for another object, picking up sticks and other jagged pieces of stone that he found in the near vicinity.

Bella had climbed onto the hood of the truck and sat silently, watching his emotions unravel, hearing his pain spill out into the air. She fought the urge to comfort, but let him fall apart, energy bleeding out until he was an exhausted panting mess. His shoulders rose and fell in a quick staccato as he watched the sun start to sink beneath the horizon.

Clasping her hands together, she whispered, "Jasper…"  
Wild blue orbs, almost electric flashed her direction as he turned and looked at her before crossing the distance between the two.

Bella felt rough, ragged palms cup the sides of her face before his lips crashed down on hers. She placed her palms on his chest and whimpered when the edge of his teeth nipped at her lips until they parted granting his tongue entrance to her mouth. He slid into her space, fitting between her legs and she moved to wrap her arms around him.

He was empty looking to be filled, and she was overflowing with need that she poured into him. He pulled back to tease her mouth, and she pushed forward chasing after his searing kiss.

Take...taking...taken, over and over until they were both breathing heavily. Leaning his forehead against hers, the two stared at one another wordlessly until

Bella broke the silence.

"Home?"

"Home."

**A/N: You know, I was going to make this chapter longer, but I think it would have then become overly long, and honestly, it's exhausting to write out these types of interchanges. You can't help but tense and feel some of what the two people on the page are feeling, so, I needed a break.**

**I hope you like it. I was so pleased to see that many of you love this pair as much as I do. They just endear me to them. **

**Till next time, reviews, follows, favorites are divine. Leave some love! **

**Xoxo - Ginja**


	7. Chapter 7: Reunion, Take Two

**Disclaimer: SM and Twilight are a matched pair, and no writing I create separates the two**

_*** Chapter 7 – Reunion, Take Two ***_

Awkward.

If a title needed to be assigned to the ride home in Bella's truck, "Awkward" would be it.

For months, Bella had cooked meals, made coffee, doctored wounds, and conversed with the man sitting next to her. Hell, they'd become roommates before stepping into the realm of being friends.

Jasper had seen her looking like death warmed over and still he had remained by her side, did her laundry and cleaned her house, fetched her hot tea till she had gotten over being sick.

Teasing full of snarky words and playful banter had turned into flirting, and both girl and boy were aware that a spark had been bouncing back and forth between the two, waiting to catch flame.

And now that temptation had turned to taste….now…now what?

Awkward.

Bella sat in the driver's seat of the faded red Beast, not really listening to the music coming from the radio while the tip of her tongue ran across her bottom lip, trying to pull back the memory of his mouth on hers. Her right hand rested on the bench seat, twisting a lose thread in the upholstery, tugging and twisting as heated memories assaulted her brain.

Jasper looked over at the woman by his side, watching the wind from the open window grab hold of loose strands of her hair so they danced alongside her face to a tempo contradictory to the song playing in the background. There was a slight dip to her eyebrows, a look of concentration pushed into gentle features as she stared at the road ahead.

He needed to touch her again, he wanted the contact, the thrum of heat that he felt when he touched her skin, the satisfaction that had coursed through his veins when he'd pushed past the flirtation and finally captured her in his arms.  
Sliding his own hand over to where hers was worrying the string sticking out of the seat, he let his pinky slide against hers and when her movements stilled as he rubbed back and forth, he let it slide and lock with hers, reminiscent of a child's pinky swear. It wasn't enough, but it soothed his nerves to be in contact with her again, even this tiny amount.

Fingers locked, they finished the drive home in silence.

Awkward.

Pulling up to the garage, Bella pulled her hand from Jasper's and turned the truck off. The two sat there staring at a night sky full of stars, a full moon washing the color from both passengers so the pair appeared a study in black and white.

Bella turned to look at Jasper, "I really need to call Rosalie, let her know we're home. She was worried when you took off."

Like a bucket of cold water, reality snapped back into focus and the events of the afternoon returned from its hiding place.

"Yeah, okay…I'm sorry I ran like that, I just froze, I wasn't expecting…I wasn't prepared to see her…"  
Bella bridged the gap between their bodies and gave his hand a squeeze, "Hey, don't stress, we understand, but Jasper, I'm not the one you need to apologize to. I have you, right here in my own backyard, every day. Rosalie's the one who is broken-hearted every time you shut her out. She's the one that needs to hear 'I'm sorry.' At this point, she'd take any words you felt so inclined to toss her way."

He flinched from the sting of the last sentence, but knew she was right. Rosalie had looked so hopeful, so full of happiness sitting there, hand resting on her very pregnant belly, and he'd doused the light out…again.

"Will there ever come a point that I stop fucking this thing up?"  
"Honestly?"

Turning to face her, a little flame of hope lit up Bella's heart as she finally saw a man that was asking for someone to throw him a line, to help him find his way out of the dark. She silently said a prayer that they had finally reached a turning point.

"Yes, honestly. I've missed so much, I've hurt them so badly, Bella. I thought it was an empty stomach and an empty wallet that brought me to this place, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want them back."

"Well…I think you hold yourself back more than they do. You, Jasper, are your own worst enemy," Bella rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand, "And, you have to be the one to take the first step. They won't move till you're ready….are you ready?"

"Maybe?"

Bella sighed, "It's been a long day, and I'm sure you're exhausted. I really do need to call Rosalie. So, why don't I go call her and you can take a shower, wash away some of the sweat and the dirt?"

Scratching at the back of his neck, Jasper nodded his head, "Yeah…yeah, okay," turning to look at Bella, he asked gently, "Will you tell her I'm sorry about today?"  
With a gentle smile and a reassuring tug at his hand, Bella replied, "Yes, I think I can do that."

The call had only taken a few minutes. Rosalie was happy to hear that her brother hadn't hitched a ride out of town, and a few tears could be heard across the wire when Bella conveyed his apology. It was hard to rein her best friend's hope and excitement in, when the woman wanted a reunion with her brother more than anything.

Standing at the sink looking out into the backyard, Bella watched a timid deer leave the safety of the trees to nibble at the grass. Moonlight illuminated the graceful creature, the curvature of her neck as her head bent low to the ground. Bella traced the lines with her eyes, feeling the itch to put the same curves to paper, to draw long sweeping lines on the page.

She didn't even hear Jasper approach from behind, and she jumped just a little when he placed his hand on either side of her, framing her body in and placing a chin on her shoulder to look out the window.

They both watched in wonder as a small fawn emerged from the trees and joined his mother in the moonlight. Bella could feel the heat of Jasper's frame sinking into the back of her shirt, his breath by her ear.

Sliding his arms in to lock her in an embrace from behind, he whispered, "Is this okay?"

She didn't speak, but nodded silently.

Turning his face, he placed light kisses down the side of her neck, and Bella bent her head slightly to grant him better access. Feeling it wasn't enough, she turned in his hold and twisted her fingers in the curls at his neck to pull his face down to hers, letting their lips touch again.

She took the time to break away from his kiss, so she could run lips across his jaw, running her hands under his shirt, exploring the hardened muscles that roped across his frame. Inhaling the scent of his shower, she let her tongue trace the tiny beads of water on his neck. He pulled at the wave of hair spilling down her back, tilting her head back until he could capture her mouth again, sucking her lower lip to the brink of it being painful and then plunging his tongue in when she started to pant. Bella ignored the bite of the counter's edge in her back, but widened her stance so Jasper could slide in closer to her, erasing any space between the two.

She was high. Euphoric on his taste, on the desire that rolled off him and crashed onto her frame.

Resting his head at the dip of her neck meeting shoulder, Jasper breathed heavily, holding Bella's body in his tightened grasp.

"Bella…"

Bella's head spun, intoxicated from a heady mixture of passion and lust, "Fuck, Jasper, just give me a minute…I can't see straight."  
He chuckled against her neck, placing a kiss on the soft skin there.

"Damn it, stop that. That is not helping me think."  
"Do you always use four-letter swear words when you're turned on?"  
"Are you always such a cocky ass?"

"Nope, 'ass' is three letters. Do we count cocky as well? What exactly were you referring to there?"

She smacked at his rear since her arms were trapped by his hold, "Back up, I can't breathe!"

Taking a step back, Jasper looked at Bella from head to toe. Her hair was a tangled mess from the wind and his hands, the brown of her eyes pushed back by dilated pupils, lips slightly pouty and full from their kisses, and the skin on her neck slightly reddened where his unshaved jaw had rubbed against her.

Ravished, she looked like a woman who had been thoroughly ravished, and he wanted nothing more than to push further. To finish the picture with Bella wrapped in nothing but a sheet, a look of satisfaction replacing the face of want she was currently wearing.

Bella chewed her thumb nail nervously, "So, this…"

She gestured between the two of them.

One corner of his mouth twitched up, "Mmm-hmm…"  
She huffed, "You're not going to help me out here, are you?"  
"Much more fun to watch you do all the work," His grin broke into a

mischievous smile.

"Ass," she bounced one leg, "Jasper, I don't want this to mess things up for you now that you've returned."  
He cocked his head to the side, "Mess things up? Bella, you're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. How would that mess things up?"

"I just don't want to push you into something you aren't ready for."  
"Don't want to push me, or are you scared?"

"Fair point," she replied, leg still bouncing.

Stepping forward and tipping her chin up so she could look at him, Jasper asked, "Are you ready for this?"

"I want you so much, Jasper, but I also care about you too."

"I'm fully aware of that."

"_I _don't want to lose you."

Jasper saw there was a flash of insecurity, of fear in her eyes. He didn't have all the pieces of the picture yet.

Taking a breath, he proposed, "So, how about we just take it slowly for now? Bella, I don't think I can be this close to you and step backwards, but I can stay right here, like this, for now."

Relief crossed her features and she placed her hands on either side of his face, standing on her toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips, "Thank you."  
"For you? Anything," Jasper returned her kiss with one of his own, "I mean that. I'm still seriously screwed up here, Bella, but you…you give me the strength to try and stand."

Bella buried her face in his chest, resting in his arms as the moonlight spilled into the kitchen window, peace settling on the two lovers as they held onto each other.

"Home?"  
He kissed the top of her head and nodded, "Home."

Bella was busy putting together a hashbrown casserole when Jasper walked in the back door the next morning.

He'd slept hard once he was able to push all thoughts of what it would be like to spend the night with the woman who had captured his heart out of his mind. Now, it was edging towards the eleven o'clock hour on a Sunday.

Yawning over a cup of coffee, he asked, "Is that all for me? Because even I think I'm not going to be able to eat all of that, no matter how much I love cheese and potatoes mixed together in the same dish."

Bella took in the rat's nest of bed hair and eyes that were still lined with sleep and smiled, "Sleep well there, princess?"  
"We can't all be perfect, waking up with the sun, ready to take on the day."

"Obviously."

"Again, woman, I have to ask what you're doing. It's a little early to be making dinner."

Bella rolled her eyes and stopped what she was doing to look at him, "Jasper, it's Sunday."

"Okay…"  
"And…Sunday is family meal day."

Jasper took a sip of his coffee and let her words sink in. Family meal….his family…

"Would you like to come with me?"

Looking up, he watched Bella chew on her lip as she looked up at him through long lashes framing warm, comforting brown eyes.

"First step?"

Bella nodded in response to his question. Dinner with the family…his palms were slightly sweaty and his stomach churned the few sips of coffee he'd had the chance to consume.

Could he do this?

"You'll be with me?"  
"Every moment, I won't leave your side."

He tried to slow down his racing heart. Bella stayed rooted to her spot by the oven, watching him war against his fear.

"Yeah…okay…dinner it is."  
She started to smile, "Yeah?"  
"What if I pass out or make a run out the front door?"  
Crossing the kitchen, Bella slid her arms around his waist, placing a kiss on his chest, "I'll be there."

Bella exited the truck and grabbed the casserole container from the storage compartment in the bed of her truck.

"Jasper, can you get the fruit salad?"

Closing the lid, she looked in the back window of the truck and found that he was still where she had left him in the passenger seat.

"Jasper?"

Peeking in the window, he was sitting there, hands clasped together tightly, staring at the house.

"Jasper, baby, you have to get out," Bella worried.

He looked over at her, "You'll stay with me?"

"Promise"

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and let his legs slide to the ground. He raked the hair out of his eyes and observed that they were the last to arrive.

"Could you carry the fruit salad in?"

He grabbed the bowl off the bench seat and closed the door to the truck, joining Bella as she made her way to the back door of the house. Opening the door for her, she passed in front of him and he followed behind, keeping his eyes trained on the back of her head.

Bella made her way into the kitchen where she could hear Esme and Rosalie chatting. When she entered the room, the two women turned to greet her and froze when they took in the man shadowing.

Bella set down her dish and turned to Jasper, smiling reassuringly.

"Jasper?" Rosalie crossed towards him, making a motion as if to shake his hand or hug him, and in return, Jasper held up his bowl of fruit salad awkwardly, stopping the woman's movements.

Bella giggled, as Rosalie took the offering, before sliding her hand in his, squeezing gently.

Esme strutted over and grabbed him in an embrace, not minding that Jasper's grip remained firmly on Bella's hand, "Welcome, Jasper, it's so good to see you."

Rosalie turned from the refrigerator and watched the interchange, noticing the connection between her brother and her best friend. Bella caught her eyes and smiled, shrugging slightly and Rosalie just winked in response.

"Babe! Is Bella here? Can we eat now? I'm starving!" Emmett broke through the doorway leading into the family room and stopped when he saw the unexpected addition to the group.

"Jasper"

"Emmett"

Rosalie slid over to her husband and wrapped him in a sideways hug, grinning brightly.

Emmett looked at his wife's shining face and smiled at his brother-in-law, "Glad you could join us."  
Jasper nodded.

"Can we eat now or are we all just going to stare at Jasper like he's an alien?"

Bella laughed at Emmett's attempt to break the tension and told him to go gather the rest of the group.

Sitting around the table, the Hale family was once more united, after almost three years of being apart.

Alex had a hard time eating, as he just kept staring at his son in disbelief that the man was finally home. Rosalie wouldn't stop smiling, and pregnancy hormones prevented her from holding her happy tears in. Bella ate with one hand, her other locked with Jasper's in a death grip under the table. And, Jasper struggled to not jump out of his seat.

"So, Jasper," Carlisle began, "how's work going? Are you liking it?"

Jasper took a sip of tea before answering, "Actually, I've enjoyed the chance to work with my hands. Before, I was working in the office, and I think I like being on site more than I like being behind a desk."

"Is that so?"

Emmett broke in, "He's great to have around. The crew likes him and he's had some really good suggestions that help open up the layout of those new homes out on Elm."

"I'm not surprised," Alex broke in, "Jasper always had some of his mother's eye for design. But, I never realized you wanted to be more hands on with the blueprints."

Jasper looked at his father's pleased face, "I don't think I knew that myself, sir."

"Well, if you're interested, I can connect you with some of the architects we use."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, I was just sharing with Emmett some of the ideas I had."

Rosalie watched worriedly the exchange between father and son, knowing from previous experience the fights that came from Alex trying to plan out every step of his son's future. Alex caught her eyes and smiled reassuringly.

"If you change your mind, let me know. No hurry, Jasper, just an offer."

Bella smiled at the man by her side as Jasper looked at the man whose face so mirrored his own, "Thank you, sir, I appreciate that."

Alex looked thoughtfully at this child so different from the one who had fought him on every front as a young man, "Dad…"

Bella held her breath as she watched Jasper's expression react to his father's correction. Tension held taught finally relaxed, and some of the lines in his face smoothed out.

"Thank you, _dad._"

Rosalie chose that moment to burst into tears. Jasper looked horrified at his sister's emotional breakdown.

"It's okay, man," Emmett encouraged, "She pretty much cries the same way at commercials, even the ones for toilet paper. Like, it's toilet paper, what's emotional about toilet paper?"

"There's the cute little baby bear….*hiccup*…and the mommy bear," the pregnant woman tried to explain and Emmett made a crazy sign on the side of his head.

"Emmett McCarthy, I see exactly what you are doing and I can not believe you are making fun of the mother of your child!"

Emmett only twirled his finger more until Rose threw her roll at his head. He just grabbed it when it bounced off and took a bite. Looking over to check and see if he was hanging in there, Bella was surprised to find that Jasper was wearing that smile that he reserved for moments when the world was just right, when the past wasn't intruding in his thoughts and he felt free. She leaned over to kiss his cheek and the whole table froze.

Jasper looked down at the interruption and upon seeing Bella's dazzling smile, he bent down and let his lips meet hers briefly.

Rosalie cleared her throat.

Jasper met his sister's questioning glare.

Seconds passed in a silent stand off.

Her lips started to curve upwards.

His did the same.

She started to laugh.

He did too.

Everyone went back to finishing the meal.

**A/N: FINALLLY! I brought him back home. (again) Not completely fixed, but baby steps, people, baby steps. I still feel like I was able to weave some romance and heart warming moments into the story line. **

**The reviews and encouragement blow me away. You, dear readers, are getting this chapter so quickly because I wanted to run back to the keyboard and give you the next piece of the story to make you happy. So, leave some love or feedback or smiley emoticons! I'll take it all.**

**Special thanks to those of you who joined up for following BB. I hope you love these two as much as I do.**

**Xoxo- Ginja**


	8. Chapter 8: Scars Brought to Light

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.**

**Before you begin today's chapter, it's involves loss and suffering that may be more than you want to face today. That's okay. You can hang in there for the next chapter and know that essentially, Bella was willing to bring her scars out for Jasper to see. Be sweet and give yourself plenty of grace! – G**

*** _Chapter – Scars Brought to Light ***_

One dinner did not a cure-all make.

Rosalie and Jasper had always been close and it was easier for the two to slide towards playful banter. Rose was overwhelmingly thankful to have Jasper finally speaking with her that she was able to turn a blind eye to the past and pretend it never happened for the moment.

But, Alex and Jasper….well theirs was a cracked and scarred relationship with a history of epic yelling matches.

Alex wanted the best for his child, and tried to steer him towards a successful future. But, it came in the guise of disapproving expressions and negative feedback when Jasper tried to suggest going a different path. The man didn't realize the harm he was doing with the arsenal of words he chose, and when his stubborn son would jump to a defensive stance, Alex chose to spar instead of back down. When Jasper went looking for comfort and acceptance elsewhere, it was primarily as a result of always feeling he was never enough in his own home.

The distance between the men was still a vast chasm without a bridge to cover the gap.

Jasper stretched out in the Adirondack chair on the back porch of Bella's home, allowing his eyelids to close and his ears to absorb the sounds of nature's night owls coming out to play.

Bella had gone inside to change into a thick hooded sweatshirt and make a pot of coffee to push back the chill of the evening.

When he heard the back door close, he allowed one eye to open and take in her approach to his chair, setting down a thick ceramic mug with steam rising off the surface of the dark contents. He waited until she had curled up in the chair beside his to speak.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask a question?"

The quiet solemn look on his features had a spark of panic twitching under her skin, "Sure."

"What did I miss while I was gone? You didn't live here when Rose and I were in school. Honestly, I didn't even realize Chief Swan had a daughter," he continued his query, "What brought you to your father's house? How did you meet Rose and become friends? Why do you hold yourself tightly in check at times?"

"Woah, Jaz, slow down there. One question at a time."

She took an unsteady sip of the drink in her hand, letting the crickets fill in the break of conversation that she didn't want to pour her own words into.

"So, which one are you wanting to answer first?"

"Fuck, Jasper," she snapped, "give me one damn second. You aren't asking what my favorite color is, you're asking me to share the memories that have carved into my flesh and sculpted me into the person I am. This isn't idle chatter."

Rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hand, Bella grimaced at the thought of what he was asking. Gritting her teeth, she took a breath to try and gather any scrap of courage that was lying dormant in the corners of her soul.

"Before I answer even one of those questions, you have to agree to the rules."

Watching the tension in her frame coil tighter, the stress lines between her brows deepen, the way her breathing had shifted slightly, was heavier, Jasper nodded without countering.

"You cannot stop me once I start, you _don't_ get to question or comment. You will sit and you will listen or I will not make it to the end. And you can not look at me like some puppy that has been kicked to the curve. Pity doesn't make this easier, got it?"

"Yes."  
The weight of picking up pain she had once laid aside pushed down on her shoulders and Bella held her mug with hands wrapped around the side, trying to pull the heat into her body.

"I lived with my mother in Phoenix, and you wouldn't have remembered seeing me, because Charlie came to me for the summer visits we had. I didn't want to be here and I was quite the unruly teenager about coming for visits, so he caved and we started vacationing on the coast of California or whatever other location he picked." Her hands made a sharp flighty movement with the final sentence, and she tucked long hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture.

"It wasn't till after I started college that I took much interest in trying to date, but I went on a few before I met Gavin," she smiled slightly, "He was everyone's golden boy, good looks, beautiful smile, charm rolled off his lips like smooth whisky. I was smitten, wrapped up in the web he would spin, so much so that I didn't pay much attention to anything else. Even though I graduated top of my high school class, college grades weren't important, hell, going to class was always optional. If I had the option to spend the day wrapped up in his bed, that's where you would find me. I couldn't get enough of him. It was a maddening, frenzied need I had, a thirst I couldn't quite full satisfy."

Sliding her eyes over to Jasper's face, she continued with grimace, "I'm sure you could predict that we would fall apart, and indeed, we did. Right about the time that I overheard one of his friends make some sick twisted comment about having a 'go at me' after seeing the pictures Gavin had been sharing with the guys."

The grasp Jasper had on the arms of his chair tightened as his brain started to run headlong down the list of possibilities of what happened next. He wanted to find this 'Gavin,' to tear him apart and break him down for the pain he inflicted on a carefree young woman who had obviously fallen head over heels in love with a wolf in sheep's clothing.

She shook away the crude oil of a memory that wanted to stain her skin, "I didn't care that he took pictures of me, of us. I thought it fanciful that he found my body so desirous, our being together so sexy that he wanted to capture it. But I did care that he felt the need to send the same pictures on to his group of buddies."

"After the façade had been shattered, it was easy to see that I had only seen half of who Gavin really was, and all that charm cloaked a play boy who had added me to a list of conquests he had while attending university."

"He laughed when I unleashed my rage and called me naïve child. Told me I could thank him later for the life lesson on just how cold and cruel the world could be."  
Bella took a sip of the quickly cooling beverage in her hands, the black drink as bitter as those last memories of their relationship.

"I cut all ties, and I tried to ignore the taunting words his friends would toss my way when they saw me on campus. I thought I would be able to get past it till I realized my period was late, and….I realized I was pregnant."

Memories of Bella interacting with a small child came to the forefront of Jasper's mind, along with the sorrow that filled her eyes when he'd commented how she had a with kids.

"I didn't tell anyone. Not my mother, not the few friends that I had, and I'd be damned if I let Gavin know. God, I just wanted it gone," hands fisted into the sleeves of her shirt, she pushed them into her legs, baring down into the material, "I tried so hard to wish it away, to ignored the days that passed without getting my period, just ignored what was happening."

Chewing on a fingernail, Bella continued, "Till I woke up one night with the most searing pain in my lower back. I lay there in my bed, shivering, curled into a tiny ball. I didn't want to move. I knew something was wrong, and I lay there trying to tell myself that as long as I didn't move, I would be okay. Of course, I had no choice, I finally got up from my bed, and that's when I felt the first trickle of blood run down the inside of my leg."

Jasper watched the woman who had become the girl of the past rock slightly in her chair as her voice lost all feeling, she had simply become a robot, reciting the facts.

"I drove myself to the hospital emergency room and they confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. Every time I moved, it seemed like a new wave of blood was set free from my body. It…just…wouldn't stop. My body just kept trying to purge itself of my mistake, as the pain shredded me from the inside. They quickly knocked me out and took me back for a D&amp;C."  
"My mother had to come get me, and I couldn't hide what had happened. She was so sad…for me…for the baby. And all I could think was, _I did this, I wished for it_. The universe had given me what I had most desired, my sins erased in a wave of red. _What kind of cruel, ugly twisted creature was I to wish for the death of the innocent?_"

"Bella…"

His jaw clamped shut with the snap of her head, as she warned with savage eyes that he shouldn't say anything else.

"So, I started drinking heavily, pushing down all emotions with a heavy blanket of alcohol. I quit going to class."

Bella got up from her seat and reached in the back door to grab the pack of cigarettes she had waiting. Lighting one up, Jasper watched as one steady stream of smoke exited her mouth. The picture of what would ever cause her to smoke in the middle of the night came sharply into focus.

"Mom didn't know what to do with me, so she packed me off to Charlie. Being the police chief and all, he would be able to get me straightened out, right?"

Bitter shards of laughter scraped across the sky.

"God, I was such a bitch to him. I refused to do anything he said, ran off every moment I had the chance, to whatever bar would serve the police chief's underage daughter or a local party. Booze, pot, pills, whatever kept the demons at bay…the guilt."

Jasper had trouble rectifying the girl in front of him, the one who volunteered to help others, who opened her home to a stranger, that found the time to talk with her customers at the diner with a smile on her face each morning with the wild child she was describing. She seemed so in control and steady, a place of refuge in the storm he had created. And yet, she had once been feral, unrestrained and reckless with her days, searching for blackness, a way to escape reality.  
She turned her eyes towards his stare, "So, you asked about Rosalie?"

She started to laugh, honestly, a poignant smile that allowed in a small sliver of light.

"We were both at a party. I was completely wasted, heading towards unconsciousness and I tried to hit on Emmett," She giggled at the memory, "I think I was attempting to whisper dirty promises in his ear, when here comes this leggy blonde in three-inch heels to find this short little scrap of boozy girl with her hand on her husband's crotch while he looked at me, completely terrified as to what the appropriate response was to being assaulted by the police chief's daughter. And then… I proceeded to throw up on his shoes."  
Jasper sat stunned at the picture unrolling in his mind's eye of how very far he had been from what he thought must have been a friendship formed out of shopping trips and lunch dates.

"I completed the evening's performance by passing out and Rosalie demanded that Emmett carry me to their home. She tucked me in and took me to see Carlisle the very next day, even amidst all the four-letter laced wishes I aimed at her head during the drive to his office," Bella's eyes started to water slightly, "Carlisle took some of my history down, and with Rosalie sitting by my side, she made him explain to me all the myriad of medical reasons why my losing my child wasn't my fault. That I didn't have some sort of magic power to end his or her existence, my body just wasn't ready."

Wiping away a tear that was tracking its way to her chin, Bella looked at Jasper and sniffled, "I think I reminded her of you, the boy she loved but couldn't save…"

Pain bruising and tender settled in Jasper's chest.

"So, I became the girl she rescued from the edge. Fuck, she was annoying those first few days, drying me out, refusing to leave me by myself. Emmett thought she had lost her mind, but you know he can't deny her anything."

"Days turned to weeks. I went to see Carlisle for a check up and he asked if I'd like to volunteer at the clinic. And the rest, I guess you could say is history."

Jasper released long held breathe, "Am I'm allowed to say I'm sorry?"

Bella nodded, "You are…but that's about it. Jasper, I can't change those days. No amount of good works I do, or things that make me smile can take away the pain that I can still physically remember. Nothing erases that, do you understand?"

And he did. He truly did.

"But I can visit it and move on. I can look to the future and remember that there will be other children. I can choose to spread my wings and try flying again."

She was so beautiful and brave, broken and mended, not quite whole but healing.

He admired it.

He wanted it.

He knew she'd help him find it.

**A/N: So if I was ever exhausted by tension created through writing, today is the day. I knew this was coming, I just hadn't found the right place to put it till now. I hope it sufficed in showing why Bella identifies with Jasper.**

**On a realistic note, I tried to make this as close to truth as I could. I lost my first pregnancy when I was 8 weeks along, and it pretty much went exactly as I wrote it. When I went for my check-up, the doctor informed me I was pregnant again. I lost the twins at 4 months. I was 19 years old and hadn't even made it to my first wedding anniversary. Needless to say, I became the girl who wanted nothing to do with babies or children and turned into the girl who had a weekend affection for bottles of Boone's. (don't judge my alcohol choice) **

**When I got pregnant with Gigantor (my 18 yr old, 6'4" giant man child), I refused to buy any baby clothes until two weeks before he was born. Life is brutal, people. We are formed by what we've lived.**

**Much love- Ginja**


	9. Chapter 9: You Know What You Did

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**After that last chapter, I though we could all use a reason to smile. So, may you enjoy a few more moments of entertaining interactions between our favorite duo. **

**Before we begin, let me apologize for picking on men in general in this one. You're fabulous guys, being dads and husbands and friends to hormonal females around the world. Extra points to you for even trying to keep up with a pregnant girl's emotions. No hard feelings. You rock. : )**

_*** Chapter 9 – You Know What You Did ***_

Bella had left him sitting outside the night of her confession. It was his turn to respect her need for space, and Jasper allowed her to walk away, head held high, not allowing her past be the master of her present.

The next morning he woke up, as usual, to find that she'd already left for the diner, a simple post-it note by the coffee pot that read:

_Dinner with E &amp; R tonight at their place? _

Rosalie wasted no time latching on to her chance to make up for lost moments with her brother. Jasper wasn't sure he was ready to go full force with the family just yet, but a dinner with just his sister and her husband? He figured that was as easy as making his way back home was going to get. He texted Bella an affirmative response to her tentative plans, complete with an x and an o before heading off to the shower to get ready for work.

Sitting in the little nook of Rose's kitchen, Jasper watched with fascination as his sister grabbed her fourth slice of pizza.

_Where was she putting it all? Seriously, the woman has zero room for anything else in her stomach. _

Bella leaned over to whisper in his ear, "Stop staring…"

But it was like one of those viral videos on the internet, he couldn't pull his eyes away. Bella jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow and he grunted with the contact, causing Rose to divert her attention from dinner and onto her brother.

With a slice part way to her mouth, she looked at Jasper's wide eyes and at the pizza and back to her brother.

"What?"

Bella answered for the blonde by her side, "Nothing, Rose, Jasper's just having a little trouble with manners this evening. What were you saying about the swing you ordered for the baby? Do you think it will get here before he or she does?"

Rosalie's eyes started to water and Bella rolled her eyes at the coming meltdown.

"You think I'm eating too much! I know, I'm the size of a whale!"

Cue tears in 1…2…3…

Emmett took Rosalie's hand in his, "No, baby, you're beautiful. All curvy and round…"

"Curvy and round?! That's a nice way of saying fat, Emmett Cullen!"

"For the love…" Bella huffed in annoyance at the men sharing their table, "Could you guys think for 5 seconds before opening your mouths to speak?"

Jasper interrupted the dress down, "Technically, I didn't _say_ anything…"  
Cue glare of death.

"Point taken, I'm just going to sit here and shut up now."

"I'm just _always_ hungry these days," Rosalie offered by way of explanation as tears continued to flow.

"As well you should be, Rose. Men do not understand how many calories it takes to form an entire human being all by yourself. They have zero mental capacity for understanding," Bella challenged either male to say one more thing as she continued, "And so, Rosalie, my dear sweet mother-to-be, we are going to go settle ourselves on the couch, put on Grey's Anatomy and let the boys clean up the dishes."

Getting up from the table, Bella went to stand by Rosalie's side and extended a hand in the woman's direction. Rosalie looked at her husband and brother before sniffling and nodding at Bella's assessment of the current situation.

"Yeah, okay. That would be nice."

The pair made their way to the living room and Jasper could hear Rosalie ask, "Could we have come ice cream maybe?"

"Absolutely. Emmett?"

"Be right there, Bells," Emmett looked at the mess of dinner dishes and half empty pizza boxes before shooting daggers at his brother-in-law, "This is your fault."

"What? I couldn't help it. Where does she put it all? She gives you a run for the money on who can eat the most these days," Jasper continued in awe.

"Shut up, man, before they hear you. Start carrying those dishes while I fetch the ice cream."

"Do you want to take my bike out for a drive and maybe get in some hiking this weekend?"

Fingers entwined, Bella and Jasper walked hand-in-hand down Main Street after closing the clinic on Thursday afternoon. It had been a slow day, and Emmett dropped Jasper off by Bella's truck so the pair could grab some dinner and a movie.

"Just the two of us?"

"Feeling a little closed in lately?"

Scratching the back of his neck, Jasper considered the question, "I don't know, maybe? I love my sister, but at the same time, it feels like I'm trying to get a drink of water out of a fire hose. Could we turn down the attention just a little?"

"I can understand that," Bella agreed, "Which brings me back to my original question. Wanna run away with me this weekend?"

"Sure."

They continued on to the theatre, stopping to get tickets at the window before Jasper opened the door to the entrance, allowing Bella to walk ahead of him. Making her way to the concessions counter, Bella recognized a familiar set of faces.

"Edward, Jessica," she took her time to greet them both while Jasper took his position slightly behind her right shoulder, "How have you guys been?"

Edward nodded, "We're good. Jasper, nice seeing you again."

Edward was hit or miss when it came to Sunday afternoon dinners, so he and Jasper had minimal contact since he'd returned home.

"Oh my gosh, Jasper Hale. Well, I never!" Jessica gushed before almost knocking the man over with her exuberant hug.

Bella bristled slightly at the female's attention, before mentally checking herself with the reminder that Jessica was Edward's date. Jasper wedged his hands onto the girl's arms and emphasized some distance between the two.

"Jessica"

"How long have you been back?"

"I don't know, four or five months?"

Looking past him, she peered around the lobby, before continuing with her questions, "Is Alice with you? You two caused quite the scandal, disappearing like you did."

Jasper tensed at the mention of her name, "No, Alice and I split ways a while before I decided to come back. We haven't exactly kept in touch."

Bella, sensing Jasper's discomfort, interrupted, "Jessica, I think the counter guy is trying to get your attention."

"What? Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I just get to talking, well anyhow, it was good seeing you, Jaz. Maybe you can come out with us one night? Catch up for old time's sake?" She looked Bella over, "Are you two together? I mean, Bella, _you're more than welcome_ to come along."

Bella grabbed Jasper's hand in hers and took a step between the two, snarling slightly, "Thanks Jess for the heart felt invite. _We _will just have to check _our _calendars."

Jessica looked Bella in the eye and caught Jasper's sly grin over the girl's shoulder.

"Well, enjoy your movie."

Not making a move to step forward, Bella waited until Edward and the air head had gotten their food and left for the theatre before stepping up to the counter.

"I take it you're not friends," Jasper stated.

Bella glared in response.

"Down girl, just an observation."

Bella sighed, "Sorry, she just drives me crazy. After Rose and I became friends, Jessica assumed I would try moving in on Edward. As if I'd have any interest in a man who takes longer to fix his hair into an 'artful disarray' than I take to get completely ready from shower to out the door.

Anyhow, she felt the need to make sure everyone knew about my little adventures when I first got to town in hopes of securing her relationship with Eddie by making me out to be the town scandal."

"She's been after that boy since they were in kindergarten. It's always been amusing and slightly sad to see just what desperate moves she'd make to snag him, but I'm surprised he finally caved." Jasper shared.

"Well, Edward seems intent on sticking around here, and the number of single ladies is dwindling with each passing year, so maybe he's decided she's his best option."

"He didn't try and steal the best girl in town?"

Bella thought for a moment before asking, "Who?"

Jasper laughed and touched her nose, "I was thinking of you."

"Me?" Bella sassily asked before grabbing their bucket of popcorn and taking a long pull off of her cherry Icee, "Haven't you heard? I'm a hot mess. Emotionally unstable, can't hold my liquor, hitting on unsuspecting married men."

He smacked her ass as they made their way into the theatre. And she swung her hips all the way down the aisle in response.

Friday morning didn't come soon enough, and Jasper's muscles ached in protest as he dragged himself out of bed, wishing that it was already five o'clock so he could call it a weekend.

He drank his coffee propped up against the porch railing with eyes closed, waiting for Emmett to arrive, as he dreamt about blueberry pancakes and warm maple syrup while the crew headed out for breakfast.

Bella nodded her head at the boys in general direction when they sat down at the table, with a short, "The usual?"

Since no one spoke up with any changes, she quickly filled coffee cups and disappeared to the kitchen. Jasper was too tired to take much note of her slightly cold demeanor towards him until a plate was placed in front of him that bore one cold piece of toast and a single slice of somewhat burnt bacon.

Seth's eyebrows raised at the man's breakfast while Bella placed a stack of pancakes in front of him.

"Bella, sweetheart," Jasper began, "I know I've put on a little weight in the last few months, but I didn't realize we had gotten to the point that I needed to go on a diet."

Brown eyes fueled with fire turned on him, "Don't you try and 'sweetheart' me, Jasper Hale."

Everyone at the table stopped eating to watch the pair face off.

"Did I miss something?"

"You know what you did"

"Um…no…I really don't."  
"I was sleeping all nice and peaceful and then there was this dream, and I was cooking you a nice candlelight dinner and I put on this pretty dress and waited for you to show up, and instead you took of on the back of _MY_ motorcycle with some red-headed bimbo dressed in next-to nothing."

A look of confusion fell into place, "I'm sorry, did you just say you had a _dream_ that I did this?"

She came over to smack him on the arm, "_How could you_? I woke up from that horrible nightmare with tears on my face. What the hell were you thinking?"

Jasper held his hands up in surrender, "Baby, I didn't actually do anything. It was a nightmare. I wouldn't…"

Turning on her heel, Bella stomped off to the counter to grab the rest of the waiting plates, "Not listening, Hale."

Jasper looked helplessly at Emmett who just shrugged.

Taking a breath, he crossed the room to where Bella was serving up food to another customer and lowered himself onto his knees by her side.

Bella looked over and rolled her eyes, "What are you doing?"

"Bella Swan, I just wanted to apologize for whatever stupid thing my dream self did and beg your forgiveness. I couldn't make it through the rest of the day, let alone another minute knowing I'd hurt you," came the plea with blue eyes begging for forgiveness.

Bella tried to hold onto her pissed off mood and ignore him, but his earnest words tugged at her heart until she couldn't resist the smile that had started by the dimple in her right cheek.

Huffing she looked at the man on the floor, "Get up, Jasper."

"Am I forgiven?"

"Yes, yes, now quit scaring my customers and go back to your table."

"Can I get some pancakes?" pretty lips extended into a pout, "Please, pretty please?"

She shooed him away, "Yes, yes, now go."

Allowing his body to return to full height, he leaned over and placed a kiss on Bella's cheek before turning to go back to his table.

Bella mused out loud, "I'm in love with a fool."

Jasper stopped in his tracks and turned back to see that she hadn't even realized that she had spoken out loud. Bella continued on to the kitchen, disappearing from sight and Jasper looked back at the table.

"Did she just say…?"

With a face splitting smile, Emmett piped up, "That she's in love with you?" he started that big bear of a laugh, "Oh man, Rosalie will be thrilled when I tell her."

"I…I don't know if I should…" Jasper stuttered in confusion as he replayed the words in his head.

_What was he supposed to do now?_

**A/N: Aaaaaaawwwwwww….I'm such a sucker for love and falling in love and lovely moments and love stories. All that squishy, good feelings stuff. Hope you liked it to.**

**Xoxo - Ginja**


	10. Chapter 10: Breakfast in the Booth

**Since I was up bright and early this morning, I actually got the spark to write a little, and these guys have been patiently waiting for so long that I thought they deserved a little update. Not that this is a long chapter by any means, but, it's sweet and lovely and warmed my heart better than my coffee.**

**Also, huge shout out to mist who did the lovely artwork for this little bit of fluff and leaves me such sweet words! She's fairly awesome! xoxo-Ginja**

_*** Chapter 10 - Breakfast in the Booth ***_

Saturday morning burned bright and true as Jasper sat in the booth at the Diner, nursing his second cup of coffee as Bella made her way from one table to the next, taking care of everyone's needs.

_She's always taking care of everyone else..._

"Are you afraid if you blink, she'll disappear?"his sister teased from across the table.

Tearing his eyes away from the swish of a brunette ponytail that he had been watching swing with abandon as she carried trays of food out to waiting customers, Jasper met Rosalie's easy going smile with one of his own.

"Sorry...I didn't realize I had drifted off there," Jasper offered by way of explanation.

"It's okay, I don't mind. I'm rather fond of her myself."

Jasper rubbed his thumb thoughtfully across his lower lip as he became entranced once more by the sweet smile that lit Bella's features as she joked with old Billy Black, "She's just so...her."

Rosalie laughed in response to his vague, nonsensical explanation, "Yes, she is very much her."

Rubbing his palms into his eyes to try and clear his head, Jasper didn't bother to dissuade his sister from teasing him. Bella had not once tried to breach the subject of having let it slip from her lips that she was in love with him. It was as if it hadn't registered with her brain that she had said the words aloud, and instead, life went on without another mention of confessed feelings.

That night after dinner was eaten, the dishes done and Bella had retired to her painting room, Jasper had grunted to himself with a nod, 'I_t's better that way...we can just keep going along like we always have, nothing has to change...I don't even know what to do with love...I'd probably just fuck it up.'_

Except it wasn't okay. It wasn't okay when he tried to sleep and wanted nothing more to cross the distance between her house and the garage to curl around her in sleep. It wasn't okay when he kissed her at the Diner in the mornings before heading out with the guys and part of him wanted three little words to go with the sweet taste of her lips.

He was smitten.

He was drowning.

He was thriving.

He was in love.

"Emmett told me what she let slip the other morning," Rosalie spoke up, as if she could read the thoughts currently occupying the mind of the man she was sharing breakfast with.

Paying attention to his table companion once more, Jasper allowed himself a little curiosity, "Did he?"

Smiling, Rosalie nodded her head, and in that moment, with the tiny dimple coming out to play on her left cheek, blue eyes sparkling with joy and the morning sun casting a long ray on her blonde hair forming that almost angelic halo on the top of her head, Jasper found himself staring at the little girl that he used to share his every secret with.

The one who shared her Halloween candy with him, and snuck into the living room on Christmas Eve to open presents while the rest of the house slept, and the one who slipped her tiny eight-year-old hand in his at the side of their mother's grave during her funeral, neither one being able to see past their tears but finding strength in clinging to each other.

Make that two women in his life that he loved with a fierce passion. They had him wrapped tight, heart and soul - one his blood, the other one-half of what felt whole.

"So..." Rosalie giggled, waiting for him to give her something she could work with," Did you ask her about it? Did she say anything else?"

Jasper swirled the last drops of coffee around in the bottom of his cup, clearing his throat, "Um, no. She hasn't even acknowledged she said anything."

"Hhhmmmm...I wonder if she realizes what she said, if she knows she's in love with you," Rosalie popped a green grape in her mouth, biting down on the taught skin of the fruit, letting the tang of juice hit her taste buds, "Did you tell her you loved her? Throw her a line? Let her know she isn't in this alone?"

"What?" Jasper dropped the cup on the table with a loud clatter, scrambling to right the piece of porcelain while watching as his sister mischievously popped another piece of fruit into her mouth, "Who said anything about me being in love?"

"Oh, Jaz, you're so precious. Did you forget who you were talking to? I can see it as clear as day on your face. You're in love with her, and it's fantastic! I've never seen you like this in all our years, even when you were certain, without a doubt, that you were going to marry that little red head in your fourth grade class. What was her name? LeeAnn? Lindsey?"

"Lauren," he supplied the answer she was searching for, his mind recalling red cork screw curls bound in a green ribbon and tiny freckles on pudgy cheeks, "I think she's married to Tyler now."

"Yeah, I think you're right. But you're trying to avoid the topic at hand. She loves you, Jasper. I may have only known Bella for a few years, but that girl might as well be my sister, she's that important to me. And, you're not the first man that's ever expressed interest."

Jasper narrowed his eyes in alert attention at this new piece of information. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a couple of young frat boys flirting with the girl in question, and his inner cave man growled before grunting _MINE._

"Guys have tried dating her, and she's polite, even taking in a movie or two. But nothing more, and in return, they get tired of her keeping them at arm's length, in the friend zone and move on," Rosalie explained, "But you? The two of you...just fit. Like she was biding her time, waiting for you to show up so she could step into the next phase of her life. And in turn, she brings out the best in you. Love. You're both in over your heads whether you want to continue being stubborn and not admitting it is your problem."

Considering the matter settled, Rosalie returned her attention to the remaining items on her plate before stopping to rub the top of her belly. Jasper looked over with concern.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes, he or she is just getting a little restless, being cooped up in such tiny living quarters. Want to feel?"

Jasper got up from his side of the table and scooted into the booth beside his sister before placing a nervous hand on her round tummy. It wasn't long before something rather pointy bumped up against his palm. Eyes round with wonder, Rosalie just laughed at his shocked expression.

"Cool, huh?"

"There's a person... there's really a person in there."

Rosalie giggled uncontrollably at having caught her older brother off guard, "Well I certainly hope so, otherwise, I'm just packing on some serious pounds!"

"You're going to be a mom."

Resting her head on his shoulder and lacing her fingers with his, she whispered, "I am...do you think I'll do okay? I mean, I don't remember much of mom, that was so long ago...I just worry that maybe I don't know enough...that I'll mess it up."

"Rosie," Jasper placed a gentle kiss on her soft, sun-kissed hair, "You always took such good care of me. You'll be a natural at this. I know it."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

Bella had folded up her apron and placed it in her locker in the back, had checked with the kitchen to make sure they had everything they needed for the lunch rush that would inevitably happen on a Saturday before making her way out to where her best friend and the man who captured her heart were seated. Jasper had moved over to his sister's side of the booth at some point and was staring down at his lap where his sister had her hand locked with his. He looked as though a tear was trying very hard to escape from faded denim eyes, while Rosalie appeared to be napping. Bella's heart stuttered and swelled with the love she felt for these two, and she wiped her fingers at her own eyes that were starting to shed tears of their own. Jasper felt her stare and looked up, a gentle smile gracing his face.

"Hey," Bella slid in the booth across from him, whispering, "I think she may be sleeping."

A grumpy feminine voice interrupted, "I am not, Swan, I'm just resting my eyes till you finished your shift."

"You need a lift home?"

Yawning, Rosalie grinned at her friend, "No, Emmett's picking me up. I know you two have plans to take the bike out today. I think the weather is going to be beautiful, but I think I'll just go home and take a nap."

Looking out the window, Bella could see Emmett's black F150 pull in the lot.

"Look's like your prince is right on time," she teased.

"Yep, he takes pretty good care of me, because he loves me and stuff. Kind of like you and Jasper, yeah?"

Cheeks heating at Rosalie's words, Bella looked over at the man by Rosalie's side and found that he seemed both amused and interested as to what her response would be.

"Yeah, something like that."

Sliding out from the table, the trio made their way to the exit. Jasper opened the door to the pickup cab and made sure Rosalie was safe and secure before taking Bella's hand and walking her over to the Red Beast.

"You two are kind of adorable," she remarked.

Jasper shrugged off the compliment, "She's my sister."

"Oh no. You're not playing this one off. I've seen siblings, and they don't all act like you two. You adore each other, and I think it's sweet."

"She's always taken care of me," Jasper scratched the back of his neck, eyes burning, "She didn't have to, but she's been mothering me for longer than I can remember."

"I think you take care of each other," Bella mused before deciding to move on to less serious subjects, "Ready to ride?"

Catching the wicked grin on her face, Jasper opened up the door to the rusted red truck, "Absolutely. Wherever you go, I'll follow."


	11. Chapter 11: Professions of Love

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the world of Twilight and I get nothing in return. This is merely a fictitious journey of my own making.**

**Guess what? I get to rate this chapter M for some lemony love! Hooray! I feel like it has taken FOREVER to get here, people. For real. Enjoy!**

_*** Chapter 11 – Professions of Love ***_

After a quick trip home to change out of her work clothes, Bella walked her Black Honda Rebel 250 out of the garage, the sun catching little threads of red that were woven through the braid that extended down her back. Sporting a faded black t-shirt, her curves wrapped in denim, she checked over her two-wheeled metal baby. Jasper watched her inspect the cables, take a peak in the gas tank and make sure the oil level was where it should be with competence.

"This doesn't seem to be something Chief Swan approved," he mused out loud as Bella cleaned the mirrors before gathering up her things to return to their rightful places in the garage.

She flashed a mischievous smile his way, "It really isn't, but kind of falls under the 'sorry, but I am an adult' category. When he realized he wasn't going to scare me out of getting on one of these with gruesome pictures and videos of crashes, he insisted that our family friend teach me the proper way to ride. At first, Jake just took me out on his machines, but once it was evident that my love for having a purring engine between my legs wasn't going to disappear, he also helped me purchase this guy."

"It's a guy?"

Coming to a stop in front of him, she let her fingers drift down his chest before pulling on one of the belt loops of his jeans, "I thought I made it pretty obvious that I like men, but maybe you need some clarification?"

Bella was the one to initiate the kiss this time and she was also the one to let her tongue slide across his lower lip, taking control and asking to invade his space, to share a moment's breath locked together. Still holding onto his waist, muscled arms slid over top of hers, closing her in an embrace while his hands found rest on her ass, kneading the flesh there. She dropped her head back so he could nibble the side of her neck, moaning at the attention.

"We need to get going," she suggested.

"Sssshhh…" he whispered before capturing her lips in another kiss.

Allowing a few more minutes to pass, Bella broke away demanding, "Jasper Hale, remove your hands from my rear and put that helmet on your head. We are going for a ride."

Knowing she'd flipped her switch back over to the sassy, take charge side, he tried to will away the rush of blood that was centered in one hard and neglected location.

"You realize you're killing me right," he motioned at his groin.

Blush heating her cheeks, she apologized, "I'm sorry, J, I didn't mean to be such a tease, honest, I just got caught up and I really wanted to take you out…"  
"Bella, it's… fine, just give me a minute," he waved off her words.

Busying herself with locking up the house and grabbing her own helmet, she climbed on the bike and waited for him to follow. Taking care not to shift too much against him when he had wrapped his body around hers, she kicked the bike into gear and headed out into the fresh air and open road.

Together, they twisted through shades of emerald, making their way along tree lined country roads. Bella kept her eyes focused on the road ahead of her, as always finding a soothing rhythm in the vibration of the engine, but there was a touch of security found in strong arms wrapped around her as she drove them miles away from home.

Stopping at a road side barbeque joint, they shared an order of messy barbeque sauce drenched ribs sitting across from each other at a rough wooden table covered with a plastic red and white checkered tablecloth. Up tempo country music played in the background, as Bella listened to Jasper share memories of growing up with Rosalie. Her failed attempts at cooking after their mother had passed away until she started to get the hang of things, the awkwardness of how he tried to comfort her when she got her first period in middle school without a woman in the house to share the news with.

"How terribly awkward!" Bella laughed at the memory, "You poor kids, especially Rose!"

"Rose? What about me? I was only 15 at the time! Do you know what 15-year-old boys are like? We do not want to acknowledge those sorts of things, and here I have this 12-year-old in tears and I don't have the first clue how to fix her!"

"Yet, you survived," she slid her hand over his, breath catching at soft blue eyes and a rugged chin covered in shadow. She wanted to run her fingers through that hair of his as he lay next to her in bed at night, watching him drift off into sleep.

"Yeah, we managed," he shrugged with an easy grin.

"You ready to head back? I want to stop and show you something."

Sliding out of the booth first, he held his hand out, "Yes, m'am."

Bella swung her legs over the rock wall, taking a seat on the edge, looking out over the valley laid out before them, shadows stretching in the light of the setting sun. Here and there, you could spy a few cows or a country home. A cool breeze brushed across her cheek and she didn't say anything when Jasper took the space next to her, but just let him take her hand in his while silently he took in the view himself.

"It's beautiful."

She nodded, "I like to look down at those houses and imagine what life looks like in them. I never spent time on a farm growing up. But I'm curious, what's their story? Is there a mom making home-cooked meals and a table full of boys and girls that are worn out from doing their chores? An old married couple, celebrating 50 years of bringing in the harvest together?"

"That's quite the active imagination you've got there," he observed.

She turned her head towards him, brushing the strands of hair that were tickling across her face in the wind, "What's your story, Jasper? Why did you leave?"

Fighting back the knee jerk reaction to shut down, he looked into her warm brown eyes and tried to take some strength from the care he saw in them.

"I guess it started with my dad. I'd say we're a little too much alike, both head strong, wanting to be in control, know what's best, and what Alex Hale thought was best for his son was to take over the family business. He tried his damndest to groom me for the work ahead, introduce me to his friends and contacts, but he never listened when I tried to explain that I didn't want it. In fact, I didn't know what I wanted, but then again, I wasn't allowed to try and figure it out. Summers I was expected to work at the office, my senior year, he wanted me to do a work study, college focus would most certainly include business administration."

"Rosalie hated that we fought, but she couldn't figure out what side she was supposed to pick – she didn't want to upset our dad by speaking up on my behalf, and she tried more than once to try and talk me into just going along with his plans in order to keep the peace. I realize that she was younger and shouldn't have had to get between us, but it made me so mad that she wanted me to sell out to Alex's demands."

He had released Bella's hand and was rubbing his palms down the front of his jeans, forming fists that rested on his knees, he spoke out into the night air, "Then Alice showed up and she was wild inside and out. Not one to go along with social expectations, her clothes were crazy, her hair a spiky mess of black infused with hot pink. Needless to say, she did not fit into the conservative Hale household. And she opened my eyes to the fact that I was an adult, I wasn't beholden to anyone, I was my own man. Anytime my dad and I would fight, she would seduce me with her body and tempt me with whispered dreams of hitting the road and leaving everyone behind. The more time I spent with her, the tighter the cord inside me twisted until I snapped. I demanded the trust my dad had set up for me with the money from my mother's death, and I took off. I wish I could say I felt really bad for leaving Rose behind, but at the same time, she had Em, she didn't really need me for much anymore and she would never tell my dad he was wrong, so she became part of the enemy."  
He had drifted away to the corner of his mind that held all that had happened and she watched him wander through the portraits of the past.

"Where did you go?"

"Well, we hit a little bit of everywhere. Flew to New York and settled into a penthouse suite, took off for the West Coast and hit LA, a short time in Chicago and down to Miami. Wherever we went, there was plenty of drugs and alcohol and sex. At first, I had tried to do exactly what I set out to do – find a career, something I was interested in and make a name for myself, but Alice grew bored of the whole thing. Not enough excitement in trying to be responsible, she lived for the thrill of the high. We spent a few weeks completely baked in Jamaica. Hell, I don't remember half that trip."

"After awhile, the money started to thin out and I grew tired of having no roots, just partying all the time. We started to argue, I caught her going out behind my back, and that got me to picking fights. I enjoyed that, the release of all the rage and anger I was holding inside me. She spent all our money on a stash of pills, I got pissed and went on a three day drinking bender that including some guy trying to smash my face in and getting dumped out onto the street. When I woke up in an alley, strung out and hungry and homeless, I had finally reached the point of desperation that I was willing to drag my ass home and beg my father for anything he was willing to throw my way. You were there, you know the rest."

"And, now?"

"Now? Now what? I mean, I know I'm doing better with the work thing, and somehow I lucked out in tricking you to spend time with me. Things with Rosalie are getting better, and my dad and I can occupy the same room, but…"  
"But what, Jasper?"

"I don't know, I just keep waiting for the bottom to fall out. Dad will hold me accountable for all the money I lost, Rosalie and Emmett won't want their child around me if they ever find out what really happened and, someday, you'll probably wake up and realize you could do so much better than me."

Bella's anger burned hot, having reached the breaking point, "Geesh, Jasper, get off the cross already, somebody else needs the wood! When is it ever going to end, this playing the loser, always so determined that you aren't worth anything? The only thing we've tried to do is welcome you back with open arms, and yet you can't let go!"

She forced herself off the wall, dropping her head back and staring at the evening sky, frustration etched into her features.

"Why, Bella, what have I ever done to deserve forgiveness?"

"Have you tried telling them you're sorry? I think you'd be surprised to find that they'd give you whatever pardon you asked for," arms stretched out, she continued, "We love you! All of us, we love you, Jasper. Can't you accept that?"

He stared at her, trying to analyze this proclamation of love, weighing its meaning, if it was merely a deep friendship or something more.

"You love me?"

Walking over to stand between his legs, Bella placed her hands on the sides of his face, letting her thumbs trace under his hollow eyes, "I love you because you'll never judge me for what I've done in the past. I love you because you take care of me when I can't take care of myself. I love you for opening doors, and washing dishes with me and foot rubs. I love you because you never complain when I leave you alone to work on a painting. I love you because you make me smile and laugh and you pierce my heart with how much you love my best friend, and because you work so hard to be perfect for all of them, trying to win their approval. But, Jasper, I can't let this go on, this self destruction. There's life beyond brokenness, you just have to go after it."

"I know I love you," He drew her in with arms wrapped around her waist, "but I don't know if I'm any good at this relationship thing."

She smiled crookedly, "Well, good thing then that I'm so taken with you, I'll make it easy. You just keep doing what you're doing and we'll find our way through together. Sound good?"

"Yes"

He drew her in for a gentle kiss, but it had barely started when she pushed herself back, a look of concern on her face, "Jasper, I meant what I said. You need to talk to your family, and I don't know, you may even need to talk with a counselor or something. I'll always be here for you, but sometimes it helps to have a third party who has no strings to your real life, someone who can give you some perspective on things."

"Did you need that? Back when you were dealing with things?"

She nodded, "I did. I liked Rose well enough at the time, but I didn't always trust that what she was saying was the truth, when my brain kept telling me it didn't make sense, that there was no way I wasn't to blame."

Sighing he placed his forehead against hers, "Okay, I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask"

Lips met in tender touches that grew heated when Jasper's hands slid under the edge of her shirt, traveling up bare flesh and across the satin material of her bra. She wanted all of him, to be laid bare for his consumption, and she wanted it now.

But_ not_ on the side of the road.

"Jasper," she begged, "take me home?"

He looked in her eyes, alive with lust and agreed, "Home."

They pulled into the driveway, the night still a bruised purple, not quite black. Heart racing with anticipation, Bella stopped the bike and turned off the ignition, removing her helmet and Jasper followed suit. Hair still braided, he pushed it to the side, letting his lips latch onto her neck in a gentle bite, as his hand ran a path up the inside of her legs, pressing on the denim between her thighs, feeling the heat that had gathered through the material. She let her head fall back onto his chest, whimpering.

"Jasper," Bella begged, "Please don't make me wait…"

He chuckled darkly, "Mmmm, now who's the tease?"

Letting fingers moved toward the button closure and undoing it, sliding the zipper down and exploring skin exposed, her pitch raised, "Please…"  
Sliding off the machine, he held out a hand to her unsteady form. Two sets of eyes on fire as they burned away the barrier that had been in place for so long. Fumbling fingers placed the key in the lock, as his hand continued to find their way under her clothes, tracing circles around nipples strained against fabric, causing her head to spin and her eyes to lose focus on the task at hand.

Dropping the helmets on her kitchen table, she pulled him to her, crashing her lips to his. He pressed her up against the wall, and she pulled and tugged at his shirt till he took it off, letting it fall to the floor and demanding that hers do the same.

Sliding nails down muscle, tracing the hardened lines of his back, she placed open mouth kisses along his shoulder while he hooked his hands in her jeans and dropping to his knees, slid the material down her legs, leaving it with the rest of their clothes.

Letting his nose trace the soft skin below her navel, one hand tensed on her hip while the other dipped beneath satin to find liquid heat waiting for him to explore, tracing a path between the folds of velvet flesh, her body quivering as he pushed into her, her hands tugging at his hair.

"Yes, yes, yes, so good," she chanted, parting her legs and sliding down the wall slightly to grant him entrance.

In a moment of passion, gentle turned textured and her panties were forced down her legs so his tongue could dip into the liquid that had coated his fingers, causing Bella to arch away from the wall as his fingers returned, demanding a response to their attention, pushing that sweet spot and pulling her orgasm from her lips. Panting, she stood in only her bra, flesh feverish from the way Jasper had played her with skill.

Picking her up, he carried her down the hall to her room and placed her on the bed quickly before stripping away his clothes, cock weeping with relief at having been freed, the veins drawing lines of attention in satin skin thick and hard, begging for release.

Bella spread her legs eagerly in anticipation, pussy still slick and shiny, as he settled on top of her, the engorged head of his dick dipping into her opening immediately and her muscles instinctively closed around it in a kiss. Sapphire blue eyes staring into her soul, Bella bound herself to him, trusting him to lead the way to what they needed. Pushing forward, both refused to break contact, keeping their gazes locked, watching how pupils dilated and constricted in response to every inch of flesh joined in union.

"Home," he claimed.

"Home," she welcomed.

Hands on either side of Bella's head, he rolled his hips into her, rhythm steady as she rushed forward to meet his next move, greedy for all that he had to give. Allowing one hand to slide down her side, Jasper took hold of one of her legs, pushing it towards her as he angled in again, covering more ground with the next thrust and causing them both to moan. Finding the perfect fit, movement gained momentum, and Bella grabbed the edge of the mattress over her head as he pushed her into the bed. Standing at the brink as long as she could, she tumbled into ecstasy, her name on his lips as he spilled into her, a moment of fingers digging into flesh as both lost hold of reality and were consumed by pleasure.

Releasing his hold, Bella wrapped her legs around his waist, refusing to let him go as he leaned forward and placed lingering kisses on her lips.

"God, I love you, Bella," he whispered, "so much."

Feeling her lips curve in a brilliant smile, she whispered in return, "Jasper, I love you as well."

Rolling onto his side, he allowed the moonlight from the window to paint her skin in a palette of silver, tracing the edge of a feather that was inked into her side. He couldn't see the script underneath clearly enough to read.

"What does it say?"

Letting her fingers have their way with the curls surrounding his face, she answered, "What if I fall? _Oh, but my darling, what if you fly_?"

Indeed.

**A/N: Yep, I'm a little over the moon happy at having the chance to finally put these two together. Thanks for the love, people. I hope you shared a few smiles and sighs and moments of joy sharing this chapter with our favorite pair! Xoxo - Ginja**


	12. Chapter 12: Home

**Disclaimer: Twilight is the creation of Stephenie Meyer and I in no way profit from this work of fiction.**

**A/N: So, I can't even remember when I last updated this story. Thanks to those of you patient enough to stick around.**

**Rated M as always for a reason, this chapter's no different though it is really, really short. Just a little Jasper snippet for the most part.**

_*** Chapter 12: Home ***_

In the early morning hours, the sun had yet to make its grand entrance and therefore the world was a mixture of black and white that had blended into shades of grey. Jasper rested on his side, head propped up on one hand, taking in the dips and curves of the woman sleeping beside him. He studied the lines of ink that reached over the edge of her shoulder, swirling sweeps and curls mixed in with three large flowers that he could see were the color of blood, though what type they were, he had no clue. The tattoo spread across her shoulder blade, inching towards her spine and spilling down her back before inching over towards her rib cage. He wondered if there were any more marks her skin carried that had remained hidden under her clothing all this time.

This girl who was brave enough to free fall with him off the cliff into the unknown, having steadfast faith that they would soar into the wind together.

_Home_

Every time they connected, it was like a call and response. Was this home, this thing shared together? It had been years since he had a physical address he could claim, and he knew he could list Bella's house number and street on any document he needed to fill out.

But, home? The place you ran to when the world was too much crazy for one person to handle, the place where you found those that loved you for who you truly were, a safe haven, the space that no one else lays claim to but you and the people you loved….was this home?

He pushed through the thoughts filling up his mind and focused again on the woman he shared this room with and inhaled the still silent air wrapped around them, thick with his emotions. Yes, this love he shared with her, that he had given freely to her in words the night before was one that he saw no end to when he gazed at the horizon. It expanded and stretched, so that every decision he pondered came with the stipulation that she must somehow fit into it, she needed to be a part of where he went from here. He couldn't, nor did he want to go back to the days where she was not a part of his life.

She was _home._

Tracing a finger over the lines of ebony liquid that had been pushed beneath her skin, forever marking her body, he followed them from one starting point down, over and around to the end. He touched the tips of the red flower petals, light little caresses as Bella was pulled into the morning with him. She reached her arm around her pillow, gathering it into her body, making a comfy place to rest her head as the rest of her backed towards him, taking away the space between the two.

Tracing lips over her shoulder, Jasper slipped his hand over her hip to the apex of her thighs, teasing her flesh into opening up for him. In response, Bella allowed one leg to lift and rest on his, granting him entrance. When he tried to turn her over towards him, she merely grumbled and rolled onto her stomach, pulling him with her, until his thickening length was resting on her backside, which she wiggled suggestively against him.

Grinning at her actions, Jasper rocked against her and she spread her legs pushing back against him. His tip slid the length of her opening, finding flesh wet and warm and waiting for him, so he pushed forward entering her body slowly, wanting to take the time to just feel her wrap around him. Lifting herself upon her elbows slightly, Bella growled and moved impatiently, wanting all of him, _now._ Feeling mischievous, he held himself rigid, refusing to move as she continued to try and quicken the pace.

The morning's match of wills was put on hold when Bella's cell phone started to ring on her bedside table. Reaching out an arm blindly, Jasper swatted the phone onto the floor and flipped her over, looking down into eyes that were held tightly shut.

"Bella," Jasper demanded attention.

She squinted one eye open at him, a grumpy look on her features.

Positioning himself between her legs and moving just enough to let his still hardened length trace a path between her folds, he stated, "You are _not_ answering that phone with my dick inside you."

"Technically, you're not inside anything right this moment," she snarked in reply.

He leaned in for a kiss, but barely got a peck before she shifted her lips away.

Trying again, she blocked him with her hand, declaring, "Nuh-uh, not till I brush my teeth. I'm all for morning sex, but no mingling of tongues till I've gotten a hold of a toothbrush."

Face splitting into a grin, he pushed the head of his cock barely in before pulling away again and continued the actions, teasing her as she tried to lift her hips to meet his thrust, "You know, I always thought you were so chipper first thing in the morning, but you're actually kind of grouchy."

Pushing against his shoulders hard, so he fell away from her and onto his back, Bella straddled his body and met his eyes with the fire of annoyance, "And you are a top-of-the-morning tease, so I am taking over this morning's activities."

Laying his arms out in surrender, Jasper's head leaned back into the pillow as she lowered her body onto his, taking in his full length and letting a satisfied sigh escape her lips while her eyes closed again in delight. Leaning forward, she grabbed the bed frame behind his head, giving him a fantastic view of her breasts that had started to bounce with the roll of her hips. Staying locked in the dark space behind her eyelids, Bella let her body lead, needing only to feel the heat she shared with this man, the way he felt buried deep inside her, grinding down onto that one spot that sparked nerves and made her moan.

The phone started to ring again and vibrated across the spot on the floor where it had landed, but Bella had was locked on the mission of making "achieved orgasm" the first item on the list of things she did that day. She ignored the sound, thigh muscles tightening around Jasper's frame as she hit her peak and tumbled over, movement slowly as she let her orgasm spread throughout her system, taking in the sweet sensation of release. Bones melting into the man underneath her body, she slumped forward on his chest and made no objection when he flipped them over so he could finish the job of getting his own release. When he collapsed on top of her, she placed a quick kiss to his temple and let her fingers play with his hair.

The phone started to ring again and peeked an eye at the clock, adrenaline coursing when she took in the time – 6:35.

"Jasper, it's not even seven o'clock. Something's going on, I need to answer my phone. It could be the station calling about my dad."

Jasper leaned over the side of the bed, grabbing the phone at the end of the cord and handed it to the brunette, seeking to ease her worry.

"Hello? Emmett….Emmett, slow down. Have you left yet?...It's gonna be okay, Em, just take a breath. How far apart are her contractions?...You've got plenty of time. I'll meet you there….Yes, I'll bring Jasper. Tell Rosalie I love her, and you too." Bella smiled as she hung up the phone and jumped out of the bed, tossing the phone down and walking towards the bedroom door.

Looking over her shoulder at him, she grinned, "Get out of bed lazy! Your sister's water broke and she's in labor. It's baby day! You're gonna be an uncle!"

Making her way into the bathroom, Jasper could hear the shower start up while he let Bella's news sink in. Rose was in labor. She was going to be a mom….today…and, he was going to be there for it. Bella was right, his life was turning around for the better, there were people that he loved and loved him in return, he had a good job and friends – he could let go of the past and move forward.

Letting his feet hit the floor, Jasper mentally planted his roots deep and secure in the world that surrounded him before standing up to join Bella in the shower before heading out to the hospital.

_Home._

**A/N: Yep, I went all sugar sweetness again. But hey, our guy gets to have those little moments where he takes another step towards the light at the end of the tunnel, right? Xoxo- Ginja**


	13. Chapter 13: New Arrival

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**My last chapter hit right around 1500 words. This chapter is only slightly longer. I just keep getting small snippets of their life together, like individual photographs that I store in a memory book. I hope you guys don't mind the briefer posts, but think of each one as a step to the end. Thanks for the sweet reviews and follows. They make my day – xoxo- Ginja**

_*** Chapter 13 – New Arrival ***_

Evelyn Claire Cullen was born at 6:47 that evening.

In the weeks to come everyone would take to calling her "Evie."

She took her first trembling breath as her mother, father, and godmother watched with tears in their eyes, a moment of sweet tenderness shared in the tiny little delivery room.

Her uncle and grandparents waited patiently in the visitors' room outside the maternity ward as the minutes had turned into hours looking towards the door every time they heard it start to move, hoping to see Bella announcing the arrival of Rosalie and Emmett's daughter. They had all taken turns visiting the expectant parents throughout the day, but in the last few hours of labor, Rose had demanded that everyone leave except for her husband and her best friend.

Bella couldn't contain the grin that had spread across her face as she looked at the small group gathered in uncomfortable chairs, empty coffee cups and soda bottles littering the tiny tables alongside out-of-date magazines.

"It's a girl! And, she is absolutely perfect!"

Everyone jumped up out of their seats and shared hugs and laughter as they crowded around Bella's tiny phone screen, cooing over the pictures of the precious bundle of joy tucked tightly in a hospital blanket, tiny eyes open and staring at her father, his massive finger held captive in his daughter's grip.

"How is Rosalie?" Esme inquired.

"She did really well. There was a moment there when the baby had the cord wrapped around her neck and her heart rate dipped slightly, but other than that, no problems."

Jasper tucked Bella into his side, staring fixedly down at the screen, "She looks so tiny. I've never really thought about what babies look like, but she's a lot prettier than I expected." 

Bella peeked at what he was looking at, seeing that Rose was talking to her newborn child, the picture of a new mother head over heels in love with her baby, "Yes, well, your entire family tends to be rather attractive, so I can't say I'm surprised that the newest addition got some of those genes."

"They're all okay?"

"Perfect, Jasper, it couldn't have gone better," Bella brushed the hair out of his eyes, scratching at the stubble that lined his jaw since he hadn't shaved that morning in an effort to get them to the hospital quicker, "Once they get Rose settled into her room, we can all take turns going back to see them. She's tired and they'll all need their rest, but we can take a few minutes before we head out. Wanna take a walk down to the soda machine with me? Food and drink have been a little scarce back there."

Taking her hand in his, they made their way to the vending area and then walked outdoors onto the garden patio area, enjoying the fresh evening air.

"Good day?"

"Very good day," Bella responded, squeezing the fingers that were laced with hers gently, stopping to pull him in for a kiss.

Closing her eyes and resting her head over his heart, she leaned against him, taking in the warmth of his body, the protective shield that his arms around her formed, enjoying the quiet resting place he provided.

"Jasper?"

"Hm?"

"You won't be returning to the garage will you?"

He pulled back a little to look down, "I hadn't really thought about it. Is that what you want?"

"I don't think I'll sleep very well anymore with you in a different bed, and, seeing as I would rather not come to you and try and squeeze onto that futon, I figured you would move in with me. It's not that much of a change really, just a few hundred feet difference in locations…" she reasoned. 

"Technically, no, the mathematical distance isn't much of a change, but I'm not sure you're going to be able to get rid of me once you let me in the house. Are you okay with that?"

Her grin was quick to respond, "Absolutely"

"Then I am yours for the keeping, Ms. Swan, but I'm bringing my own blankets. You tend to steal all the covers. Who knew you were so stingy and unwilling to share?"

She smacked his arm playfully, "I am not!"

"My toes that were little icicles at 3 o'clock this morning would beg to disagree."

"Maybe you should wear socks."

Wiggling his eyebrows lecherously, Jasper teased, "That seems a little weird, a naked man wearing nothing but a pair of socks, but if that's what does it for you…" 

She gaped at him, "Who says you get to be naked in my bed?" 

"Oh, there has to be some benefits to this new arrangement," He teased, sliding a hand under the hem of her t-shirt, letting the tips of his fingers trace a path up and down her sides. Bella all but purred in response as he lowered his lips and barely touched them to hers, feeling her slightly panting breath against his flesh, "and I prefer you without socks, darlin'. In fact, I like to have as much of your body available to my hands and my mouth and whatever else I feel in the mood for, each and every night. Does that sound agreeable to you?"

She nodded mutely, her lips bouncing against his with the movement and he smiled wickedly in response before capturing them with his own, drawing a small whimper from her throat. Bella's head swam dizzily, heat seeming to roll off Jasper in waves to the point that she forgot they were basically groping each other on a sidewalk outside a public building. Pulling away, she shook her head, trying to clear her senses and regain her footing.

"We should probably go back up now."

He watched with amusement the dazed look on her features, "Whatever you say." 

"I think you may be just a little bit full of yourself, Hale."

"I'd go more with confident in my abilities," Jasper smirked back.

Crossing her arms to break all contact from him, Bella challenged, "You think you have some sort of talent or skills that I'd find useful?"

Leaning forward to whisper in her ear, he countered, "I think we could probably find some dark closet in this hospital where I could slide my fingers into those pretty little black panties you're wearing right now and see whether or not my 'abilities' are useful to you, Ms. Swan. Would you like for me to find out the answer to your question?"

Return sharply to an upright position, letting the night air fall back round her, Jasper watched with a twinkle in his eye as her cheeks flamed red. Her mouth gaped open and closed, grabbing for a response and finding none. She finally huffed and turned away, striding purposefully back towards the building. He chuckled, watching her cute little ass sway with each step and followed. 

The couple ran into Carlisle and Esme as they were heading out for the night, having visited with the new parents. The older woman embracing both of them in a hug as they agreed to the offer to have dinner at their place one night soon.

Making their way down the neutral-tone colored hallway towards Rosalie's room, Bella mused at how dull and boring the framed generic prints were that littered the walls. Her artist's mind started outlining murals of flowers in swirls of color, the rounded lines echoing the female forms of the women who stayed in this particular wing of the hospital. Maybe they'd consider allowing her to do it, if she fronted the cost, anything to make the space more comfortable for the patients here. She placed the idea on her mental to-do list.

Knocking quietly on the door and hearing, "Come in!" in return, Jasper and Bella entered the darkened hospital room, the only light coming from the fluorescent tube bulb that was humming over the head of Rosalie's bed. Emmett was leaning against the window frame, eating out of a take out container filled with what looked like pasta. He nodded his head and smiled at their new guests. Alex was in the corner of the room, his tall frame filling the wooden rocking chair, a tiny pink bundle in his arms as he was talked quietly to baby Evie. Rosalie was sitting up in her bed, face free of makeup and slightly pale, but nevertheless full of happiness over the day's events.

Jasper leaned over to hug his sister and place a kiss on her forehead, and she pulled him down to snuggle by her side in the hospital bed. Side by side, he held Rosalie's hand with IV still attached in his, while his left arm draped over her head. Together they watched their father now making silly faces at a barely coherent infant, as if at any moment, the grown man expected the newborn to smile in response. Jasper just shook his head in disbelief at his father's comical behavior.

Looking down at the woman by his side, he saw she was smiling, "This is the best day." 

"I have to agree, it is a pretty good one."

"All my favorite men in one place, my best friend and my daughter. You know, now the numbers are even with a third girl added to the party. Doesn't get much better than this."

Hearing his children talking to one another, Alex got up from his seat and made his way over to Jasper, "Care to meet the newest princess, Uncle?"

Jasper awkwardly accepted the child from his father and shifted her in his arms till he found a place that was comfortable. Now sleeping, he examined the baby's tiny white blonde eyelashes and itty bitty nails that tipped the teeny fingers she had curled against her cheek. He couldn't see if she had hair, as her head had been tucked into a lilac crocheted cap. Eyes moving beneath closed eyelids, her tiny lips puckered into a frown and he took a single finger to trace down her cheek as she sighed and settled down peacefully.

"She's beautiful, Rose." 

"Mmmm, yes, she is," Rosalie peeked over her brother's arm at her sleeping daughter, "You know, I bet you and Bella would make some pretty babies."

Choking a startled cough in response to his sister's question, he shushed the infant who had frowned at being jostled, "Rose, we've only just decided to move in together, I'm fairly certain we're not ready for kids just yet."

Rosalie's grin was quick as she looked at Bella excitedly, "Jasper's moving in with you?"

Alex stifled his questions over whether this was a good idea, looking from Jasper to Bella and watching their feelings for one another stitch invisible bonds between the two. He'd voiced his opinion in the past and that had led to disaster, maybe now would be a good time to take a step back and let his children choose their own paths.

Bella nodded in response, coming to stand by Jasper so she could take a peek at Evie.

"Oh, this is fabulous! See, J, best day ever!" She gushed excitedly before starting to tear up, "I just love you both so much."

"Whoa, Rosie, what's wrong?" Jasper searched his sister's crying face frantically.

"Nothing, I'm just so happy and I still have all these pregnancy hormones. Don't worry, I'm fine."

Emmett coming over to hug his wife and wipe away her tears, smiled at the other couple, "Glad you could both share this day with us." 

Jasper let the words sink in, briefly wondering how he could have ever thought being on his own could compare to the love in this room, "Me too, man."

Evie started to wail in her sleep, lower lip trembling and Jasper looked lost as to what to do.

"She probably just needs to eat," Rosalie suggested.

Handing her over to her mother, Bella whispered that now would be a good time to head out. Together, they wished the new parents the best and promised to come back and visit the next day with the 'good food' that Rosalie demanded. Pinkies entwined, they swung their arms back and forth as they headed towards the main lobby. Jasper came to a halt outside a door marked 'Janitor' and looked askance at Bella.

"Sure you don't want to make a quick stop?"

"You're hopeless. I'm starving. Let's go get some Chinese and head home." 

Jasper smiled at her suggestion, "Home it is."

With the welcoming of little Evie to the family, the number of visits Jasper and Bella made to Emmett and Rosalie's house increased greatly. At first, Bella just wanted to give Rosalie a chance to focus on being a new mom, so she tried to help by providing meals and picking up around the house. Jasper often came along and would steal his niece away from her mother, sending Rose off for a nap so he could indulge his need for a 'baby fix.'

Evie had wrapped her uncle around her little finger, and so Jasper became tethered once more to another woman in his life, his need to love and care for them a moving force behind his actions.

While Emmett would tease him about being at the beck and call of all three girls, Bella counted herself lucky that she had found a man who was strong, dependable and yet gentle and loving. It was the perfect mix to her, and her heart melted every time she heard him reading stories to Evie or singing to her over the monitor while he changed her. It made her ovaries itch to provide him with a baby of their own making, and while she wasn't quite willing to jump on board with that plan, she certainly enjoyed the practice sessions they had on the 'making' part of the equation.

Sunday family dinners were happy events, the grey cloud of the past finally making its way across the sky, letting the sun shine down on the little group gathered at the table.

Alex would watch the way Jasper would whisper something in Bella's ear at the table causing her to erupt in a fit of giggles and Rosalie would give her brother the evil eye as she accused him of making fun of her and demanded that he share what was so funny with the rest of the table. The years that his son had been missing from the picture had been rough, and he had been tempted to write Jasper off as a lost cause, never to return. But his heart had refused to give up hope, and he would sit in his child's bedroom, staring at the posters on the wall and books on the shelf, whispering fervent prayers into the air that whoever was running things up there would keep an eye out on his child. Never in his wildest dreams had he allowed himself to imagine the picture of that was now his reality.

Clearing the dishes and listening to Esme give Rosalie advice on how to help Evie sleep through the night, Bella volunteered to get the front door when the doorbell sounded. Walking to the foyer and swinging open the door to greet the stranger who was standing on the front steps, Bella found herself faced with a petite young woman with hair so black it must come from a bottle, lips painted bright red and kohl rimmed eyes.

"Hello, can I help you?"

The woman looked her up and down, seeming to examine Bella and search for some sort of recognition, "I was told by Jessica that I might find Jasper here. I know the Hales always love family dinners on Sundays."

Looking questioningly at the stranger who was obviously familiar with the family, but had never made an appearance in the few years she'd lived here, Bella replied, "He's out back with his father. Would you like to come in? I could go get him for you."

"That would be lovely." 

Moving to the side, so she could enter the house, Bella felt a chill down her spine as she watched the girl pass, as if she had opened the home to a very real evil. Shaking off the goose bumps that had risen on the skin of her arms, she asked politely, "Can I give him your name?"

Grinning like a cat that had just slaughtered a nest of baby birds for her lunch, a voice slick like black oil slid across the floor and upwards to Bella's ears, "Oh just a friend from the past, dear, tell him Alice has come for a visit."

With the introduction complete and Bella's heart pounding in her ears, she watched Alice place a hand on the abdomen of her flowing black dress, making the very protruding bump that was covered earlier stand out.

So, this was the infamous Alice.

Correction, this was the very pregnant Alice.


	14. Chapter 14: Negotiations

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight and I do not receive any sort of monetary compensation for this writing, I merely do it for my personal enjoyment. **

**So, Alice is back on the scene with a little something extra as well. What's gonna happen to Jasper &amp; Bella? Hang in there, readers, I'm not going to tear everything down in a blaze of glory. Have a little faith and read on. ; )**

_*** Chapter 14 - Negotiation ***_

In the midst of a room filled with people, Alice sat smugly on the singular chair that faced the overstuffed couch and love seat, a queen holding court as she watched the other people twist in the wind unsure of how to process the current situation, adrift in the midst of an unexpected situation, unable to find something to hold onto. She didn't bother to release them from their struggle with any fragment of information, choosing instead to sit patiently, letting the air grow heavy with tension as everyone remained silent.

Oh, this day was turning out to be far more satisfying than she had originally hoped. Internally, Alice rubbed her hands together as the taste of blood from wounds she had yet to inflict lay salty-sweet on her tongue as she slid it alongside the inside of her teeth, feeling the ridges of each enameled surface begging to sink deep into the man sitting across from her, the one who had left her in that dirty motel room with a few hundred bucks and nothing more. Hatred spread in razor-sharp shards like newly formed ice crystals in her veins as she gazed at a face that was fuller, healthier than the last time she had walked away from him, the scalding red palm print of her hand still emblazoned on his cheek.

How dare he move on and start putting the pieces back together, prettily framed, cracks glued together barely showing while she had struggled, not realizing for several weeks that her body was harboring an unwelcome fugitive.

Bella nervously switched her gaze from man to woman, her mind racing down the list of ways this day could possibly end and praying that Jasper would be able to hold himself together instead of sliding back down into the pit. She silently willed him to grab onto the sturdy roots of the life he had started here, that he would trust in what they had built together enough that it could shelter him in the midst of the violent storm that currently occupied the same room. Clenching her hands tightly together, rubbing the knuckles of her right fingers with her left thumb in an attempt to try and find release for the tight coil of worry that was threatening to snap, Bella wondered who would be the first to break the silence.

Rosalie was trying to murder the woman seated across from her with mental daggers that were aimed at the perfect bull's-eye she had imagined over the gaping black hole where Alice Brandon's heart should have been. That bitch who had come slithering in from the past now sat with a self-satisifed smirk as she stared at the members of her family. Nostrils slightly flared and jaw clenched shut, Rosalie didn't even bother to see how Alice's presence was affecting her brother, so all-consuming was her hatred. Feeling the sharp pinch of her own nails digging into the flesh of her palms, she forced her fingers to release and tried without success to calm herself down.

Alex watched both of his children, not paying much attention to the Brandon girl who'd ruined their lives when she had seduced Jasper from his home all those years ago. She was of little consequence to him unless she tried pulling his son from his side again. No, he was more concerned with Jasper who had paled considerably at the mention of Alice's arrival and had slipped into an almost catatonic state since she'd made an overly-exaggerated effort of sitting down, clutching her swollen abdomen in the process so there was no way any member of the family could miss her current state. Flashing back to the broken, beaten child that had shown up dirty and hungry months ago, Alex was firm in his resolve that he would do everything in his power to prevent a replay of the past. With a slight frown settling between his brows, he chanced a look at Rosalie and prayed his daughter wouldn't do anything rash. It would only add to the mess that obviously needed to be sorted out if Rose acted in a way that resulted in the cops being called and charges pressed against her.

Jasper was frozen in stasis as his mind seemed overwhelmed with trying to run triage and was failing at assessing the situation, incapable of determining what should be dealt with first. _God, has Alice always looked so cold and cruel?_ Could it be that the tempting flare of danger and recklessness that had once drawn him in was a well-worn disguise for the miserable woman that sat before him now, not even attempting to feign niceties? She lacked any warmth, even while obviously carrying a child, she was….inhuman?

Child….baby…unborn baby….how many months along was she?

How long ago had it been since they had slept together? Ugly flashbacks to the way they used to live, the drug-fueled activities that he would never take part in sober stained his cheeks red with regret. Alice merely arched an eyebrow in response as if to say she could see into his mind and knew exactly what had caused his shame. Looking back now, the time they shared together was an ugly, dark thing unfit for the light of day.

Taking a breath to prepare for the coming face-off, Jasper made the first move and simply stated, "Alice."

Wanting to cackle with amusement over his awkwardness, Alice didn't give an inch of ground when she replied flatly, "Jasper."

"How did you know I was here?"

"You know Jessica, she just can't help but share what she knows," Alice shrugged and looked pointedly in Bella's direction, letting both know that she had more than a vague idea as to Jasper and Bella's relationship, "and when I ran into her a few weeks ago, she happened to let it slip that she had seen you at the movies with a new local. I must say, I am a little surprised you came crawling back to daddy, but you were never one to possess much of a spine to stand up well on your own. The streets must have tossed you around and kicked your ass."

A quick hiss of anger could be heard coming from Rosalie at the first cut Alice drew into her brother's skin, causing everyone but the tiny shrew to turn in her direction. Alice merely ignored the woman, not giving her the satisfaction of a response to the non-verbal threat. Bella resolving that she would be of no help to Jasper as long as Alice saw her as point of contention, decided to at least alleviate some of the stress of the situation ny taking herself physically out of the picture.

Crossing over to her best friend she looked Rose in the eye and reached out a hand, placing it on the tall blonde's forearm, "Come on Rose, let's go check on Evie."

"Evie's fine," Rose dismissed the offer, shrugging off Bella's hold and trying to look around her to launch another death glare in Alice's direction.

"Rose…"placing her hand back where it was and gripping harder, Bella warned with a slightly edgier tone of voice, "I think I'd like to go see her anyways, maybe you'd be kind enough to _come with me."_

"Babe, I think maybe you should go with Bella," Emmett added emphasis to the suggestion, praying that his wife would give in before she ended up attacking a pregnant woman with bare hands…claws…whatever.

With a sigh of annoyance, Rose growled at Bella who merely rolled her eyes and dragged the woman from the room, not in the direction of the guest room they used as Evie's make-shift nursery, but out the back door onto the porch. Walking over to the cooler while Rose began pacing back and forth across the porch, Bella grabbed two beers and popped the tops before handing one to her friend.

With fingers pointed to her chest, Rose explained as if Bella was an idiot, "Breastfeeding"

"You pump, right? So, give Evie a bottle and pump the tainted stuff and toss it. You need this right now before you go through with one of the many ways you've planned on executing that woman since she showed up here this afternoon," Bella explained.

"I loathe every fiber of her being, God, what a fucking bitch. Did you see the way she flaunted her way into the living room as if she were the mother-fucking queen ready to torture her disobedient servant. She'd try slicing off Jasper's balls with those whore-red talons of hers and keeping them in a jar next to her throne, if she could," Rose ranted between taking pulls off the ice cold bottle in her hand.

"And, you saw the way your brother is struggling in there too, right?"

Thrown off course for the next portion of her tirade, Rose stopped mid stride and glanced at Bella, "What?"

"Jasper? Your brother, you saw how uncomfortable he was in there and the way she was attacking him just with her presence. You did notice your brother, right?"

Cheeks pink, Rose cringed slightly, "No, I was too busy trying to wish Alice onto another planet."

Leaning against the railing and taking a swig of her own drink, Bella nodded, "Exactly, and that was the last thing Jasper needed, to worry about you when he obviously has his own shit to deal with."

"Fine, fine, Saint Bella," Rosalie dismissed any further chastisement, "I get it."

"It's not any easier on me, Rose, I love him too," Bella let her head hang down, shoulders slumped, taking a few shallow breaths, and questioning in a whispered breath, "What if he goes back to her?"

"What?! Why would he do that? Are you crazy or just insecure? He's a completely different person than he used to be when he left with Alice the first time. He's done a complete 180 from the zombie who showed up at this very house on a Sunday not too different from today, and you know that Bella. Now who's thinking of herself."

Wincing while wishing she had his sister's confidence, Bella looked sideways at Rose, "Maybe you didn't notice she was pregnant? You think Jasper won't try and go all white knight on this? His guilt will see this as a way to pay for his sins."

"Uh-uh, no fucking way I'm letting him attach himself to that harpy," Rose slammed her bottle down, a few fragrant drops of the amber liquid inside sloshing out and landing on her skin, "I will kill her. I will take her out of the equation, drop a mother-fucking house on her scrawny ass and ding dong the witch is dead!"

Grabbing on to the only humor Bella could fine, she smiled at the wild exclamations of her precious friend, knowing they loved the man inside so deeply, that they would go to extreme lengths to protect him from what had scarred him so badly, "Oh, Rosalie Cullen, I love you so much, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep from breaking down right now without you by my side."

Sliding along the rail over to her friend, the two leaning together, brunette hair mixing with blonde, they took a shared drink of their beers and stared heatedly at the house, their thoughts a swirl of uncertainty over what the outcome of the day would be.

Inside the living room, Alice sat with the three remaining men, Esme and Carlisle having left when the girl made her surprise arrival. Down the hall, the sound of Evie crying gave Emmett the prefect opportunity to make his escape from a room he wanted free of.

"The baby….I'll just go…" he stammered as he thumbed his way in the direction of the guest room that they used as Evie's make-shift nursery at her grandfather's house.

Once he had left the room, Alice gazed at the other two, noting that the last time it had been just the three of them, Jasper had been on her side. Now, it seemed, he had chosen family and blood as his companion.

Breaking the heavy silence that had dropped back down like a velvet curtain, Jasper asked quietly, "How many months along?"

Leaning back in her chair and propping one elbow up on the arm, Alice allowed a ruby-red fingernail to trace back and forth across her lower lip before answering, "Ah, I see how you're gonna play this. You want to see if the correct number of months have passed that take you out of the picture. Sorry to break it to you, Jazz, but this baby's yours, due in just a few weeks. Congratulations, Daddy Dearest."

Her final words were laced with acid, free of any sincerity or jovial tidings, sounding more like a prison sentence to Alex's ears.

Jasper refused to take the bait, squaring his shoulders, he countered, "And, how do you know this baby is mine?"

"Oooohhhh…." Alice drew out gleefully. If the bastard wanted to fight back, that was just fine with her, "You mean because you so enjoyed watching me take it from behind while I sucked you off? Or all those parties where you were pumping into some other girl while I rode her boyfriend? Thinking someone else's jizz got mixed in with yours?"

There she was, the same crude, no filter wild-child that had actually turned him on with her filthy mouth. And she was right, he had taken part in every one of those scenarios. Refusing to look anywhere near the direction of his father, he came back at her for another try.

Not denying her words, Jasper tilted a chin in the affirmative, "Unnecessary, Alice, but yes, you could say our past activities give cause for me to question paternity."

Locking eyes with him, she stated coldly, "You're the only one I ever let ride bareback, J."

"Condoms aren't fool proof, " he countered.

Sighing over this new development of a backbone, Alice realized the chance to get them to pay her to disappear might not be quite so easy. Deciding to throw out a line, she suggested, "Well, I could set up shop right here in the middle of town. I'm sure that would give the locals something to talk about. Or...you could just sign away your rights. I'd pack it up and disappear as if I were never here."

Jasper's mind was spinning, trying to figure out her game, "You mean like place the child up for adoption? Is that why you came here, so I would sign some piece of paper? What if it isn't even mine?"

Ignoring his chances of not being responsible for the alien draining the life out of her, Alice asked, "And if it is, then what? Are you wanting to set up house together in the meantime? How's daddy and your baby sister gonna feel about welcoming me in to the family?"

Secretly hoping that Alex might jump in and suggest of ways of getting rid of her, Alice dragged him into the discussion.

Jasper thought of a future with Alice permanently attached to their lives, and knew, if he'd just sign a piece of paper, he could be free. She'd be gone forever. There was nothing left for her here. Technically, it would be so easy...

But then there was the thought that right now a tiny heart beat might be half his doing, that there was life waiting that might have half his DNA.

There wasn't a question of what to do.

"I want the baby," mind made up, Jasper took the first step and jumped off into the unknown.

Every cell in Alice's body screamed in protest as her fingers gripped the chair, "What?"

Seeing that he'd knocked her off balance, Jasper took advantage and delivered another hit, "I want my son or daughter, however this has to work, I'll do it."

"You hate me, Jasper, we both know that, and honestly, after you left, I've wished you a painful death more times than I can count. You don't want to raise a child with me," she argued.

"Then don't. Give him or her to me. I'll raise my son or daughter on my own," where that idea came from, he didn't know, but Jasper knew it to be true.

Feeling a bit crazed over having lost control of things, Alice's voice was shrill as she countered, "What if it isn't yours? What then?"

"Can you honestly remember the name and location of every person you had sex with, Alice? God, I have so many black holes in my memory, it's a wonder I'm still alive. We were so fucked up, but this child doesn't need to suffer because of that. I'll give him or her more than that. I can be better than I was," Jasper's words were raw as he assured, "Whether this baby is mine biologically or not, he or she will have a father in their life."

Alex watched the exchange, thinking at first that his son's offer, while valiant was foolish. His brain begged him to interrupt the exchange and tell Jasper that it would be best if they take a moment, away from Alice, and talk about this. But, holding his tongue, he realized that Jasper was trying to make things right, was fighting to be a better man, and Alex, though more than a little nervous as to how this would end, decided to provide whatever support he could.

Back to business, Alice went back to the bargaining table, "And, what do I get in return for stepping out of the picture?"

Alex, being a businessman, recognized that particular tone of voice. She actually wanted to make a business deal in exchange for the baby.

"How much?" he interrupted, the first words he had spoken during the entire event snaring Alice's attention and pulling her face towards his.

"Two-fifty and you pay my medical expenses," she answered quickly, exposing to both men that she'd already come to this battle prepared with a figure. The money had been her end game all along.

Feeling his stomach sink at the number, Jasper clarified, "Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars?"

Knowing she had Jasper's balls in a vice, Alice waited to see if Daddy Warbucks would step in, "Mmm-hmm…"

"And if he doesn't pay?" Alex questioned.

"Well, I disappeared off the map once, I'm sure I can figure out how a second time, and I know there are lots of other couples who would do just about _anything_ for a child," she smiled innocently even as she twisted the knife in Jasper's gut.

Jasper had already conceded defeat, the pain of what was going to happen pushing in on him, stealing his breath as he accepted that he would never be able to give what she asked. He had just started working for Emmett, and while he didn't spend much these days, he sure as hell hadn't saved a quarter of a million. Alice knew as well as he where all his future inheritance had been spent. His pockets were almost empty.

"I'll contact my attorney, so you'll have to give us a day or two, but I'll make sure it's taken care of. You, of course, will sign away all rights to the child," Alex issued his demands clearly, "There will be no coming back six months or six years from now asking for more. Do you understand, Ms. Brandon?"

"Dad, I…" Jasper looked up at his father confused at having somehow lost his role as the male lead in this conversation in a span of minutes.

"Do you understand, Ms. Brandon?" Alex spoke over his child.

Alice stood up, "I think we have a deal. Congrats, Jasper, you just bought yourself a baby. I still have the number here at the house, I'll give you 48 hours and then I'll be in touch."

Making her way out of the room and towards the front door without waiting for either man to say a word, Alice walked down the drive to the where she'd hidden the beat up old Civic that she'd purchased with the money she'd made while waiting tables in that shit-hole town that Jasper had left her in. Her future had just gotten considerably brighter.


	15. Chapter 15: Aftermath

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. This is a work of fan fiction and I do not profit monetarily from it.**

_*** Chapter 15 – Aftermath ***_

Sitting in the overstuffed leather chair in his father's living room, Jasper watched the ice in his glass slowly melt, sending swirls of cool clear in liquid tendrils throughout two fingers of amber bourbon. He had heard his father get up from his seat, making his way to the front door, no doubt checking to see if Alice was well and truly gone from the premises. An audible sigh was the signal that Alex had returned to the living room accompanied by the sound of ice being deposited into two glasses along with a splash of Woodford Reserve.

Jasper held captive by the shock of the day's events remained unmoving, eyes locked on the contents of his glass. When he finally broke away from staring into the alcohol abyss, he found his father's blue eyes full of concern, the wrinkles at the corners of Alex's eyes betraying the weight of the day, and Jasper felt guilt push down on his shoulders.

"Dad….I know you have no reason to believe me, but I'll do what I have to, to pay you back…I never meant to drag you into this. I don't know what to say except I'm sorry," Jasper fumbled with trying to express just how remorseful he was over the current mess he was in, but no words seemed to add up to a price he felt was compensation for the debt he owed to the man sitting across from him once more.

"Jaz, son, I could care less about the money," Alex explained, pushing past the disbelief that was Jasper's response as he continued, "If I learned nothing else from the time you were away from us, it's the importance of having my family in my life, _all _of my family. After you walked out the door, the business kept going, the money grew in my accounts, but the days and weeks and months I spent not knowing where you were? I'd have emptied out every last penny if I knew it would bring you home sooner. If writing another check helps keep you moving down this new path in your life you've started, I'm happy to do it."

That ache that always settled under the edge of his rib cage whenever shame decided to revisit and take a stab at him seized hard and had Jasper laying his face in his hands, hiding tears of regret and relief. Here was the meeting place of joy and sorrow, the sadness for time lost and the celebration of having the steadfast love of family once more. The moment was soaked bittersweet.

Unable to watch his child endure the burden of his pain alone, Alex crossed the room to bend down on the floor in front of Jasper's folded form, embracing him in a hug, feeling salty sorrow slide down his skin showering his child's head in a healing rain for both men.

"We'll get through this together, yeah?" rough whispered words as father asked child expectantly, praying silently that the last dredges of the long-standing wall of separation could be swept away.

Nodding, Jasper squeezed his father hard, conveying his gratitude and his intent to meet the man half-way, "Together."

Secure in knowing that this would not be the last chance he had to share life with his child, Alex relaxed his hold and got back to his feet, both men wiping away the remnants of tears from their eyes.

"I need to get in touch with our family attorney, see if he can handle this meeting we have with Alice or if he has someone he recommends. The sooner we get someone working on this, the sooner we can get her to sign on the dotted line before she tries to take you for an even bigger sum of cash," with goal in sight, the experienced businessman grabbed hold of the reigns once more, logic taking the driver's seat.

"You'll let me know if there is anything I can do? I feel sort of useless, not to mention the blame for this mess falls on me."

"I'll let you know if Sam needs anything, Jasper," He polished off the contents of his own glass, placing the empty cup on the bar before turning one last time and asking, "You're sure about this, son? You're absolutely positive that you want this child, even if there's a chance it isn't yours?"

"Even if I didn't have this gut feeling that it was my child, I think I'd still say yes. I can't explain it, but I feel like I'm supposed to do this," Jasper's hands gestured to convey his inability to try and make sense out of what really made no sense at all.

"Well, then, look's like we have some work to do. You've got a baby to prepare for, and I've got to get ready for another granddaughter or grandson. I'm fairly certain your sister will go into overdrive now that there's a new baby in the family. That child will have two of everything by the end of the week!" He smiled at the thought of Sunday dinners with another baby at the table and wished that his wife had been able to see this little family of theirs grow to include another member.

Once his father left the room, Jasper inhaled deeply, feeling tenderness in his chest and shoulders from the tension that had been tightly twined into every fiber of his muscles since Alice had crept out of the shadows of the past. The evidence of the storm could surely be felt, but somehow the clouds that had threatened to dash his ship against the rocks had parted and the air was clean and smelled of promise. He continued to sit there, reveling in the weight that had been released from his soul, each breath deeper, filling up his lungs with this new reality.

The glass of bourbon untouched, Jasper took the watered down drink and dumped it in the sink before placing the empty glass next to his father's. The house was empty, save for the muffled sound of a one-sided telephone conversation drifting down the hall from Alex's office. Emmett and Rosalie had left with their daughter, when the setting sun had marked the end of the family's get together. Not wanting to interrupt Alex and Jasper finally talking, she had packed up Evie and left without saying goodbye.

The back porch was empty, the kitchen clean, and Bella was nowhere to be found. Stepping out the same front door where Alice had entered, bringing along her plan to inflict pain on him and his, Jasper looked towards the drive to find Bella sitting on the hood of her truck, eyes squinting to read the pages of the book in her lap with the only scraps of sunlight to illuminate the pages. She'd have a headache if she tried to keep it up for much longer.

Waiting…she had been waiting for him. Even though she knew not the outcome of the day, even with all its possibilities, still, she waited on him.

Hearing the sound of his steps, she looked up from her novel, eyes immediately searching his face, his hands, his posture, any scrap of a hint that would give her a read on Jasper's current state. He hated that she was so cautious, but understood that they had never truly faced the challenges that lay before them now, and she didn't know what to expect.

Brown eyes met blue, pushing past the color of sky, trying to see into the mind that lived inside the man, finding little that was not hidden from her sight.

Frowning slightly in frustration over coming up empty-handed, she posed, "Home?"

This time it wasn't a promise of what could be, no, this time it was a question of whether that was what he still wanted. Was her home still going to be his? Did he still choose what they shared or had it been sacrificed on the altar, a thing that had to go if he was to be a part of his child's life.

Not sure if he had the answer completely worked out in his head, his heart answered, "Home."

The air clung in static sheets between the two people who shared the cab of a truck that wove through tree-lined streets to Bella's house, charged with electricity bouncing back and forth but failing to find an outlet.

Pulling into the drive, Bella exited the driver's seat, taking her time to gently shut the door, still unwilling to break the stretched silence they had shared on the way home. Jasper remained unmoving, staring at the night sky through the windshield, feeling inept as to what he was supposed to say first.

Contrary to what any doctor would recommend at the end of a day, Bella started a pot of coffee, needing the bitter taste and warmth to help pull her away from the cold pit of dread that was trying to settle inside her. Refusing to look out the window over the sink, afraid to see Jasper slinking off to his previous residence in her garage, she stumbled down the hall and stopped at the doorway of her spare bedroom.

There was an old baker's rack in the corner that was littered with paint splattered cups and dishes that she used to mix colors and a wide variety of bottles of acrylic paints. One oversized coffee mug with a chipped rim held her brushes. She had managed to get a hold of a drafting table that she used to sketch out ideas for canvas work or when she felt like playing with ink and pencil instead of brush and pigment. The walls were lined with canvases in mid-work, and a stack of blank canvases wrapped in cellophane lay propped up against the rack. It was a havoc of color, in a word, a mess. But, the stack of coffee table books that provided visual stimulation, the set of speakers with one laying on its side that she could plug her iPod into and the wrinkled t-shirts that she would slip on or use as a rag as much as a piece of attire were necessary for her creativity to thrive.

Taking stock of her inventory, she stopped briefly in order to grab an old accountant's box from her closet and started to fill the empty space with some of her books and supplies.

"Bella?"

Stopping mid-movement, Bella froze, her hands grasping onto the security of the cup of brushes in her hand. It was the first word he'd spoken to her since the light was warm and sunny earlier in the day, back when love was floating through the air unencumbered.

"Yeah?"

Leaning against the doorframe she'd occupied minutes before, Jasper crossed his arms and watched the tense curve of her back over a weather cardboard box, "What are you doing?"

"I just thought I could move my art stuff into the garage, since you aren't living out there anymore. You know, give you some space to set up a crib... if you needed it….I didn't know…I don't know…" her shoulders trembled with uncertainty.

"Oh, Bella," rubbing a hand through his hair and pinching his eyes shut, his heart raced forward while his brain argued with reason as to why it was wrong to tie her into his personal disaster, "I wasn't going to…I couldn't ask you to do that."

Spinning, her emotions brittle from being kept in the dark ever since Alice returned to Jasper's life, she demanded reason, "Why not?"

"It isn't fair. This is my mess. You saw how she was, Bella. Alice is looking to inflict damage on whatever she can, and I couldn't pull you into her line of sight as well. You don't deserve that," he reasoned weekly, his emotions protesting against his words.

Still holding her cup in hand, she approached him slowly, taking the time to lock her eyes with his, to try and convey to him just how earnest she was when she said, "Ask me."

"Bella…" he burned in the heat of her eyes, the restrictive bindings that reason had placed on love turning to ash, floating up in the breeze, consumed by what she was offering.

"_Ask. Me_."

"Would you take us both in? It's not going to be just me anymore. I told Alice I wanted our child, and I do. As crazy as it sounds, I want my son or my daughter. I want to be there every moment of their lives that I can, and I don't know if you're ready for that," Jasper watched her face, looking for the moment when the weight of what he was explaining would be too much for her, a limit tested, something she could not handle and therefore would walk away. He'd be broken again, not by chemical dependence, but by her, the withdrawal of her love and presence, but he'd let her go, "Are you willing to be a part of that? To be a part of our lives? To love us both?" 

Heart beating hard enough to push against her ribs, the unknown both terrifying and yet enticing in that it would be the two of them together, they would face it together, she agreed, "Absolutely."

"You're sure?"

"Would you like to help me box some of this stuff up? I don't know how much longer Alica has till she delivers, she appeared to be quite far along, and we really should get going if we're going to turn this into a nursery," was the only response he would get as she turned and placed the mug into the box alongside some old cloths.

Still weary and more than a little worn, strain unwinding another degree, he came up from behind, draping his body over hers almost as if he were a cloak, covering her smaller frame with his own, warmth shared between them.

Bella felt his breath come out in a peaceful release, the weight of the day finally shared between the two of them as she grabbed hold of his arms crossed around her chest, seeking out Jasper's fingers so she could intertwine her own with his. Tilting her head so he could slide his forward, she felt the dampness of tears that were either hers or his on her cheeks and knew that they had both dreaded losing the other, that it was not just she that had feared the wound of her heart being severed from his. In the light of the overhead lamp, the air outside thick and black as night they both inhaled the scent of coffee mixed with paint and continued to stand as one, letting their heartbeats once more align with each other, adrift in the aftermath of the storm, but knowing that they would ride the waves to shore together.

**A/N: So….I honestly don't want to discuss how long it has been since I updated, because I feel horribly guilty about it. Personal life, other writings, you name it, it's in there and I do apologize. However, I feel good about this chapter and when I had originally faced writing it, I had zero clue as how to handle things, and I was frozen in a battle of what to do next, so maybe time will prove to be a good thing. **

**Nevertheless, thanks for hanging in there, and for your kind words of support.**

**Xoxo-Ginja **


	16. Chapter 16: Offers on the Table

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things related to Twilight. I do not profit in any way from the writing of this piece of fiction.**

_*** Chapter 16 – Offers on the Table ***_

Sleep had been hard to take hold of as Jasper lay in bed the night before the meeting. Would Alice really show up? What stunt would she try to pull if she did make an appearance? Was she still using? How long had it taken her to realize that she was pregnant? How long had she subjected the baby growing inside her to the poison that had disconnected them both from the world around them?

So many questions and so few answers.

The crystal ball of the future was murky glass, a realm of unknowns and no matter how he squinted, he couldn't focus on the horizon, he could only walk towards it.

He had foregone shaving the stubble from his jaw, his appearance resembling that of someone with a hangover with bruised skin under his eyes and a layer of scruff lining his face.

"You've found a way to make this legal?"

Sitting in the wood paneled office of a well-to-do law firm, Jasper's words were painted in disbelief as he had already come to grips that bringing home his son and daughter would be stained with the blackest of sins - purchasing a child for a negotiated price.

"I believe I have. When your father contacted me the other night, I realize the two of you came asking me to negotiate what could be seen as child trafficking to some, and my firm tries to hold to the moral high ground whenever possible, so I took the time to weigh your options and what I am proposing is, in a sense, very legal. However, I must warn you, Jasper, that should Alice change her mind, should she come back to town and demand to see her child, you could very well be facing a legal battle down the road," Sam explained while Jasper gazed through the pages of the agreement that his attorney had drafted.

"You are, in a sense, merely entering into a custody agreement for the child. Ms. Brandon will waive her rights to any form of visitation or decision making capacity, and in return, you will not be asking for any form of financial support from her. While it does appear like any other custody case, in that there is a case number and a Judge assigned, because the two of you are coming to agreement, and you are both signing, we are not asking the Judge to make a ruling. Instead, we are asking that the Court be the governing body that enforces what you have already agreed to."

Sam Uley set one hand on the table, fingers extended, pressing down on the veneered wood with enough pressure to cause his knuckles to turn white in an attempt to express the sincerity of his repeated point.

"And yet, again I must reiterate, that should Ms. Brandon change her mind, even twelve years from now, and ask that she be allowed to visit with her child, the Court would probably agree to some level of visitation. It may just be an afternoon once or twice a month supervised, but it may some day turn into weekend visits. I need to know whether you can accept that possibility, that you are okay with that unknown outcome."

Jasper traced fingers over Alice's full name and his captured in all caps, bold-faced at the top of the first page.

An agreement between them?

It had been a really long time since they'd been able to agree to anything…but now they were going to come to a like mind in regards to the life of their child. A thread of fear that she would turn and run, that she would take what he had already come to think of as his and he would never see the child again, was already stitched into his gut. Now, these papers he held in his hand promised him a life with his son or daughter, but did not provide an iron-clad guarantee that Alice would forever remain in the shadows.

"What about Bella? If I one day married her and we wanted her to adopt my child as her own, would that be a possibility? Could she legally become my child's mother?"

While clearing out the art studio and preparing it to become a nursery, Jasper had asked Bella questions about what he thought they would need to purchase for the baby. She had seemed so knowledgeable and he thought it must be maternal instinct, that she had something he didn't that made parenting a newborn come as easy as breathing while he nervously fretted about, unsure of what to do. They were going to head out to the stores that weekend so she could show him what options he had for car seats and cribs and bottles and diapers and pacifiers and…for the love of all things holy, why were there so many damn choices? It only seemed natural that once they came home from the hospital, after deciding that they were committed to staying together, that Bella would slide into a maternal role. He was already dreaming of a small family wedding, his father holding the child as the rest of their family witnessed the exchanging of vows. Then maybe one day they would contemplate changing the child's birth certificate to read Isabella Marie in the box labeled "Mother."

"It would involve tracking Alice down possibly, but yes, if that was something you wished to pursue, we could reopen the case years from now and petition the Court to allow Bella to adopt the child as her own. If we could show that Alice had made no contact with the child from birth, I daresay the Court would probably grant your request without hesitation."

Alex had remained quiet, letting Jasper and Sam discuss the solution his attorney was proposing. But they had yet to reach the part where the money came into play and he had been skeptical that the firm of Uley &amp; Black would be willing to handle that part.

"If I might interrupt, this takes care of Jasper bringing the child home, but Sam, how are we going to explain me writing a check to Alice for a large sum of cash right before she leaves town?"

"Well, I think we may have found the solution for that as well…" pulling out another stack of papers, including a wordy document on legal-sized paper encased in a blue folder, he explained, "You're going to buy a house."

"How does buying a house help us? Am I going to tuck away the cash beneath a floorboard for Alice to retrieve at a later point in time?"

"Just before Alice left town with Jasper, her mother died and left a house to her. You know of the place?" Sam turned his attention to Jasper with the question.

"Yeah, it's out Long Hollow Road, almost to the county line. I wouldn't call it so much a house as it was a two bedroom shack that was way past needing to be bulldozed when Alice and I started dating," Jasper had forgotten that part of her life, had misplaced the memories of the white wood-shingled home with the concrete porch that was crumbling around the edges and black shutters that were either missing or hanging at an angle, barely holding on by a rusty screw. He'd only been there a handful of times. Unable to hide his distaste for the place and Alice's shame over this being where she lived had made sure that their visits were infrequent.

"Well, she still owns it, and Alex is going to offer to purchase it from her for $250,000. Since you aren't applying for a mortgage there isn't a need for an appraisal. You can offer whatever you'd like to her, so while the amount of money might seem a little over the top to some, it isn't above being a legal transfer of property from seller to buyer."

"How much is it actually worth? Alex questioned.

"By our estimates…around sixty grand and that's primarily for the lot that's around an acre and a half on the edge of a farm that the house sits on."

Alex hadn't missed the shrewd look on the girl who had invaded his home only days before and asked, "You think she won't want the money for the house on top of what we agreed to?"

"I think that the two of you need to decide whether this is the offer you want to make and leave the rest to me," Sam pushed the documentation towards the men sitting on the other side of his desk and leaned back in his chair, waiting for their answer.

Jasper glanced over the papers, mind spinning from the detailed legal jargon contained in the pages and the enormity of the matter, just wanting the day to be over. His father examined the deed to the property and the plat outlining the property's location before setting the papers back down on the desk once he found everything to be in order.

"If you think this will work, I trust you'll do your best, Sam."

Sam and Alex turned as one to look at Jasper who felt like he was being swept into a windstorm, nodding slowly and shrugging his shoulders, "You never know with Alice, but sure, I'm willing to try."

The intercom on his phone buzzed and Sam picked up the receiver, speaking briefly with the receptionist on the line. Hanging up, he gathered the papers back in order before neatly placing them back in a file and standing from his desk, informed the men, "She's here. My receptionist has put her in the conference room, and it seems Ms. Brandon didn't feel the need to bring any representation, so she's here alone."

Crossing the room to open the door for the group, Sam stopped with his hand on the handle and looked both men in the eye, warning them, "Do not engage in any back and forth with her. Let me handle this. There's no reason to fight with her. I'll make sure she knows that we are not here to continue negotiations, we're here to finalize things. This is what you hired me for, so try and remember that when it appears things may be falling apart and you feel like taking over. Got it?"

Jasper nodded mutely and Alex merely tipped his chin to let the man know he'd gotten the message.

The walk down the hall to the conference room had suddenly started to feel less like a casual stroll and more like a walk towards a waiting executioner.

Alice was busy scrolling through the iPhone in her hand when the trio entered the conference room. She made no move to stand up and greet them with an offered hand shake, or even pay much attention to them at all. She was aware that they were there but felt it best from the very beginning of this meeting that she convey an air of being bored by the entire thing, as if there were better things she had to do with her day. The child growing inside her rolled over, creating a living wave beneath stretched skin but she was practiced in ignoring that the 'thing' was a part of her. Just another week or two and she'd be rid of the intruder.

Her phone dinged signaling an incoming message which she read quickly with no emotion on her face, and in the same speedy fashion, she typed out a response and hit send before checking one more thing on the screen then deposited the device into her oversized handbag that was lying in the chair next to hers.

Sam took the center position, placing Jasper to his right and Alex to his left. He hadn't bothered with gathering pens as that would assume Alice Brandon would sign willingly. From what Alex and Jasper had shared with him, she wouldn't be too happy if they appeared to see her as being easily swayed into this agreement. Instead, he had only the folder with the documents, which he kept closed, situated in front of him.

Finally deciding to take stock of the situation in the book-lined conference room, Alice spared a glance towards Alex and Jasper before staring for a moment at Sam, her gaze drifting down to the folder that was resting under his left hand.

Steel garters locked down on her surprise and speculation as to who the unknown male seated in the middle of the group was, and with one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched, she inquired benignly, "What's this?" gesturing towards the papers.

"It's a proposition, Ms. Brandon that my clients and I would like to extend to you."

Mind questioning just what the Hales were up to and what sort of plan they had concocted to try and get out of paying her the money she was owed, she responded, "I don't see how any of our business involves legal paperwork, Mr….?"

"Uley, Samuel Uley, I'm one-half of the partnership that makes up this firm, Ms. Brandon. Perhaps you'd like to consider contacting your own attorney to being present for our meeting today? We could wait or possibly come back after lunch?"

Attorney? She was down to her last dollar, sleeping in her car and waiting until her brother left for work to sneak into that hovel she'd grown up in, hoping that he had left something edible behind. Who the fuck had money for an attorney? Leave it to Jasper and his blue-blood, overbearing father to turn this into something complicated.

"I don't think that will be necessary as I don't see how we have any 'legal'," the word accompanied by mocking air quotes, "business to attend to, Sam. I agreed to come to this address before I realized it was a law firm. I didn't realize this was some sort of set up."

Face stony, Alice began to gather her things in what could only be termed as a "snappish" manner while Jasper merely balled his fists up in his lap, fighting the urge to spit out something that was sure to piss her off even further. Instead, remembering Sam's warning, he remained quiet.

"Ms. Brandon, I urge you to give us a moment and hear me out. No one can force you into anything, and if you'd like to consult an attorney after I explain things to you, you can. We are merely having a conversation for the moment, and I think it could be to your benefit that you give me the opportunity to explain," Sam's voice was lyrical and soothing, inviting and completely free of threat.

As if something in the word "benefit" had hooked her in and given her pause to consider, Alice looked towards Jasper, hatred unmasked in her eyes, before sitting down once more and snapping her attention towards Sam.

"You have five minutes."

"Thank you for being willing to listen. I'll try and make this short and sweet," Sam smiled, exposing brilliantly white teeth perfectly aligned and a stark contrast to the deep tan of his skin, "I'm aware that the child you're carrying is thought to belong to Jasper and that he has offered to take the child in as sole custodian. And in exchange for the trouble and inconvenience this has caused you, there has been some talk of some form of monetary compensation….do I have that correct?"

Alice crossed her arms over her swollen abdomen, stubbornly conceding, "Something like that."

"You'll have to be patient with me when I explain that, in order for this to be seen as a viable option for Jasper and for your child, without getting the Cabinet involved with abandonment claims or accusations of child brokering, we need to attempt to do this in a legal fashion. Certainly you must understand, Alice," he smoothed the tumultuous waters once more with a slick voice and a pleading hand gesture. Alice remained silent but didn't make a move to get up, her only response a narrowing of eyes to show that she was listening to his every word and dissecting it to see if there was anything amiss.

"And so, I've drafted a custody agreement of the child for you and Mr. Hale to enter into. Legally, you are still going to be the child's mother, but you are signing away all visitation rights and in exchange you will not be expected to pay any child support or assist with the financial needs of the child in any way. Once you've given birth, you will hand the baby over to Jasper and you are free to leave town," Sam explained.

"Who's to say Jasper won't come looking for me, asking for money?" Alice questioned.

"Who's to say you won't come looking to take our child back?" Jasper countered, finally speaking up.

"I already explained to you Jasper, I don't want you and I sure as hell don't want your child," she scoffed as she spat out the words.

"And, I would prefer to never again cross paths with you either, Alice," he agreed.

Sam didn't interject, waiting to see if the two would continue arguing and he would need to pull his client from the room. For the moment they seemed to be satisfied with reminding each other just how much they loathed one another. Time couldn't pass fast enough for them to be out of each other's lives.

"And the money we agreed to?"

"Once again, I must remind you that this isn't a small sum of cash that one person merely gives to another, and so we've tried to find a way to make this perfectly legitimate," pulling the property deed from the folder, he slid it towards Alice, explaining at the same time, "Mr. Hale is offering to purchase the property you currently own on Long Hollow Road for the sum of two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars. In addition, he will pay the closing costs and the taxes for the sale of same, so the agreed upon amount is yours free and clear. We will conduct the closing of the sale in such a way as to coincide with the birth of the child, therefore, once you've delivered, we will deposit the money into an account in your name. What you do with it from there is your sole discretion."

Alice looked at the lengthy legal description of the house her mother had left her, not bothering to look up when she asked, "What about my brother? James lives out there in what's left of the house."

"He will be unaware of the transfer of land, and Mr. Hale will not be forcing him out anytime soon. Does he pay you rent?"

At the absurdity of such a suggestion, Alice began to laugh hysterically. Pay her rent? Her brother may pay for the large amount of beer stowed away in the next to empty fridge in the kitchen, for his oversized truck that was decked to the hilt, and for the porn and strippers he liked to go to for entertainment, but he wasn't in the least bit concerned as to his little sister's location and seeing as their mother left the house solely to her, bitterness ensured that he didn't feel he owed her any money.

"No, James doesn't give me any money….what about my medical expenses at the hospital?"

"Those will be taken care of. You needn't worry."

It all seemed to be so neat and tidy, Alice mused to herself. They'd found a way to slide past the ugly and make this seem like they were doing her a favor, buying her house, paying her bills. Alice had wanted them to twist and suffer, to have blood on their hands and guilt on their conscience. The way this deal was set up, they could walk down the center of town, head held high having rescued the child from an unfit piece of trash.

"I could sell the house myself. Put even more cash in my account. If you're getting something for our deal, than why hasn't the price changed to reflect what you're getting out of this?" she licked her lips nervously, not liking how this had gone, feeling like she was losing.

"If you were to put the house up for sale, you would need to get an appraiser and a real estate agent. The subject of your brother squatting there would have to be dealt with and could end up in litigation. I'm aware of back taxes that are owed on the land that Mr. Hale has agreed to take care of, but you would have to pay those yourself if there was independent buyer. I think this is the most beneficial way for you to keep the most money," Sam explained, "but, if you feel you'd rather have an attorney look it over, pay him or her to advise you, we could wait 48 hours. After that, the deal will be withdrawn."

"Withdrawn?" Alice furiously smacked away their veiled threat, their assumption that they had control, "You take the money we agreed to off the table and the next time I won't be bought with such a neat and tidy sum. I'm not handing over this baby if I don't get my money, and I'll be damned if the three of you think you can fuck me over one penny that I'm owed," she had leaned forward, her coolly maintained façade slipping and exposing the greed within.

When Alex tried to open his mouth to snap back, Sam merely cleared his throat to stop the man from speaking. Leaning back in his chair, he steepled his fingers, a predatory gleam in his eyes, as the once coolly maintained and handsome man turned into something feral, wolf-like.

"Ms. Brandon, I will ask you to try and restrain yourself from any further outbursts," he lanced her wounded pride with his words, "You and I both know you drove here in some little piece of trash held together with duct tape that you've been sleeping in since you returned to town. You have no money, your brother doesn't know that you've been breaking in to steal from him, so I think it's safe to say, you don't have any cash to hire an attorney, let alone make a run for it."

Paranoia spiked high as Alice's heart beat sped over the realization that someone had been hired to watch her every move.

"You're going to deliver any day now, and we will know exactly where and when that happens. When you do, we will demand the hospital test you and the baby for any forms of illegal drugs and I will take a chance and say those might not go so well, which could very well end with you in jail. Seeing as you can't pay for a defense attorney, it could be awhile before you're released. I have several friends in the local government who might take an interest in the back taxes owed on the home you own, especially when Mr. Hale shows an interest in the land it sits on and the land surrounding it. Governments tend to want to get their hands on money owed to them rather than side with some knocked up whore who should have learned to keep her legs together instead of putting out for anyone who had a hit of something they were willing to share for a quick lay."

If Alice was a predator, then the lesson for today was that there was always the possibility of a bigger predator that turned you into prey. Between Samuel Uley's legal expertise and power and Alexander Hale's money and business holdings, she would drown if they made good on the man's threat.

Trapped and in a corner, she cursed fate for having prevented her from stripping Jasper away from the two men. Without their interference she may have had a chance, but at the moment, she was out of options other than the one in front of her.

Adopting the façade of civil propriety once more, Sam suggested kindly, "Maybe you'd like to take the 48 hours we've offered to think it over? I think we could possibly even arrange for you to be placed in a local hotel, maybe one that had room service covered?"

She hated it. She hated them. She hated this damn life-sucking thing growing inside of her and the way her mind, overrun with adrenaline spiked panic, had demanded that she agree to what they were offering.

Grabbing hold of the last scraps of her pride and holding them close, she grabbed the papers on the desk and shoved them into a wrinkled mess in her oversized bag before spitting out, "I'll call in 48 hours, and I will take the hotel stay. However, I will not step back into this office building again and I will not agree to meet with either one of you face-to-face before this child is born. Is that clear?"

"Jasper and Alex need not be present for the signing of the papers, Ms. Brandon. I can send one of my employees to you once you have reached a decision," remaining seated, with the other two men following his lead, Sam finished, "If you would stop at the receptionist's desk on the way out, she will give you the information regarding your hotel."

No need to exchange any pleasantries over the meeting or fond farewells, they waited unmoving until she had shoved her way past them, exiting the conference room with the slam of a door. Jasper let all the air that was trapped in his lungs out in an audible exhale.

Staring at the vacated chair across the table, Alex stated simply, "I didn't realize you'd hired a private investigator to follow her."

"I told you I'd take care of things, and I meant what I said," Sam answered before looking over towards Jasper who was still stunned by how things had turned to his favor, "You okay, son?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"She'll take the entire 48 hours, and I'm quite certain she'll run up the room service bill, but I have no worries about her signing. It's almost over. Hang in there," getting up from the table, Alex held out his hand for Sam's and shaking it, they said their goodbyes.

Alex looked over at his eldest child, taking in the color that had paled during the meeting and felt it best that he take a break from the day's events. He laid a hand on the young man's shoulder, suggesting, "Why don't you go find Bella? I'm sure she's worried about you."

Nodding in a daze, Jasper agreed, "Yeah….yeah, I think I will."

Alex turned towards the door but was stopped when Jasper spoke again, "Thank you, dad. I don't know what I would do without you in my corner."

"You're welcome, son. You're welcome," Alex replied, his heart swelling with thankfulness over how life had changed in such an expected way.

**A/N: So yeah, that was a lengthy one, but I felt I needed to wrestle the entire Alice/Jasper showdown in one fell swoop, so there ya have it! Hopefully, by bringing you two chapters in one week, I've begun to make up for my lengthy absence. Thanks for those of you who've left some love and thank you to those who have added BB to your favorites list. Xoxo-G**


	17. Chapter 17: New Love

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, but this is mine all mine.**

_*** Chapter 17 – Another Love ***_

"She's gone."

Jasper froze in place, taking in the weight of the words he had known were coming like watching black clouds roll across the sky while waiting for the inevitable storm.

"Does anyone know where she went?"

"It appears she just up and left in the middle of the night without a word to anyone…"Alex cautiously tried to gauge what his son was feeling, "Did you want me to try and locate her? I can put another private investigator on her tail. She couldn't have gotten far…" 

"No, no, you don't need to do that," Jasper pushed his father's need to help away, just trying to process the words, to gauge his own emotions, to untangle what he was feeling with what he should be feeling.

"You okay?" Bella had come to stand beside him, placing a gentle hand on his bicep, feeling muscles held taught under the material.

"I think so…" Jasper's thoughts were interrupted by the tiniest of snuffles as Jackson "Jax" Hale shifted sleepily in his father's arms.

He had been a bundle of nerves and excitement the night they had been sitting on the back porch, Bella with book in hand and Jasper resting with eyes closed, listening to the sound of the approaching night, his muscles worn and weary from a long day on the job site.

Alice had made it clear through speaking with his attorney that she didn't wish to see Jasper again. He wasn't welcome at any final appointments and he would not be invited into the delivery room. Helpless to have any insight as to what was going on, Jasper threw himself into his work each day and into getting the house ready for a baby each night. Anything to take his mind off what he couldn't see while days stretched on and all that could be heard was silence from the opposite side.

When his phone had vibrated in his pocket and he fumbled to dig it out of the deep pocket of his jeans, he hadn't even bothered to peek through barely open eyes to see who it was, thinking it was Rosalie calling in for her nightly interrogation as to whether he'd heard anything from Alice.

"Yeah…" the abrupt greeting was thrown out across the invisible cell signal.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Jasper Hale?" a somewhat apologetic female voice responded.

Sitting up, a starting-line shot fired in his head causing his pulse to take off in a sprint while he stuttered, "I'm sorry, this is Jasper Hale."

"Mr. Hale, I was told to notify you that your son was born this evening at 6:52. He's sleeping soundly in the nursery, if you'd like to come to the hospital and meet him."

His son…."It's a boy?"

Bella held tight to his hand, fingers having entwined with his once she had taken note of the way Jasper's voice had changed. She heard the disbelief in his question.

"Yes, sir, 7 Pounds and 4 ounces, 21 inches long, perfectly healthy as far as we can see."

"And, Alice? Is she okay?"

"Ms. Brandon made it through the delivery without any complications," she answered somewhat uncomfortably, "When she checked in this morning, she gave us your contact information but let us know that she would not be allowing you or the child to see her once the delivery was over. I'm sorry, Mr. Hale." 

"No, no, nothing to apologize for. Thank you for calling me so soon. We'll be there in a few minutes." 

Hanging up the phone, blue eyes wide and full of shock even though they had been waiting for this call for days, Jasper turned towards the woman sitting next to him and whispered, "It's a boy…"

Bella smiled gently, "So I heard."

"We can go see him, he's in the nursery at the hospital," his words conveyed the message, but his body remained frozen in place.

"Let's not keep your son waiting then," Bella jumped up and slipped on her shoes, tugging on Jasper's hand, reaching in the back screen door to pull the back door shut and to grab her keys.

"Do you think this is okay to wear?" Jasper gestured to his body, t-shirt and faded jeans his uniform once he had showered after working, long sandy-colored hair curling against his shoulders. Bella had debated telling him he needed to get it cut, that it would be cooler under his hard hat if it were shorter, but she loved to run her fingers idly through it when they were sitting side by side, or when his mouth was busy lavishing attention on her body, so she let it be.

Amused by the uncertainty in his question, she replied with a smirk, "As long as you aren't naked, I think what you're wearing is fine."

Hurrying him into the truck and then on to the hospital, the couple hit another snag when Jasper stopped walking towards the entrance of the building and merely stated, "I don't think I can do this."

Placing her hands on both sides of his face, Bella forced him to look down into her eyes and spoke firmly, "It doesn't matter how you got here, Jasper, no one, not the most prepared of new parents, thinks they can do this. And yet, weeks from now, months from now, you'll find that you are doing what you thought was impossible and it will seem ordinary, just another day and another bottle made or diaper changed. You _can_ do this, and I will be right here beside you to help."

Letting his forehead tilt forward to touch hers, Jasper closed his eyes and just breathed for a few moments, letting the air fill his lungs, expanding his tightening chest and then releasing it once more. Drawing what strength and courage he could from the girl holding onto him, he nodded, "Okay."

Making their way to the nursery, Jasper kept a tight hold on Bella's hand, refusing to let go as one of the on-call nurse showed them to a small private room that held a glider rocker in one corner, a large window providing a view of the night sky, and a small stiffly padded couch serving as décor. Bella had decided to settle into one corner of the couch while Jasper immediately began pacing the small amount of available tile flooring. When they heard a soft knock at the door, he immediately began wiping his hands on his jeans, as if trying to rub off any nervousness that he still carried.

Holding a tiny bundle of what looked to be white receiving blanket more than anything; the nurse smiled at Jasper's terrified expression and crossed the room to stand before him, tilting the tiny baby so his father could get his first look. Bella had slipped her phone out of her bag and took silent pictures of this new beginning in Jasper's life, tears making their way down her cheeks as she watched the man who held her heart captive fall deeply in love with another.

For one who was so scared only moments before, Jasper was now mesmerized by a face that reminded him somewhat of his father but had arrived in the world with hair that was a completely Brandon trait. Alice may not want to be a part of her child's life, but the boy would be forever marked physically with a memory of the woman who had carried him for nine months.

Taking the child into his own arms, he made his way to the rocker and sat down, careful not to jostle the baby overly much, tracing one finger down the slope of a nose and the shell of an ear. The nurse turned to Bella and whispered that the baby had just eaten an hour ago and was freshly changed, but if they needed anything, they could press the call button and someone would be right with them. Bella thanked the woman for her help, and then it was just the three of them in the room.

Jasper was rocking slowly and Bella gave him time to just soak in the newness of the gift he had been given, not wanting to interrupt the fragile beauty of moonlight streaming into the room highlighting the pair, content that for a moment this tiny little piece of their lives was right and it was good and it was enough.

When he finally pulled himself away from the magnetic lure of his sleeping child, he found her simply watching him, and a bright smile broke the vow of silence between the two when he asked, "Would you like to see him?"

Answering him with a smile of her own, she nodded and approached the pair, taking in the contented sigh of the child and the way Jasper's gaze had returned once more to the baby in his arms. They were a perfect duo, father and son, and her heart stuttered and expanded as she took in the next man who would be a part of her life. Letting her fingers wander to the nape of Jasper's neck, she played with the silken curls there as the two watched the sleeping infant.

"Hello there, Jackson Whitcomb Hale," Bella spoke softly to the little one, letting her finger slip under the grip he had on the edge of the blanket, gazing as the tiniest of shell pink fingernails wrapped around her offered hand instead. They had spent several of the previous waiting nights thinking up baby names until Jasper found one that suited him, and when placed alongside his mother's maiden name of Whitcomb it felt complete.

"Jax," Jasper stated.

"Jax," Bella agreed.

"I love you…I love you both. You're my family now, Jax and you," He claimed, needing no legal documents to make the decision final.

He couldn't see her nod, but she agreed with him completely. If all they had was each other, Bella's family would be complete with the two of them in it.

Now standing in the small hospital nursery, packing up Jax's things as the baby had been released from the hospital's care just moments before, Jasper took in his father's news.

Alice was gone.

She had left without a word to any of them, without a forwarding address or number, and without a farewell to their child. Jasper was stunned that anyone could leave such a precious gift behind, and he was overwhelmed with gratefulness that somehow he had been pulled from his destructive behavior in time to embrace a second chance. Part of him admitted that it could have been him out there on the streets right this moment, living for the next thrill and he said a prayer that someone would make Alice see what she was doing to herself.

Buckling his tiny son into what felt like an oversized car seat, Jasper took Bella's hand and walked out into the sunshine where the rest of their family and friends were waiting to welcome the three of them home.

"I just don't think this new formula is working," Jasper admitted wearily as Jax continued his nightly bout of colic fits.

"The pediatrician said we had to give it a week at least, J, and it's only been two days," Bella took her turn at walking the floor, taking the baby from his father and starting a well traveled path down the hall, "It's not too chilly out tonight, I think I might take him outside and see if the fresh air helps."

"Think I should call the neighbors and warn them about the noise before they call the cops on us?" Jasper joked weakly, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

Bella leaned up to plant a kiss on his cheek, crying infant perched on her shoulder as she rubbed the baby's back and headed out the door of the house.

They had feared it was chemical withdrawal. That Alice had used while she was pregnant with Jackson and the child was detoxing from the drugs his mother had used, but after several tests, the pediatrician had ruled that Jax was simply a colicky baby and they were now using a new formula with the hopes that the child might find some relief from his nightly rounds of crying.

Hearing no sound coming from the outdoors, Jasper had crept to the back door to find Bella rocking in the glider, Jax alert and calm for the moment, cradled in her arms.

Opening the back door, he made a step towards the pair and stopped when Bella asked quietly, "Would you grab a cloth, please? He spit up on my shoulder and I came out here unprepared."

Taking care of her request, Bella leaned forward when Jasper had come to sit beside her and let him wipe the spit up from the back of her shirt.

"God, as much as I hope this stuff works, it smells absolutely putrid when he brings it back up," Bella wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"He seems to have calmed down some," Jasper smiled at the baby with drowsy eyes as they set out a leisurely rocking pace.

"For the moment," Bella smiled at Jax's yawn, "But I fear getting my hopes up. We may have to sleep out here on the porch if it gets us a few hours of rest."

"Marry me," the words tumbled out without thought.

Bella looked over at Jasper's face which had stopped watching the baby and was staring intently at her, "What?" 

"Marry me. Let's make it official. The three of us, a family," He stated his case.

"Jasper Hale, I am covered in baby puke, I know my hair is a disaster because I haven't had a shower in almost 48 hours, and we both have a full set of luggage under our eyes because we haven't slept in days, and you choose now to ask me to marry you?" Bella started to giggle, which turned into a sort of hysterical laughter brought on by the lack of sleep combined with the absurdity of his proposal.

Jasper merely shrugged his shoulder, pushing past her doubt, "I don't know, I think it just goes to show how well we fit together. And I know this is the way I want my life, Bella, you and me, raising Jax and facing whatever else may come together. Marry Me, Bella Swan."

Bella watched his mouth move, trying to memorize the way his lips had formed the words she never would have imagined hearing that first night she'd dragged him home from the Hale house. So much life in so little time and yet so many more years she yearned to share with him, "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I'll marry you. Yes, I'll raise Jackson with you. Yes, I'll love you for always."

Trying not to squish the tiny sleeping infant still held in Bella's arms, they sealed the proposal with a chaste kiss before Bella settled into Jasper's side and they enjoyed the first night as an engaged watching the stars light up the sky.

Sleeping pills…Cocaine…Heroin…alcohol…she'd tried them all.

Anything and everything to mute the sound of crying that her ears couldn't seem to forget, even though she'd demanded that they take the baby away from her delivery room the moment it was born.

It….the baby…was it a boy? Or maybe a girl? Did it even matter?

And yet, in the weeks that followed the painful delivery, as the bleeding stopped and the milk dried up, it was those first few breathy cries that she couldn't erase or ignore.

So, Alice grabbed hold of every cocktail of mind-numbing substances she could get her well-manicured hands on. She'd spent money on the finest of hotel rooms, outfitted herself in the priciest clothes and grabbed hold of several of her favorite bed partners in hopes of suffocating a baby's tears in whatever pleasures she could afford.

Not that it worked.

Sleep only let down her guard, reducing the ways she blocked the sounds in her head and so here she was, high as a kite and strung out for as many days as she could remember…2? 3? When had she last slept?

Someone in the hotel room had turned on the television and the sound of crying returned, only this time it wasn't her baby. She'd know her baby's cry anywhere, no this was just some movie, but it was still enough and so she dumped another shot glass of alcohol into her mouth to help chase down the little grouping of multi-colored pills in her palm.

Within minutes, the edges of the world blurred and everything slowed down, though her heart beat seemed to contradict the ticking of the clock and began to beat faster and faster. She could have sworn she had seen her mother standing by the window, looking at her only daughter in disappointment as Alice decided that wasn't something she wanted to think about either and closed her eyes to another measure of torment, grabbing hold of the black velvet emptiness swirling in her brain, allowing it to carry her away.

**A/N: It can't all be hearts and roses all the time. *sigh* Thanks to all of you who have followed BB and left a little love! You make a girl's day! Xoxo- Ginja**


	18. Chapter 18: Stubborn Stand Off

**Disclaimer: Twilight is the creation of Stephenie Meyer and I profit in no way from this bit of fiction. **

_*** Chapter 18 – Stubborn Stand Off ***_

"I will _not_ get rid of it."

Jasper stood stiffly, hands raised in a plea that begged the woman across from him to see reason, "Tell me you don't see that it's not safe."

Fiery pupils narrowed in his direction, letting him know that there would be no white flag of surrender, "I see no such thing. Just because you don't like it does not give you the right to force your opinion on everyone else!"

Arms crossed in defiance, she watched as he ran a hand through his hair and blew out all the air in his lungs, exhausted by the arguing and attempts to convince her to change her mind. Knowing he would get no further with such a stubborn defiant creature, his nostrils flared indicating that he really was not happy, but nevertheless admitted defeat and caved, "Fine, have it your way, knock yourself out, keep it."

"As if I needed your permission," she replied with a scoff and a roll of her eyes before turning around sharply and stalking away, leaving him standing alone in the afternoon sun.

Making a move to follow her, a sense of dread settled in the pit of his stomach when he reached the door she had just entered and discovered that it was locked. Tapping on the glass lightly, he waited for her to come open it, only to still be standing in the exact same spot moments later with no movement detectable on the other side.

"Bella…Bella? Come on, babe," he asked quietly, taking care not to wake Jackson from his midday nap.

Still getting no answer, he typed out a text:

**J: **Bella, come on, unlock the door, let me in. Please?

The question was accompanied with the sorriest emoticon face he could find before hitting send.

**B: **No.

**J: **Please? I gave in, okay? You won. You get to keep the truck.

They'd spent the morning car shopping. They had made it thus far without Jasper owning a vehicle, but given their work schedules and with the new baby, they both agreed that it only made sense to get a second vehicle, one that fit their family of three comfortably. Settling on the 4-door Honda for him had been the easy part, trying to convince Bella that she trade in her old truck with its bench seat, roll down windows and scrappy tape deck had not gone so well.

She had laughed good naturedly at the suggestion, thinking he was just trying to be nice about things, to let her know that she too could drive a newer vehicle; she didn't have to settle for her old pickup any longer. After explaining that she loved her truck, that she could fix most of the things that needed occasional upkeep without going to a mechanic, that the insurance was low and the vehicle paid for, she expected him to agree his suggestion was unmerited.

Instead, Jasper had started in on how she couldn't possibly think it was safe to continue driving Jackson around in a truck where the seatbelts were made by people with overly teased bangs and acid-wash jeans that had been rolled up so you could see their Reebok high tops. The material was bound to crumble at any moment and then what would happen if there was a wreck? Bella had looked at him, his voice sounding to her ears as if he were trying to explain the simplest of things to the dumbest of human beings and decided the man she loved had suddenly lost his mind. Not trusting herself to speak, she walked back to said truck without a word, strapping Jax's car seat into the vehicle before pulling out of the lot and heading towards home, leaving Jasper standing at the dealership with the keys to his new car dangling from his fingertips.

By the time he had pulled in the driveway, she had already laid the baby down for his afternoon nap and was in the garage, making a rather unnecessary amount of noise while gathering supplies to work on her latest canvas. He'd tried a softer approach at first, asking her to talk it out like grown adults, but when she failed to see his reasoning, tempers had heated up on both sides.

And, now?

Now, he was locked out of the house.

**B:** Just go take your new car out for a spin or something. Jackson and I will be safe in the house and you will be safe in your new, shiny vehicle.

Staring at the last text, Jasper pressed his forehead against the glass of the back door, trying to see past the drawn curtains to the angry woman inside, "Come on, Bella, don't be like that…."

After a few more minutes with zero response from the other side, Jasper sullenly returned to his car, sliding in and starting the engine, thinking maybe he did indeed need to take a drive and hopefully figure out how to get back in the woman's good graces before she sentenced him to the futon still taking up space in her garage.

Having finished relaying the day's events, Jasper watched Rose scoop another mouthful of baby cereal into Evie's mouth, failing to catch the look on his sister's face, the one that said she completely sided with Bella that Jasper had obviously lost his mind.

Tossing out a casual question, she tried to steer her brother's head back in the right direction, "Jasper, is Bella like other women you know?"

Sliding his eyes away from the blonde-haired baby girl who he was trading goofy grins with, Jasper tried to focus on the question asked of him, "Hmm?" 

Huffing slightly at his lack of attention, she snapped her fingers in front of his face, "Bella, we're talking about Bella here. Do you think she's like other girls you've met?"

Jasper didn't need time to mull over that question, the answer was readily available when he thought on the brown-eyed girl who'd set his world right side up again, "There's nobody like Bella Swan. She's kind and brave and independent and compassionate and gentle and intelligent and loving and..." 

The lengthy list was interrupted with another question, "Wait a minute, did you just say she's intelligent?"

"Of course I did, Rose. Bella's the only the woman I know who can paint a masterpiece with the same hands she uses to fix a bike that she'll drive to the medical clinic where she has almost as many skills as any of their nurses. Her brain has so many different facets, I don't think there's a subject out there Bella couldn't master." 

"But she's not smart enough to realize what a death trap her truck is?" Rose speculated.

"No, Rose, that isn't it. She loves that truck, and it keeps her from seeing just how old the thing is," Jasper tried patiently to explain his viewpoint for the second time that day.

"It's breaking down then, falling apart."

Scratching at the back of his neck, he admitted, "Well no, Bella always keeps it in tip top shape. But, think of how far we've come with cars, Rose! It doesn't have airbags or warning sensors, hell, I'm not sure it even has power brakes."

"However, it is made from more metal than any plastic box that comes off the assembly line these days. Some might say they don't make cars as sturdy as they used to…"

"Rose," Jasper whined, "Not you too, is no one on _my_ side?"

Scraping the last bits of oatmeal-banana mush from the bowl into her baby bird's waiting mouth, Rose got up from the table to get a wet cloth to clean the girl's face.

"Jaz, it isn't about taking sides. It's about trying to get you to see her side. You said it yourself, Bella's an intelligent woman who loves Jax as much as you do. You can't honestly think she'd do something to put the child in harm," she stopped to remove the bib from her now squirming daughter and finished cleaning her up before handing the child over to the waiting arms of her favorite uncle.

Nibbling on chubby little fingers as Evie giggled in his arms, the image of Bella rocking Jackson to sleep while singing him a song came to the forefront of his mind and he sighed, "You're right, Rose. I just get a little crazy when it comes to Jackson."

"I'm pretty sure Bella knows that, which is why she took a break to cool down instead of trying to smack some sense into you. I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that you won't stay in the doghouse forever, brother dear."

Jasper pouted, "I'd rather not stay there at all."

Rosalie leaned against the counter and felt a small wave of pity for his plight, "When's the last time you and Bella went out?"

With a shrug of his shoulders, he tossed out, "I don't know, we went out for pizza and even got Jax to sleep through an entire movie the other night."

"Jasper Hale, when is the last time you took Bella out for a_ proper_ night out?"

Jasper tried to think about whether or not he and Bella had spent any time on their own since Jackson had come into their lives.

"It's taking way too long for you to answer that question, which means it's been way too long since you two have had some time for each other. You're bringing Jackson over here Friday night and Emmett and I will keep him while take Bella out."

"Rose, you don't have to do that."

"I do. Because I know, Jasper, I know what it's like to have a newborn that takes all your attention, and how much you love that baby, but you also love that woman and she loves you too, and it is okay to take a break from being mom and dad and just focus on each other every once in a while. It's a done deal, brother, I won't take no for an answer," Rosalie insisted.

Wrapping her in a hug, Jasper placed a kiss on her temple, thankful once more to be sharing life with this precious piece of his family, "Love you, Rosie."

"I love you too, Jasper," Rosalie slipped Evie from his arms, and pointed towards the door, "Now, go buy some flowers, say you're sorry and woo your woman so you aren't sleeping on my couch tonight."

Jasper ran a nervous hand through his hair and tried to grab hold of the saddest of faces before ringing the doorbell of the house with the hand that wasn't holding a bouquet of fat sunflowers mixed in with bits of greenery and other smaller wildflowers.

It was the front door, so Bella didn't think for a minute that it would be her fiancé standing on his own doorstep. For a moment, she considered holding on to her frustration that had reached the boiling point earlier in the day, but shoved the idea out of her mind, not really wanting to waste any more of the day on hard feelings and arguments.

Toying with him, she asked politely, "Can I help you?"

Seeing that he had a chance, he grinned that lopsided smile of his and stated, "Yes, m'am. I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me Friday night? If you're not too busy, that is."

_Damn,_ she thought_, he's almost too beautiful for his own good with that lazy smile and those blue eyes_….dragging her drooling thoughts away from daydreams about how long it had been since she'd enjoyed a lazy afternoon tangled up in the sheets with him, she stuttered, "Out? And just where would we be going?"

"Well….I'm still working on that, but I'm sure I'll think of something before then," he admitted sheepishly.

"Hmm, sounds intriguing, I suppose I could take a chance and go out with you," she replied with a sly grin.

Testing the waters, he pushed a little further, "Could I maybe come in and stay for awhile as well?"

"Why, sir, you just asked me out, now you want me to just let you in my house!" she feigned shock.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I said some stupid stuff and I know you would always put Jackson's safety first and I wasn't thinking and I know I can get a little insane when it comes to him," Jasper's apology spilled out into the evening.

Bella swung open the screen door in a way that invited him to come in, "Would you like some dinner? I just pulled the lasagna from the oven." 

Stepping across the threshold and stopping to tip her face up to his, Jasper placed tender lips on hers, allowing the connection to linger, trying to bandage the shallow cut his earlier words had inflicted, "I _am_ sorry."

"I know. It's forgotten," she agreed, leaning into him for a moment longer before following him into the kitchen.

He'd left to take Jackson over to Emmett and Rosalie's house, and to allow Bella a little extra time to soak in the fragrant bath water while she shaved and did whatever else she needed to get ready for their evening. Upon returning home, Jasper didn't find Bella waiting on the back porch or in the living room, so he made his way down the hall noticing how thick and fragrant the air was from the steam coming out of the bathroom.

Figuring he'd find her in the bedroom, he stepped into the doorway while reminding her, "Bella, our reservations are for 6:30…"

Jasper was certain that he'd fallen in love with a goddess of fire and black lace as the setting sun bathed her skin in shades of gold and orange. Perched on a throne of pillows, Bella merely smiled wickedly at the way his sentence died off while his eyes trailed across the lingerie set she had put on, the only thing she had bothered dressing in.

At a loss for words that expressed his appreciation of what lay before him, the only thing he came up with was, "Wow….that's quite the outfit…"

Sliding one leg up the bed slowly, Bella let her fingers trace under the blush colored satin and black trim of her panties, giving Jasper a peek of freshly shaved skin. He licked his lips in response which only turned the heat up in her body still warm from the bath. Her body itched to have his hands all over her and inside her, but she held her pulse captive and her voice steady as she countered, "You see something you like?"

Nodding his head, his brain heavy in a fog of perfume and exposed flesh and blood rushing south, Jasper mumbled, "But, dinner…" 

Giggling at his words, she pushed all thoughts of food away with her next statement, "Jasper, I love you and I love that you made plans for tonight, but if you don't find a way to put that talented mouth of yours and fingers to use right here in this room, I will take care of things myself."

For a moment he considered calling her bluff, seeing if she'd let him watch while she pleasured herself, but he had missed the way four-letter words always accompanied the liquid taste of her satisfaction, or the way she tugged on his hair at just that moment and decided to give the woman what she wanted.

An elderly couple celebrating their anniversary enjoyed the surprise of a table set with a bouquet of sterling roses and a picture window overlooking the water when Jasper and Bella didn't show up for their reservation at the restaurant. Holding hands watching the last of the sun's rays scatter across the gentle ripples of the water, they exchanged words of love and declared that it was one of the nicest evenings they'd had in a long while.

With Bella's legs wrapped around his waist, Jasper watched her eyes struggle to stay open as he slid into her once more and agreed, it was a fabulous evening indeed.

**A/N: Yep, I kept the drama to a minimum in this one. I needed a little warm and fuzzy for the moment. Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who have favorited or followed BB since the last chapter. You make a girl smile and brighten my day. Leave a little love, it's always appreciated! Xoxo-Ginja**


	19. Chapter 19: Compare & Contrast

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, and I don't profit monetarily from writing this story. **

_***Chapter 19 – Compare and Contrast ***_

The woman had her hair piled high in a ponytail that swung freely in the afternoon sun. Her outfit consisted of a boat-necked navy striped t-shirt, skinny jeans and ballet flats complete with a pair of red-rimmed oversized sunglasses, and was the perfect counterpart to the man standing next to her in a grey flannel Henley that stretched across his slim but muscular chest, faded loose jeans atop some sort of dark leather boots. She thought bitterly with an air of superiority, _They look like an ad for a fucking J. Crew catalogue or some hipster website._

Why was she even here? The deed was done, her bank account nicely padded, her body showing no trace evidence of having born a child. Why had she returned to this place on this day to watch this couple like a crazed stalker?

Alice searched for any remnant of the man she'd escaped this town with, scrutinizing his every move as he and Bella walked through the park, Jasper pushing a stroller that no doubt held the child. She looked for the old Jaz, but came up empty. The angry young man who had once lashed out at anything that disagreed with him, the one who was always up for a good time and claimed he was invincible had been replaced by this picture perfect young father who gazed on adoringly at the woman by his side, her laughter unheard by the woman watching them.

Snorting at the sight of the happy couple, she questioned again why she'd bothered coming back to this nowhere town. It's not like she wanted to be the girl in the GAP t-shirt and jeans_. Fuck, no, give me expensive boutiques, diamond earrings and vacations in Europe over this American suburban hell any day_. Her sneer was erased only when she took another drag off the slim cigarette held tightly in her fingers, continuing to stare from where she was seated behind the steering wheel of her shiny white Mercedes.

Jasper stopped walking suddenly and bent over to fiddle with the stroller, and when he stood back up, he held a tiny raven-haired bundle in his arms. Bella smiled lovingly as he placed the baby up on his shoulder, taking over pushing the now empty stroller. Alice squinted, trying to get as good a look at the group as her seat would afford.

Well, given the little boy's spiky hair that reminded her so much of her brother, Alice knew that Jasper would never be able to truly erase the Brandon family from his life. _Geesh, he looks just like James did at that age_. Alice used to tease him that his baby pictures made her think of a monkey with its finger stuck in a light socket. His hair had stood on end until he'd reached puberty, the strands finally letting go and falling into a thick satin curtain that he wore long but tied back from his face most days.

_James_….hell, her brother had been doomed to grow up just as much a lost cause as his sister. He'd been the recipient of their father's attention via physical blows, and both of them had been children who had to grow up and become independent early on thanks to an alcoholic mother who neither cared for them or the abuse they suffered. Both brother and sister possessed a steely edge that both protected them, but had also ensured that they would not be pursuing a fairy tale happy ever after. They looked out for themselves above all else.

Maybe that was the answer to her question of why. She'd convinced herself that Jasper was her male counterpart, that he had shared in her pursuit of pleasure, that if she was going to find her way out of here, he was her guaranteed one-way ticket. And it had worked….for a while. But then, Jasper had grown bored and tired of the way things were, he rocked the boat and started turning down invitations and even started talking about going back to school or some shit, and so she shut him down quick by keeping him high as a kite. He'd finally gained some clarity that night in the bar while she was sandwiched between two strangers on the dance floor, picked a fight with said strangers and, in turn, she'd left him a bloody mess in a back alley thinking he'd realize just how miserable life was when she wasn't making sure he felt good every moment on the day.

But he hadn't come looking for her, and he wasn't to be found out on the streets where she'd abandoned him, no, he'd moved on and she'd been left behind pregnant. Thinking back on those long months when she'd tried to ignore everything that was going on in her body, struggled to just endure the waiting for her nine month sentence to be up, she never could make sense of why anyone would want to tie themselves down the way her mother and father had been chained together in that nightmare of a marriage.

Looking at him now, he certainly looked happy…_No, _a bitter voice cut through the assessment, _he looks weak and dependent. _

Alice's phone ringing pierced her silent observation, and she reached over to dig it out of her oversized handbag, but when she looked out the windshield of her car, she was alarmed to see that Jasper had picked up on the sound spilling out of her open car window and was now staring directly at her car. In an instant she had turned the keys in the ignition and hastily backed out of the almost empty lot, taking off at a rate of speed that pushed above and beyond the posted limit.

_Stupid, stupid girl…_she could hear her father's voice in her head as she sped away and had to agree. There was nothing for her here, she had been an idiot for letting her curiosity steer her back to this place.

Alice had been working her way into this scene for awhile now, and she felt really good about tonight. Taking extra care to make sure her hair, nails and makeup were perfection, she finished getting ready in front of the large mirror over the double sink in Cam's bathroom. They were both after the same thing, and even though they enjoyed each other's company, there was an unspoken agreement that neither one would interfere if the right opportunity posed itself.

"Damn, girl, you look hawt!" the leggy bottle-blonde appraised and complimented Alice's minidress of black lace overlaying nude satin. The material covered the woman all the way up to her neck in the front but was completely backless to the point that you could almost make out the top of her ass as she strutted into the bedroom in a pair of red-soled black stiletto heels. Completing the look with a set of understated pearl earring, Alice grabbed her clutch and decided to grab a glass of wine while Cam finished getting herself ready for the night.

When they arrived at the club, they had the car pull them up to the front door, not bothering with the line of potential clubbers, and the bouncer at the front door let them in with a wink and a request that they give him a chance if they didn't find anyone to their liking inside.

Taking full advantage of the height her heels afforded her, Alice made her way to the bar with feline ease, smoothly sliding between the bodies that were dancing and mingling with each other. Her plan demanded that she not go looking for her target, but that she merely find a place to perch where she could be admired and sought out.

She hadn't made it to the bottom of her first glass when he took the bait.

"Can I get you a refill?"

Broad-chested, with charming boyish looks right down to the dimple in his right cheek, Alice had done her homework and knew he was an asset to his team, as was seen by his rather sizeable salary. She also knew his hometown, where he'd gone to college and that he was single. She and Cam could've recited stats about just any member of the NFL team, after all, they made it their business to know everything they could about their prey.

Letting her lips turn into a tempting smirk, she didn't bother looking at the bartender, but held his gaze as she requested, "Two fingers of Woodford Reserve, straight."

"Bourbon?" his smiled a little bit wider, "Can't say as I'd peg you for a bourbon girl, but I'll have the same."

Turning her body towards him, she cocked her head to one side, "And just what type of girl did you think I was?"

"Red wine? Manhattan? Some sort of fancy, uptown martini? Something sophisticated, polished," he explained.

Draining the last drops of the glass already in her hand, she lamented with a shrug, "Well, sorry to disappoint your first impression."  
Taking the time to let his fingers slide along hers, she glanced down at his hand that was removing her now empty glass from her grasp, playing the part of the innocent while he continued, "Not disappointing at all, refreshing even. Care to join me?"  
Following the direction of his sight, she could see he was asking if she wanted to join him and the rest of the guys who were out to unwind after the game.

_Check. Mate._

After that, it was a blur of drinks and heated dances on the floor. Alice kept her focus, her high tolerance for alcohol and careful hold on just how much she had to drink left her in full control of her senses when he invited her to share a hotel room at a 5-star place that was just down the street. Feeling victory in her reach, she turned on the charm and chatted with him all the way up to their room where words gave way to action and her mouth was put to other uses.

Waking up the next morning to hear him grabbing his keys and other items that had fallen onto the floor when she'd stripped him of his clothes, she made quick work of wiping under her eyes to remove any smeared eyeliner and mascara before rolling over to face him.

"Are you leaving?" she went for a voice that was supposed to be snuggly and sleepy.

"Yeah, I got to get going, but don't worry, room's paid for till noon, so you've got a few more hours," he reassured.

With a pout, she asked, "Sure you don't want to come back to bed with me?"

Next step, she thought, add in a little bit of sultry temptation as she let the sheet slide away from her body while she propped herself up on the pillows.

He chuckled, "As much as I'd like to, I've got to get going or I'll be late for the team meeting, but don't worry, I think you'll be happy with what I left you."

Taking the chance to look at the nightstand next to her, Alice saw a wad of folded cash. As her brain began to make sense of the situation, her anger started to burn, "Are you kidding me?"

He looked as if he was confused for a moment, "I think there's probably more than enough there for your time…"

She cut him off before he could finish whatever words of solace he had come up with, "I'm not. A. Fucking. Prostitute."

"Wait, what did you think we were…" his words trailed off as he caught up to what was going on, "Did you think I was interested…" he started to laugh, "Sweetheart, I've already got a girlfriend, though I must admit, she's got nothing on you. You know, if you'd like me to pass your number around to some of the other guys on the team, you could set yourself up real nice. You're like a fucking porn star, babe. You could put some of those skills to good use."

"Get. Out." Alice was seething as she sat up, a mixture of rage and humiliation making for a caustic acid inside her stomach, stirring up the alcohol from the night before.

Admiring the view and ignoring the fury, he ignorantly continued, "Well, I left my number in case you want to send me yours. If nothing else, I'd be up for hooking up again some time. Let me know."

Snapping, she screamed, "Out! Now!"

Collapsing on the bed, she refused to watch him exit and hearing the door click shut, she refused to look at the money on the table as she slid from the bed and walked towards the bathroom for a scalding hot shower.

She had failed, only managing to come across as some high class call girl.

Refusing to face what had happened, she slipped back into her dress from the night before, hating the way it reeked of his cologne. Punching a number in on her phone, she stalked out of the hotel room, but not before taking the cash and shoving it into her purse.

Sitting at Rose's kitchen table, both couples were discussing Jasper and Bella's upcoming wedding. The engaged pair had already decided on the location of the service and agreed that they wanted it to be a very small family affair, but Rose was adamant that small didn't mean they couldn't indulge in a beautiful gown or the perfect flowers in Bella's bouquet. They had listened to Jasper's sister's suggestions, agreeing that, if this was to be a marriage to last a lifetime, then they should make their wedding day a moment to remember. Rose thought of things that they hadn't even considered, and Bella appreciated the help.

"Have you two thought about a reception? I know you want to keep the service small and intimate, but after, we could always rent a bigger venue that way you could allow more family and friends to celebrate your day with you?"

Bella looked at Jasper, at the way he was fiddling with the baby and trying to ignore his sister, "Rose…I think we want this entire day to be about the two of us, not a lot of people."

"Okay, but promise me this. We will _not_ be having the reception at the diner!"

Bella laughed at the indignation on Rose's face, while Jasper hinted with an angelic smile, "But you know how I llllooooove those blueberry pancakes. I mean, maybe we could have breakfast as a theme for our wedding dinner? What do you think, babe?"

Rose sputtered, "Jasper Hale, absolutely not!"

Bella laughed even harder before reassuring the woman, "He's teasing you, sweetie. We won't go to the diner, promise. And, I'm sure you have some lovely suggestions of what would be a good place for a small reception?"  
Punching her brother in the arm, she got up to get her laptop so she and Bella could look over some of the places that she thought would work for the couple when they heard the front door open.

"Hey, dad! I wasn't expecting you," Bella and Jasper could hear Rose's greeting from the front area of the house and looked up to see Alex enter the kitchen.

"Dad," Jasper greeted, "You okay?"  
Alex Hale's face had changed the instant he took in his son sitting at the kitchen table with little Jax bouncing in his lap. Clearing his throat, he looked at his grandson and searching for the right words, said quietly, "Jasper, it's Alice….something's happened."

**A/N: So, we're back to drama land. Some of you may not like the road I'm leading Alice down, but it's what feels right for me to write, so I'm following it down the path in my brain. As always, thanks for the love and support. Xoxo-Ginja**


	20. Chapter 20: Silent Poison

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer owns Twilight.**

_*** Chapter 20 – Silent Poison ***_

She looked like a distorted version of Snow White, lying there in the hospital bed with various machines, tubes and what not attached to her small frame.

Hair as black as ink spilled out in stark contrast to the starched white pillowcase that propped up her head, skin pale and free of makeup, dark lashes resting against the thin purple-bruised skin under her eyes with lips almost the same color, as if they were lacking oxygen even though the intubation tube ensured that she was breathing in the canned oxygen that added a slight hiss to the background noise.

A tragic fairytale of Snow White without a prince, deep in a coma and without love's true kiss to pull her from the endless abyss where she had drifted away to.

Alice appeared frail and weak in the dim fluorescent glow of the lights over her stretcher bed, and Jasper named her the "Anti-Alice" lying in such a helpless state. It was amazing how, when stripped of cutting glares and caustic words, she could appear so meek and timid.

_God, she'd scream and throw things and make everyone's life hell if she could see the way she looked right now. _

The monitor continued to show a steadily beating heart along with the latest blood pressure reading and the IV machine continued to feed a cocktail of vitamins and minerals into her veins, while Jasper stood silently in the otherwise empty hospital room trying to take in this new slice of reality.

Carlisle had stepped out to continue his conversation with Alice's attending physician, their sentences laced with medical jargon that Jasper really didn't need to confirm the image before his eyes.

Once Alex finished sharing how very little he knew about the situation, Jasper had left Jackson in Bella's care and met Dr. Cullen at the entrance to the hospital where Alice was admitted. The older man shared briefly what he knew as they made their way up to the ICU unit together. Alice had lost control and finally pushed her body to a place that it couldn't return from, the overdose of chemicals she'd taken causing her heart to speed, inducing convulsions before she fell into a coma as her organs began to shut down. Her brain had lost vital oxygen levels and the scans showed that there was very little functioning, therefore the machines were necessary in order to keep her alive.

If his father hadn't gone ahead and asked the PI to keep an eye on her, they may never have known what had happened. The ER workers at the hospital had discovered the young woman's discarded body on the sidewalk outside, and assumed that whoever she had been using with had dropped her off but didn't want to risk getting caught themselves, so they'd left her behind. She had ID in her purse, but she didn't have any living parents or a significant other that they'd been able to locate. No employer, just a brother who still had yet to show his face that she'd listed as her next of kin on the hospital intake papers when she had given birth months before. Carlisle used his credentials to get Jasper access to Alice's room and to her condition on the basis that Jasper was the legal guardian of Alice's only remaining family, Jackson.

Now, standing alone in a room with a woman who had made his life a nightmare, who'd basically blackmailed his family out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, the very one who'd left him for dead in a dark alleyway, now, Jasper didn't know what to feel. He knew there wasn't love and there never had been between the two of them. When she'd reappeared, he'd wanted nothing more than to wash his hands of her, to be able to push the time they'd spent together as far out of his mind as possible. But with the birth of Jackson came pity, a sadness that Alice couldn't see what a gift she'd been given, too busy chasing down whatever it was that she thought would finally be "enough," the secret to contentment and satisfaction.

With a sigh that pulled heavily on his shoulders, he turned from the room and the machines and the lost girl and joined Carlisle in the hallway.

Searching for direction, for someone to point him down the correct path as to what he should do given the circumstances, he asked, "What now?"

"Basically, we wait," Carlisle explained, "The overdose caused her body to react in such a way that she's been rendered brain dead and her heart has suffered severe damage as well. There are signs that her kidneys may be failing. They don't have a DNR order on her, so they'll keep taking whatever measures are necessary to keep her alive while they continue their efforts to get a hold of James. He could make the decision to stop the machines, or he could refuse to decide and if so, they'll keep treating her till her body gives out."

Gritting his teeth in frustration, Jasper tried to force some sense into the current situation, "_What the hell happened, Carlisle_? Alice has always been one to party, but she always had to be in control so she stayed right on the edge of being high but still being aware of what was going on. I was the one that was blacking out and waking up the next morning with no clue where I was or who we were with."

"No one honestly knows, Jasper. She was just dumped out of a car at the hospital ER. No one saw who she was with, no one's come forward to give the doctor's any insight and her blood tests are a mess, so they treated her the best they could, but she'd mixed several types of drugs with alcohol at dangerously high levels and combined, they were lethal," Carlisle shook his head, coming up empty for answers to soothe the savage look on Jasper's face.

A fresh wave of anger and disgust and frustration crashed inside his skull, so that Jasper's feet started moving before he could finish his next statement, "Well, I can't do much for her now, but I'm not standing around here waiting for her to waste away."

Carlisle was lost as to the young man's intentions, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find James."

"Jasper, are you sure that's such a good idea…" his words died away as he watched Jasper stab the button on the inside of the elevator, closing the doors and ending their conversation.

It had been a long time since he'd stepped across the threshold of Venom, the local gentleman's club, where you could 'pick your poison,' but with enough investigation and questions asked, Jasper had followed a lead that the bar was one of James' favorite hang outs. Sure enough, he recognized the beat up bike that Alice's brother had been using to tear up the town back when they had first started dating.

The owner of Venom had done very little in the way of upkeep or upgrading over the years, so it still looked the same, if not a tad bit dingier than Jasper remembered. The lights were almost non-existent, the smoke thick, the liquor watered down and the girls possessed a hard edge that made them appear more worn out than sensual.

He found his person of interest nursing a beer and staring at a TV behind the bar that was tuned in to the sports network. Sliding onto the stool next to the man, Jasper waived off the scantily clad bar tender who started sashaying in an overtly sexual way over to him. James registered the movement and slid already blurred eyes over to find Jasper staring at him silently.

"Well, lookee what the cat dragged in, Jasper fucking Hale. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Jazz?" James had already turned his gaze back to the television.

Trying to harness his anger over the other man's flippant disregard, Jasper explained patiently, "I'm pretty sure you know. The hospital's being trying to reach you for a couple days now."

"I assume we would be talking about my sister. Last I heard, after the two of you skipped town with your pockets lined and the grand scheme to go find better lives away from the rest of us losers, was that she'd been sneaking around here all fat and round, knocked up with your bastard seed." 

Jasper's teeth continued to grind while James just shrugged, "Now, darling Alice has gone on another drug fueled binge and got a little sloppy, landing herself a long-term stay at some hospital that wants me to come take responsibility for her. As if I wanted anything to do with Alice after all these years. We've got zero ties keeping us together and I've no interest in playing nursemaid, so thanks, but no thanks. They can find someone else to pick her up and nurse her back to health."

"She's not coming out of there, James, she's dying. They've got her hooked up to machines that are struggling to keep her alive, but you could put an end to this if you signed off on the paperwork."

Taking a long look at Jasper's face to see if he was actually serious, James thought on this new information for a moment before taking a long pull of his beer and continuing, "No, can't say as I want to be the one to sign her death warrant either."

Leaning in, Jasper's voice was raw, "Come on, give her some peace, James. I know you and Alice didn't have the best life growing up…"

James choked on his beer at that the absurdity of that sentence, mocking Jasper, "Not the _best life_, Jasper? You've got some fucking nerve trying to talk to me about the past, like we've got something in common when all you did was whine and carry on about your rich daddy wanting to hand you his company on a plate. Whatever you wanted, no matter how much you screwed around, the future was still there waiting all wrapped up with a big fucking bow. Doesn't seem like much has changed since you came back from slumming around with my little sister either. Go to hell, Hale."

"You know what? You're right. I was a complete ass, and I probably made Alice's life even more screwed up than it was before she met me, but that doesn't change the fact that you're the only family she has left and you have the chance to finally let her rest. End the misery, James, don't make her slowly waste away all alone tied down to some hospital bed because you're clinging to the same bitterness that poisoned Alice all her life," Jasper tried taking the blame, agreeing in hopes that maybe it would serve a better purpose in the end.

But, James only emptied the glass sitting in front of him before signaling the waitress for another. As she tipped the tap to fill the next one, James slid from his seat and started to walk away, but not before stating with some finality, "To repeat my earlier statement, Jazz, fuck off."

Jasper watched him make his way over to a pool table where he started speaking with the guys who were about to finish a game. Sitting there for a few minutes debating whether he should follow, the waitress took James' drink from the bar and carried it over to where he was standing. He smacked the girl on the ass when she walked away, a devilish smirk on his lips but he never spared a second's glance back to the bar where Jasper was seated, effectively conveying that their conversation was over.

The next 24 hours found Jasper right back in the gloomy hospital room, the smell and threat of coming death hanging in the air, taunting but not taking, just letting him twist and spin with guilt staring at the girl whose hair had lost its shine while her skin began to reflect the yellow pallor of the walls.

This time Bella had insisted on coming with him, hating the way he seemed to walk around defeated and closed down since the first time he had come to see the truth behind his father's words. He would still smile and love on Jackson, but even that was slightly muted and with everyone else, he was merely going through the motions. She tried to talk to him about what was going on, but he shut her out with a claim that she wouldn't understand, that he just needed some time.

Who knew that in sabotaging her own life, Alice would inflict the pain and damage she had been lusting after since seeing Jasper that first afternoon in his father's home, surrounded by family and new love.

Unsure what she was supposed to do, since Jasper refused to let any part of his body touch hers while they were in the room, Bella leaned against the wall and stared out the window of the hospital room, watching the parking lot lights illuminate the drops of rain that were sliding down the glass. Carlisle interrupted the quiet vigil with a gentle clearing of his throat, getting Jasper's attention immediately as it still managed to sound harsh and intrusive.

"Jasper, I just wanted to let you know that they'll be in the next half hour or so to unplug the machines. It's possible that she'll hold on for a little while longer, after they've disconnected everything, but I don't think her body will be able to keep living without assistance."

"I didn't think they could do that."

"James was in a little while ago to meet with her doctor and to sign the needed forms."

Stunned, Jasper questioned, "Was he here and left before we got here?"

Carlisle seemed a little shamed to confess, "No, he didn't stop in to see Alice, he just did what was needed as her next of kin and left."

"Huh, he's more of a heartless bastard than I pegged him for."

"Jasper, you know he and Alice haven't…" Bella tried to dilute some of the acid that Jasper had released into the air.

Hardened eyes turned on her and accused, "You're seriously going to make an excuse for him signing papers so Alice can die without even bothering to see her?"

"No, I just..." but Bella didn't know what the right answer was anymore, she felt lost trying to figure out what to say, how to act, how to help.

"Maybe you'd like to say your goodbyes now," Carlisle suggested, "There's really no need for you to stay around once they come in." 

"And let her die alone? What am I supposed to say to Jackson about that, Carlisle? That I said farewell and left his mother to die in a cold, sterile room all by herself because her only family member didn't think it necessary to stick around for the messy part?"

"Jasper, you've done enough, really, there's no need to keep dragging yourself through this," Carlisle tried again while Bella remained silent, knowing that her words wouldn't be any more welcome than the other's.

"I think I'll decide when I've done enough. You two can just leave us here and I'll stay with her till it's over," Jasper decreed not as a suggestion, but as a command.

Bella tried to tamper down the hurt, to ignore the way his words seemed to pierce without him being aware, as she wiped away a tear that threatened to fall and left the room without saying a word. Carlisle followed after her and tried to place a gentle hand on her shoulder, to share a word of encouragement, but Bella merely shook off the gesture and walked away from the room, needing to escape from the pain inflicted by a strung-out dying girl who haunted their lives long before the doctor could call the time of death.

Alice took her final breath 27 minutes later.

**A/N: So, this is one of those chapters where I find myself exhausted and worn out after writing it. Some might question Jasper feeling so strongly and acting the way he is right now, but I think that he can care for someone who wounded him so much in the past shows some level of compassion, and therefore, I wrote this out as it unfolded in my head and that's where his character led me. I've known for awhile now that Alice wasn't going to make it to the end of this story, but I wasn't sure just how her death would play out before now. **

**On a more positive note, I'm so happy to see that BB finally broke the 100 mark for follows! That's a first for me and just makes me squeal with glee. We may even break 100 reviews before this thing is said and done! Thanks for the love and support, dear readers, every little smiley face and word makes my day, even the critical ones. Xoxo-Ginja **


	21. Chapter 21: Guilt

**Disclaimer: Twilight is the sole possession of Stephenie Meyer and I do not profit monetarily from this piece of writing. **

_*** Chapter 21 – Guilt ***_

Funerals were made for rainy days, black umbrellas slick with the tears of heaven mourning life lived and lost, poured out on the ones left behind.

Alice's funeral took place on a sunny afternoon, with clouds lazily drifting through a brilliant blue sky, the air littered with casual conversations shared between birds on branches.

It seemed wrong….life carrying on without even slowing down for a passing glance.

It seemed fitting….very few miss misery when it makes a final exit.

And yet, Jasper felt compelled to hold a service and his family, feeling that now was not the time to question his actions or try and make him see sense, went along with it. Now, they stood in small huddled mass clothed in black that was quickly absorbing the sun's heat. No one cried, but the weight of pity and regret mingled with the air and left everyone speechless except for the funeral home worker and a priest who gave a polite and generic eulogy before closing the brief graveside service.

"…_And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen."_

Jasper caught the last line of the 23rd Psalm leave the priest's lips and wondered if there was any truth to the scripture. Alice, the woman who'd lived years focused on selfish, vain indulgences. Alice, the woman who walked away from her child in order to continue living a life focused on herself, now inhabiting a room in heaven? Surely not, but then again, maybe God had more grace and forgiveness than Jasper gave him credit for.

Standing next to a coffin waiting to be lowered into the ground, it was easier to feel a certain measure of sadness that Alice's life had come to an end. He could create fanciful imaginings that she would have come to a point where she realized how wrongly she had treated everyone and would decide to make a change for the better. Of course, there was no guarantee any of those day dreams would have ever come true, but when a person dies, you get to imagine how great it could have been and they can't disappoint. They're dead.

He stared at the reflection of the afternoon sky, sliding across the glossy black surface of the casket without blinking, until his eyes were dry and stinging, forcing him to close his lids, to pull back from internal musings and turn to follow his family who'd already started their walk back to the small gathering of vehicles parked on the road.

The rest of them may have been able to ignore the man standing some ways apart from the rest of the group, but Jasper couldn't, and so he made his way over to where James was standing next to a tree, using the overhanging branches and massive trunk as a shelter from the others.

For a moment Jasper just stood, looking at James' weary face, the paleness of his kin making dark hair seem even blacker. It was obvious Alice's only sibling was uncomfortable being there, and even though Jasper was at a loss as to what the right words were to say, he managed a quiet, "Thank you."

James scoffed at Jasper's offer of gratitude, seeking clarification, "For what?"

"For signing the papers, for coming here today."

"Yeah, well, one last goodbye before I leave town," was all the man offered as to why he was standing awkwardly in a cemetery, looking hung over and exhausted.

Surprised, Jasper questioned, "You're moving?"

"Long past overdue, man," James ran his hand through his hair, ducking from Jasper's watchful face, causing his hair to stick up in a million directions. Jasper wondered whether Jax would have the same unruly mane as he grew up.

"There's nothing for me here. Even if Alice had returned home to try and settle down, we were never connected with each other the way brothers and sisters are supposed to be. It was always about looking out for ourselves," James explained, "So, I'm looking after myself and moving on. Gotta take the chance that there's something better out there."

Jasper nodded and offered his hand causing James to stare at it as if it were a foreign, diseased object before pulling it back in and saying, "Well, take care of yourself."

"Yeah, you do the same," and turning to head towards a pickup truck loaded up with various personal items, he spoke loud enough for Jasper to hear, "And take care of my nephew too. Make sure he's got it better than we did, yeah?"

Jasper would have answered that he was going to try, would have asked if James wanted to keep in touch, but the stride of the man's steps and the refusal to look back let Jasper know that life in the small town where Alice and James had grown up was coming to a close. He doubted he'd ever see James again.

Walking away from Alice's gravesite, Jasper realized that the rest of his family had left, and the only one remaining was Bella. When he got close enough that she could talk without raising her voice, she explained, "The family thought you might need a break, so they took Jackson with them. I thought you might want to just go for a drive."

Nodding his head without speaking, finding that he really didn't have words that held any worth, so he'd rather just be silent, Jasper climbed in the passenger seat and let Bella pick their path. At some point, she called the local Chinese restaurant and ordered take out. She parked and got out of the car to get the food. She even put away the left-overs when they had finished eating.

Jasper was on autopilot and all she could do was occupy the same space, hoping that with the rising of the sun, he'd wake up from his stupor and life could take a step forward.

Laying side by side in their bed that night, they both stared at the ceiling, neither able to find rest. When Jasper finally broke the silence, Bella startled slightly, the sound registering louder than it should have, magnified by the lack of contact between the two.

"I don't think I can take Alice's name off his birth certificate."

Bella chewed on her lip, her hands trying to keep from fisting in the blankets as she took a deep breath and whispered, "Okay."

"I know you're his mother. There isn't anyone that loves Jackson more than you do, and I know we had always intended to leave Alice behind, but now? I just feel like I'm erasing her as if she never existed if I do that, and I don't know, given she's already gone, I just…..I just can't." 

"Okay."

"Okay."

There were more words that needed to be said. Thoughts and emotions that needed to be brought to the surface, but instead, they ignored them, the silence returning like a wave to the shore. Bella let it pull her under as she curled onto her side, forcing her eyes closed, urgently willing time to pass and this day to become a memory.

And for awhile, it felt like Jasper was trying to get back to the way it was before a bomb had been dropped in the middle of their lives.

But not every piece of shrapnel is easily located, and sometimes, the unseen wound becomes infected, turning the blood toxic, a silent poison.

Soon, there were reasons why Jasper needed to stay late and work on a project, needing to concentrate on his work away from the noise of Bella and Jackson. Bella would take a breath, remind herself that it had only been a few days and everything was so fresh in Jasper's mind, but days became weeks until a month had passed and somewhere along the way, Jasper started passing out on the office couch instead of coming home.

Bella would wake up to an empty bed and a hurting heart, but she would put on a brave face for the chubby cheeked smile that waited for her every morning. Jax would lift his little arms and together they would snuggle up with a warm bottle in the early morning light, and for a moment, Bella could pretend that they were still whole and not breaking apart at the seams.

Bella stuck with pretending and wishful thinking.

Rosalie chose anger and lashing out.

"What the hell is he thinking, probably turning into some drunk, leaving Bella to take care of Jackson all by herself! I can't begin to comprehend what is going on in his head, Emmett, but I have had enough of Jasper fucking up his life. Not this time! I let him walk out years ago, but we are not doing this again!" Rosalie ranted, her voice climbing in volume as she stomped through the house looking for her purse and keys while Emmett held their daughter, silently praying their child wouldn't have quite the same fire as her mother lest they never survive the teenage years with both females under one roof.

"Sweetheart," Emmett gently called after Rosalie as she headed for their room, "It's almost time for Evie to go to bed, babe. Where are you going?"

"I'm putting a stop to this before he ruins everything," she replied as if it were the most obvious answer.

"Oookkaayyy….and what if he doesn't want to listen, Rose?"

"Not an option."

Emmett caught a flash of blonde hair heading towards the garage and looked down at his daughter who was drooling around the two tiny teeth that had started to come in just that week, "Yeah, I think we'll just sit this one out, safer here for the two of us."

Evie cooed in response as her father carried her off to the nursery to indulge in a little daddy-daughter story time before bed.

When Rosalie arrived at the company's main office, it took her awhile to locate her brother because it appeared the entire building was dark. But his car was here, so he must be as well. She made her way through quiet hallways until she found him sitting at desk with just a small lamp lit, barely pushing out any light into the space from its miniscule 50 watt bulb.

Jasper's face held unshaved stubble, his clothes were wrinkled and his eyes were sunken into purple bruised hollows that had formed from lack of sleep. There was a glass half full of what appeared to be bourbon, but it also appeared that, even though it was dark outside, he'd only poured the one glass. He wasn't passed out. He was a mess, but he didn't stink to high heaven of alcohol like he did the first day he'd showed up on their doorstep so many months ago.

"Well, I had a complete arsenal of yelling ready to go," Rosalie interrupted Jasper's vacant stare at the window and the night sky beyond it, and she saw the flicker of life in his eyes but he didn't turn to look at her, "Figured you'd be drowning your sorrows in the bottom of a bottle, but honestly Jazz, you just look miserable and somewhat pathetic. I can't find it in me to raise my voice even the littlest bit."

She crossed her arms and waited for him to disagree, to fight back, but he only muttered,

"I can't do it."

Curious as to what he could be referred to, she questioned, "Can't do what?" 

"I can't pour one shot after another. Every night, I sit here beside a bottle of whatever poison I decide might do the trick, might help me find some rest, but I can never get the job done," Jasper picked up the glass and stared at the contents, swirling them around, "I don't know, doesn't taste right or something. I just can't."

"Well….that's a good thing isn't it?"

"Can't go home either, cause that doesn't feel right. So, I just sit here, searching for the answers that never come…"

"What question are you trying to answer?"

"What am I supposed to do now?"

Rosalie resisted rolling her eyes because his voice actually sounded sincere, as if he were lost as to what to do with his life, but honestly, she was pissed that he'd allow Alice to derail things once more.

"Jasper Hale," and still he stared at that damnable window, "Jasper, look at me!"

She smacked her hand on the desk and he let those blue eyes that matched her own slide towards her, but there wasn't any care to be found over what she might possibly have to say.

"What are you supposed to do now?" She looked from one eye to the other, trying to get him to pay attention, "You go home to Bella. You hold your baby boy in your arms and you thank God that it's not you in that grave. You get married and you finish school and you be the best dad you can be and you choose to live before life moves on without you."

Picking up the glass again, Jasper sniffed the contents but refused to meet her eyes when he shrugged and said, "You make it sound so easy."

"It may not feel that way today, but it might be better tomorrow, and even better the day after that, but you owe it to your family, the one waiting for you in that little house across town, to find out," Rosalie tried to encourage him to grab hold of her words, to try when she pulled a small album from her shoulder bag, "Here, I thought you should see this."

Jasper didn't see anything amazing about what Rose had handed over, but when he opened the book, he was pierced by a picture of a healthy and alive Alice, one with a smile that was beautiful but really just a façade, a mask he knew well. He flipped the page quickly to get away from what felt like an accusing stare only to find another picture of her, and each page after that held more. There was even one of James and a couple that appeared to be out of their high school yearbook of Alice and Jasper together, Alice always leading the way and Jasper always following behind.

"What is this? Why would you put together a picture album full of Alice? You hated her, Rose."

Arching an eyebrow, Rosalie answered, "I didn't do this. Bella did."

"Bella? Why?"

Leaning forward to place her hands on the desk top and meeting his gaze, she gently explained, "For Jackson. Bella's spent her evenings alone trying to find every photo she can of Alice and put them in an album before they all disappear because she wanted Jackson to be able to see the woman who gave birth to him. When he gets older of course, but she wanted him to have some answers should he have questions."

Jasper looked at the album, the gift that Bella had made for their son, the way it represented such grace and kindness, far beyond any he felt he would have been capable of. His heart ached that she'd done this alone, that he'd left her to pick up the pieces alone, and his eyes burned with the salty mixture of tears.

Rosalie watched them make their way across Jasper's pained expression and whispered, "Go home, Jazz. Take the first step. Go home."

She didn't bother to pick up the album or to wait and see if he would make the right choice, instead Rosalie turned and made her way back through the office and out into the night.

**A/N: We could address the elephant in the room now which would be that I dropped this story last year and haven't updated for months. You could be grumpy with me for committing such a heinous crime; in fact, you could possibly not even make it to the bottom of this chapter because you've given up on BB completely. I'm sorry, BB just slipped from my fingers, and I couldn't force myself to write another chapter. Lame, yes, but true. So, if you've returned to read, I thank you for such kind graciousness. You are lovely and I don't deserve such sweet readers. I'm going to try and do better. XOXO-G**


	22. Chapter 22: Walking Wounded

**Disclaimer: Twilight is the sole possession of Stephenie Meyer and I do not profit monetarily from this piece of writing. **

_*** Chapter 22 – The Walking Wounded ***_

Bella jumped slightly, knocking over the tower of blocks she had been building for Jax, when she heard the back door opening. It wasn't that she feared an intruder, but at the same time, she had started to give up hope that Jasper would be returning to the little house they'd once shared as budding family. The baby had giggled and clapped at the mess, his grin spreading when he saw his daddy standing in the doorway.

Still in shock, she didn't know what to think when he walked into the kitchen that night and stood in the entry of the living room looking so much like a ghost to her eyes, and she certainly couldn't find words to say. So, Bella simply moved to set another place at the table and left Jasper to play with Jackson in the living room until dinner was ready.

The night Rosalie confronted him, Jasper had remained glued to that office chair staring at the wall, staring at the untouched glass on his desk and staring out the window until the sky started to change colors, announcing that another day had arrived. He was sluggish and exhausted all throughout that work day and his eyes were bruised by his sleepless night, but he had resolved to return home that evening. He had to try and grab hold of his family before they slipped through his fingers.

Jackson babbled happily in his high chair, picking up tiny puffed stars and slobbering all over his fingers as he shoved them into his mouth. The child was thankfully oblivious to the way his parents avoided one another, content to be the sole center of attention at the dinner table. Bella and Jasper would smile sweetly at the baby with bright blue eyes, and coo over his efforts at feeding himself. Jasper made a few attempts at conversation, commenting on how Jackson was changing so quickly, and Bella would keep her eyes trained on the child in question, humming in agreement but then the silence would stretch between the two adults once more.

Getting up to clear away the dishes, Bella stopped short at the sink when Jasper asked if he could give Jax his nightly bath and put the boy to bed. How crazy that it felt as if this man who once shared her bed, who had placed a ring on her finger and promised forever, was now the same one who was a stranger in his own home, asking for permission to participate in the routine. Her one word reply of "sure" was barely loud enough for anyone to hear, but she was incapable of finding the strength to say anything more.

He wasn't surprised when he crept out of the nursery to find that their bedroom door was closed and no light shone from the crack in the floor. But, he couldn't stop himself from letting his fingers slide along the smooth expanse of wood, as if he could somehow reach through the door and touch the woman inside. With a sigh, Jasper turned and made his way down the hall, finding that Bella had made up a bed for him on the couch while he'd been putting his son to bed.

Jasper lay on the couch, staring through the drawn curtains to the night sky overhead, unable to sleep. He listened to the muted sounds of the house settling, not missing the way the bed creaked several times as Bella shifted down the hall. She must have been unable to fall to sleep as well, but he'd taken the closed door to mean she still wasn't ready to talk. So, he continued to shift his pillow and twist the sheet in his fingers until exhaustion pulled him under.

Waking suddenly to the feeling that someone was watching him, Jasper backed up on the couch till he was half sitting and fumbled for the switch on the lamp behind him, but Bella interrupted the movement with her whispered plea, "Don't turn it on, please."

Jasper rubbed his face sleepily before letting his hands drop uselessly in his lap, as his eyes focused on the pale woman curled in the overstuffed chair. She looked so tiny and alone in that chair, all dark eyes and long curls in an oversized t-shirt and again his fingers itched to make contact as he grasped for words, "Bella…"

Stopping his attempt, she broke in, her voice a flat line, "You know, I've been sitting here watching you sleep, and I just can't stop staring at that scar."

Running her own fingers under her eye, as if she were the one who bore the mark, she continued, "Funny, but it's one of the things I like most about your face….Every time I look at you and see that mark, I remember that beaten and broken man who showed up on my friend's doorstep, and my mind travels down a path of memories. Of you moving in here, living in my garage, all those dinners in my kitchen, falling in love….God, you were a mess that day, all bloody and bruised….you have come so far since then…"

Jasper mirrored her movement, touching the slightly raised skin from the cut that had not received medical intervention in time to avoid scarring his face. He'd ceased paying any attention to the mark, just accepting that it was part of him now. It seemed like forever ago when Carlisle sewed his skin together, while Bella assisted in tending to his wounds.

Bella's breath caught in her throat, as she shuddered, a sigh escaping her lips while she wrapped her arms around her knees, drawing her body in even closer, "Maybe I was a fool to think I could help you move past those marks….maybe there's poison still hiding under the skin, and it's choking the life out of what we have…"

Trying to swallow the lump in his throat, feeling her pain pierce his heart and tears starting to edge his eyes, Jasper begged, "Please don't give up on me…"

"I don't want to…" Bella wiped at the tears on her own cheeks, staring past Jasper into the night, "Did you know there's this little spot on my bed where the sheets are all tangled because I keep rubbing my feet against each other at night, trying to ease the knots in my stomach, trying to get my mind to slow down, to let go of the worry I feel because you aren't home," she shook her head, "I didn't use to be like this, all this anxiety….I don't like being this way. I can't keep going on like this…"

Jasper felt his heart break, felt the air leave his lungs and struggled to take in another breath, tried to accept responsibility, "I understand, Bella, and I'm so sorry. I don't know how to fix this, but I can try. Please….please just….let me try."

She'd torn her gaze from the window to meet his eyes while his apology spilled out, noticed how they both wore masks of pain and sorrow, and took a measure of hope in knowing they were both hurting and lost as to where to go from here, "I'm not sure I could deny you another chance, even if I wanted to. I love you, Jasper, and that has never changed in the midst of this damnable storm we can't seem to navigate out of. But I wasn't lying to you. I can't go on like this. Something has to change."

Finding a scrap of satisfaction in being able to talk to him, to share some of what she was feeling, Bella just wanted to sleep. Standing up, torn between bridging the distance to touch him and the need to be able to trust him again before she could take that step, Bella started back towards her room.

"Get some sleep, Jasper. We'll figure this out together, but it won't be tonight."

Distance stretched between the two in the darkness of night, and there was an ache hanging in the air created by both man and woman. Jasper watched her go, fighting the urge to run after her, focusing instead on breathing deep and holding tight to her promise that they'd survive this.

The next few days, the couple tiptoed around one another, treating their lives as a fragile, breakable thing. Jasper remained on the couch, so he was always aware when Bella or Jax woke in the mornings. He'd get up with them and would help care for his child or offer to make coffee and breakfast so Bella could snuggle on the couch with their little boy.

It was bittersweet, being at once both hopeful that they could rebuild and mourning what had been damaged.

But every awkward day together was a day that they committed to the love they had for each other, to not giving up.

When Bella slid the appointment card into Jasper's hand before leaving for the diner, he quickly read the name of the therapist and simply nodded to let her know he'd go.

Thinking back to when he and Bella had first started living together, it felt like just the light she brought to his darkness could destroy all the shadows of his past. But time had shown that there were some demons that he needed professional help to face, and Jasper was willing to do what was needed.

However, he was surprised to find when he arrived at the office that afternoon that Bella was already there filling out paperwork. She'd heard the door open and looked up to see his surprise before moving her bag off of the chair next to her, inviting him to sit down as they waited.

Returning to the list of questions on the clipboard, Jasper kept quiet for only a moment before starting, "I didn't realize you'd be here as well."

Stilling the pen in her hand, Bella took the time to soak in the tenderness she found in his gaze, and let her fingers slide over to stop his hands that were worrying the worn ball cap in his hands. As her skin made contact with his, it felt like a soothing balm, this gesture of peace and solidarity.

"I said we'd do this together," she smiled hesitantly at him, hating this place they were in, praying to God that he'd bring them through it, "I meant that."

Grabbing hold of the hand she'd offered as if it were a lifeline, Jasper kissed her fingers, noting that she still wore her engagement ring, and agreed, "Together."

**A/N: Do I realize this is a slightly short chapter? Yes. And, that it was heavy on the angst and emotion? Yes. It was a little draining to write. But, I tend not to gloss over issues my characters have with some magical fix it. **_**Bam. They were fine and lived happily ever after. **_**At the end of last chapter, some of you wanted Bella to make Jasper work for it, some of you couldn't understand why he acted the way he was. Broken people are a mess of issues, and I'm a firm believer in redemption, but not at the cost of ignoring the mess as if it never happened. Bella loves him, and love that is till death do us part is willing to rebuild even after there's pain. I hope you'll continue reading and give our pair a fighting chance. Thanks for your love and support! Xoxo-G**


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